The Day/Night Before

My stomach is still upset.  My ability to cope well diminishes significantly when I am not feeling well.

I was so tired this morning.  Even so, when my son asked me to get up and help him make sandwiches, I did it... with a smile!

I hope, some day, he appreciates just how much I love him.

It took me a while, but I managed to fall back asleep after he left for school.

I woke up late in the morning, still terribly tired.  I considered blowing off my art class, but knew I would be sorry to miss it again (I missed class last week, when class had been moved to the day after Shavuot, and I just could not get out of bed that morning). Somehow, this morning, I managed to drag myself to the second half of the class.  It was hard for me to participate, because of how uncomfortable I was, but I managed to do some work on my project.  Everyone in the art class, sponsored by Tishkofet-Ma'agan, had/has cancer, so I did not feel the need to minimize how I was feeling or why. I received a lot of support and understanding, which I guess I needed.  Overall, I felt glad I made the effort to get there, even if I only made it for half the class.

I was supposed to have a massage afterwards.  I really wanted/needed it.  Instead, the center switched me over to someone who does Reiki.  Probably, on some other day, the switch would have been fine.  But, today, it just made me upset.  My reaction made me realize just how uptight and anxious I am about tomorrow's procedure.

I went straight home and crawled into bed.

I slept, on and off.  People kept waking me up.  Friends called, kids needed me, you know, the usual.... No one expected me to be asleep at 4:00 in the afternoon, or 6:00 in the evening!

I finally fell into a deep asleep around 8:00 pm.  I fully intended on sleeping 'till morning.

Did I mention I have to be at the hospital at 7:00 AM!!!  (that is so cruel!!!)

Then, Moshe woke me at 11:00 pm!  The pre-op instructions said I should shower and shampoo my hair (what hair??) the night before.  I did not read the instructions, but Moshe did... God bless him.

I so did not want to wake up.  But once I was awake, I could not ignore my upset stomach.  So, I got up, showered, and shampood the few hairs I have, wondering what hair will be left after this next round of radiation......

I really should thank Moshe.  Just as I finished dressing, my daughter and her friend came home after opening night, full of excitement and eager to share.  I also got to hear from my daughter about her math bagrut (exam).  I spent about half an hour with my daughter and her friend, and I would not have traded that time for anything in the world!

I would write more, but it's late, and I have to get up in the morning.....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA