Crazy Cancer Patient

Yes, that would be me.

I could barely shuffle down the hall this morning; I was in that much pain.

I arrived at the hospital around 9:00 am.  The entire nursing staff took care of me so that I would have time to receive both the Herceptin and the Doxil.  They did an amazing job, but it was close to 4:30 pm, by the time I got out of there.

I did manage to schedule a massage, and that helped me immensely.  I felt much better afterwards, and I moved easier as well.

I drove straight home, packed up some good food, packed my daughters into the car, and drove to the train station. 

Then we took the train to Tel Aviv and saw Carmen in Park HaYarkon.

I got home around 1:30 in the morning!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Aack! I Am Going Through Withdrawal (Humor)

Aack!  I am going through withdrawal!!

Not from the narcotics!!

(What were you thinking?!?)

I am doing fine with the narcotics. In fact, I probably should be taking more of them!

It is hard for me to keep taking more narcotics; they scare me.  I KNOW tha people who really need narcotics do not usually get addicted, but I still find them frightening. All those years of “say no to drugs” and all that....

Anyway, drugs aside, I am definitely experiencing withdrawal.

OK, so I do not have the shakes or the shivers.  Instead, I have words swirling around my brain and nowhere to put them down.

My internet source has been cut off and I am experiencing cyberspace withdrawal symptoms.

I am spending a few days with a friend and we have no internet access.
Not to worry, I will get hooked up again as soon as I go home.

Meanwhile, at least I got a quick fix (in a restaurant in town)....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Please Pray for: David Yosef ben Faigeh Perel

It is amazing how we put ourselves at the center of the world, even though we do not always belong there.

When I learned of the terrible accident, all I could think was: I just saw his mother last night at our daughter's Bat Mitzvah celebration. 

My friend, who suffers her own health issues, joined us in our simcha, beautiful and laughing, as always.  That is what I love most about her.  She and I spend most of our time together laughing at life's ironies. 

She makes me laugh.  She tells it like it is, doesn't whitewash the tough stuff, and won't let anyone around her wallow in self pity.  When I feel most down, I call her, and she whips me into shape.  She  is the strongest woman I know.

And now this.

This thing that, three weeks later, is still too horrible for words.

There is nothing to joke about, nothing to laugh about.

We could laugh at ourselves. 

This is not about us.

It is about our kids.  It is about her kid, her youngest son.

My friend's youngest son is one of those "really good kids,"  the kind of kid who "makes his momma proud."

He is a strong, healthy, capable, independent teenager.  He could do anything he wants.  Yet he chooses to spend his free time saving other people's lives.  He is a volunteer fire-fighter.

At least, he was all these things... until three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago, he was driving in a car with some other fire-fighter volunteers; he was sitting in the passenger seat.  A car pulled out in front of theirs, making a dangerous, and illegal, turn.  The driver of his car, pulled to the side, trying to avoid a collision, but the other car still hit their car, knocking the passenger side into a steel lightpost.  The passenger seat crumpled.  (you can view pictures here.  please note that the accompanying article contains several factual errors)

The only person critically wounded was David.  His friends, all fire fighters, immediately went to work, trying to save his life.

The first miracle God did was to help David survive the night, despite his very serious injuries.

Now we need some more miracles.

David is in a coma.  He is, thank God, breathing on his own.  Nevertheless, the trauma to his brain is very serious.

He will need all of his strength, and all the strength from our prayers, to come out of this.

Please daven for the refuah shlaymah of David Yosef ben Faigeh Perel


(read about David's strength and determination in this article from March, about David's bike ride up the Hermon)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

What Do You Say When There is Nothing to Say?

What do you say when there is nothing to say?

We have all been there.

We have all faced a friend, going through a really rough time, and wondered: what can I possibly say to make my friend feel better?

More often than not, the answer is: nothing.

There is nothing you can say.

There is nothing you can do.

So, just be there. 

Say nothing.

Just listen.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Support Group -- Final Meeting of the Year

Our support group always breaks for the summer. 

Tonight we met for the last time this year. 

In addition to updating each other about ourselves, several of us learned that another member of our group passed away just over a week ago. 

For me, Shoshana was a "new" member.  She only joined the group this year, and did not come every time, so I did not know her so well.  At first, I could not even identify who we were talking about.

I felt disconnected from the discussion about her.

It might seem cold, but since I was not close with her, the news of her passing felt distant, as if it did not really affect me.

I guess, on some level, I have erected a shield, to protect myself from this sort of news.  In the world I live in, the angel of death is a regular guest.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Overly Optimistic & New Pain Theory

******warning: biological details******

Wish I could report that I am feeling better.  I am not.

I am not worried about anything serious.  My biggest concern last week was that maybe the pain was from a strangulated hernia, but the doctor confirmed that my symptoms do not match that situation. 

We both agreed that the pain was consistant with constipation.  The laxative he prescribed seems to have cleared out my intestines, but it has not fully resolved the pain.  The initial pain is significantly less, but I still have sharp pain whenever I breathe deeply or yawn.  And I am still uncomfortable when lying on my side or sitting up.

My new theory is that I must have pulled a muscle during the period when I was constipated and trying to relieve myself.  (sorry for the graphic description, but it is what it is).

I might have pulled a muscle around my lower lung or somewhere in my upper abdomen.  Either way, if I am correct, it will take a while for the muscle to heal, so I do not expect relief anytime in the next few days (or nights).

Nights are really the worst, because I keep waking up from pain.  I have not had a pain free, good night's sleep in over a week.

And I wonder why I am so tired.....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

A Pain-Free Window and Another Miserable Night (Medical Update)

Despite yesterday's crazy, drugged-up, day at the hospital,  I managed to rest for an hour before leaving to give my presentation in Elazar.

I am pleased to report that I felt great during my presentation, and the talk was excellent (if I do say so myself).  I spoke for about an hour and then opened the floor for questions.  Many women actively participated, asking pertinent and insightful questions. Even after the evening officially ended, women came up to ask additional questions and share some more personal thoughts.

I had prepared an outline for the evening's talk, to give to the organizers.  I usually do not plan out what I am going to say in such detail.  The outline really helped me to focus my presentation, and the messages I wished to convey.

Right after the presentation, on my way out, I experienced a sudden, new, intense pain, in my upper abdomen, on my right side.  It hurt me to breathe.  I could barely stand up straight.

It felt like a gas bubble was caught underneath my ribcage and I did not know how to relieve the pressure.  The pharmacist had warned me that the pain medications could cause constipation, which I understood to be at the root of this new pain.

As soon as I got home, I collapsed into bed.  Lying flat on my back was the least uncomfortable position.  Turning onto my side caused excruciating pain.  Two hours after I first fell asleep, I woke up from the pain. I could not fall back asleep, the pain was unbearable.

I wrote an email to my doctor then spent an hour in the bathroom.  I managed to relieve at least some of the pressure, but it was not fun to be up in the middle of the night, feeling so much discomfort.

I felt pretty miserable.  It took another hour or so to fall into a fitful sleep.  I did not sleep well.  The pain kept waking me up.  Each time, I had to concentrate on breathing slowly and shalowly, so I could relax my body enough to fall asleep.

When morning finally came around, I still hurt. 

I went to the doctor, who examined my abdomen and agreed with my evaluation.  He prescribed a laxative and gave me a shot for the pain. 

By the time I finished at the doctor's office, the pharmacy had already received my order for the new pain patches.  My mom picked up the new patches, which are 50 mg of Fenta (instead of 12), and I put one on right away. 

The new patch seems to be working.  I took one Percocet when I woke up this morning, but, besides that shot in the doctor's office, I have not needed any further supplements to the pain patch.

I still feel abdominal pain on my right side, but it is significantly less than this morning's pain.  I am cautiously optimistic that I will feel better tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my mother's last day of this visit.  It would be nice if we could do something fun....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA