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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Day/Night Before

My stomach is still upset.  My ability to cope well diminishes significantly when I am not feeling well.

I was so tired this morning.  Even so, when my son asked me to get up and help him make sandwiches, I did it... with a smile!

I hope, some day, he appreciates just how much I love him.

It took me a while, but I managed to fall back asleep after he left for school.

I woke up late in the morning, still terribly tired.  I considered blowing off my art class, but knew I would be sorry to miss it again (I missed class last week, when class had been moved to the day after Shavuot, and I just could not get out of bed that morning). Somehow, this morning, I managed to drag myself to the second half of the class.  It was hard for me to participate, because of how uncomfortable I was, but I managed to do some work on my project.  Everyone in the art class, sponsored by Tishkofet-Ma'agan, had/has cancer, so I did not feel the need to minimize how I was feeling or why. I received a lot of support and understanding, which I guess I needed.  Overall, I felt glad I made the effort to get there, even if I only made it for half the class.

I was supposed to have a massage afterwards.  I really wanted/needed it.  Instead, the center switched me over to someone who does Reiki.  Probably, on some other day, the switch would have been fine.  But, today, it just made me upset.  My reaction made me realize just how uptight and anxious I am about tomorrow's procedure.

I went straight home and crawled into bed.

I slept, on and off.  People kept waking me up.  Friends called, kids needed me, you know, the usual.... No one expected me to be asleep at 4:00 in the afternoon, or 6:00 in the evening!

I finally fell into a deep asleep around 8:00 pm.  I fully intended on sleeping 'till morning.

Did I mention I have to be at the hospital at 7:00 AM!!!  (that is so cruel!!!)

Then, Moshe woke me at 11:00 pm!  The pre-op instructions said I should shower and shampoo my hair (what hair??) the night before.  I did not read the instructions, but Moshe did... God bless him.

I so did not want to wake up.  But once I was awake, I could not ignore my upset stomach.  So, I got up, showered, and shampood the few hairs I have, wondering what hair will be left after this next round of radiation......

I really should thank Moshe.  Just as I finished dressing, my daughter and her friend came home after opening night, full of excitement and eager to share.  I also got to hear from my daughter about her math bagrut (exam).  I spent about half an hour with my daughter and her friend, and I would not have traded that time for anything in the world!

I would write more, but it's late, and I have to get up in the morning.....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

15 comments:

Bernie said...

Thinking of you now and hoping everything is going well. Hope your tummy is better, waiting for an update and will keep you in my heart and prayers......:-) Hugs

Devorah said...

I will be thinking of you and davening for you tomorrow and hope things go well.
May you feel Hashem with you wherever you go!
Your children are lucky to have such a special mother who really loves them with all her heart and realizes the importance of quality time spent together, even after being woken up and ready to head right back to bed. Good for you!

Anonymous said...

It's 8 PM here which means it's 4 AM there. I pray that the next few hours will be tranquil for you and that your surgery will be successful. You and your family deserve refuah shleymah. I'm thinking and prayer for Rivka bat Teirtzel.bliongl

Robert J. Avrech said...

Davening for you.

G6 said...

Davening for you as well.
Holding you very tight and very close.
Please let us know how it went, not only physically, but emotionally as well.

Andrea said...

It is 7:17am there, as I type this, RivkA, and you are undoubtedly already at the hospital. My prayers are with you, as are my thoughts and best wishes. Please update us as you are able. I love you! ~Andrea

Baila said...

Thinking of you, as ever...

Robin said...

Sending entire truckloads of good thoughts your way.

xox

Batya said...

You're on my T'hillim list, refuah shleimah.
My friend would love the art lessons. G-d willing you'll get her involved.

Rahel said...

Holding you strongly in my thoughts, RivkA, and praying for you.

mikimi said...

i hope all goes well w/o too much pain/nausea or other difficulty.
refua shelayma.

CN said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you..refua shelema... :-)

Anonymous said...

RivkA, you are very much in our thoughts and prayers over here in Netanya, Judy, Avraham and Daniel

Linda said...

holding you in my prayers and heart. Linda

Anonymous said...

We all love you!
ABH