A Week Away from Home

My dear, dear friend came to Israel to visit me!

I feel so special and loved.

Her husband, who is also a close friend of ours, could not get away now, so her mother decided to accompany her for this visit. I must admit that I also love my friend's mother, who has always been so warm and embracing. In addtion to being a very intelligent and interesting woman, she has also been very generous and loving to me. Sometimes, I have to stop myself from calling her “mom.”

While they were here, I stayed with them at the hotel.  What a treat!  We hung out all day, talking and spending time together!

The dynamic with the three of us was very good.  We found the right balance between doing things all together and doing things separately. My friend's mom was totally understanding about my friend's and my need to spend some time on our own. Though, almost every morning, I ended up spending time alone with my friend's mother, because my friend needed to sleep even more than I did!  There were also a few things that I did on my own (like attending a friend's wedidng), so my friend and her mom also had some time to spend together, just the two of them.

My friend and her mom took two rooms at a Jerusalem hotel and I stayed with my friend in her room. It was so much fun, like going on vacation without any of the headaches. I didn't even have to leave town.

Since our only goal was to spend time together, we did not “overschedule” our time. We took each day “b'easy.”  (I bet even you non-hebrew speakers can figure this translation out! We just....“took it easy”)

My friend and I both brought some of our favorite games to play.  We also spent several afternoons just hanging out in the pool, treading water or lazing about, hanging onto the wall or sitting on the steps. Being in the water is very pleasant for me. My back always feels better in the water, without any weight on my skeleton.

For the most part, God has been pretty good to me regarding pain. I still hurt a lot, but most of the time the pain was managable and I enjoyed the time with my friend.

I felt really relieved. When she came, I was still pretty much at the peak of my suffering, but the pain patch seemed to be helping and as long as I remembered to treat the breakthrough pain with Percocet, I felt ok.
Before we knew it, the days flew by and her trip came to an end.

We talk on the phone almost every day, but that does not compare to actually being able to see each other!

Before she and her family moved to the US, we used to live a few blocks away from each other and get together several times a week.

I miss her so much!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel. With love and optimism, RivkA

BBQ Get-Away

Friends invited us for a Thursday night BBQ and then extended the invitation through Shabbat.

I did not sleep much, but I had a great time, stargazing, talking late into the night, playing games during the day, and, of course, eating good food.

I do not know what magic ingredients they used for cooking, but I actually ate real food while we were there.

I even ate meat... and enjoyed it!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Vegetarian Pregnancy Problem -- What to do When Your Fetus Craves Meat?

I was a strict vegetarian for years.  You know, the crazy kind of vegetarian that only religious Jews can be.

"What, that chicken touched this potato?  Of course, I cannot eat the potato!"

Well, all that changed when I was pregnant...

In the middle of my first pregnancy, Moshe and I were visiting friends for Shabbat.  They served a very simple lunch, including a platter of Israeli cold cuts.

Now, I love deli meat (especially corned beef and pastrami).  But, let's face it, the deli meat in Israel is lousy.

The quality of the meat did not deter me.  I sat at the table and salivated.  I felt as if the earth was about to open up and swallow me (note the Korach connection to last week's parsha) and the only thing that could save me was to eat the cold cuts.

But I was a vegetarian!!

Now, I was not really a fanatical vegetarian.  I did not believe that meat eaters were morally inferior.  I simply believed that refraining from killing animals was a preferable way to live. I always claimed that if I craved meat, it would be a sign that my body needed the meat.

For years, eating meat was a non-issue.

Then, there I was, craving deli meats.

For an hour, I asked Moshe what I should do.  I just wanted him to tell me: "It is okay for you to eat the meat."

God bless my husband, he never tells me what to do.

Always sensitive, he tells me, instead: "It is your choice. Whatever you decide is okay."

NOT THE SAME!!

For an hour (an hour!), I suffered.

Then, I succumbed.

I swore my husband and my friends to secrecy; then I gobbled up the entire plate of cold cuts!

I thought my cravings for chicken would go away after I gave birth, but they did not.  Apparently, nursing had the same physical/nutritional effect on my body as being pregnant.  I needed meat.

Finally, I decided.  If I could face my vegan friend and admit that I was no longer vegetarian, I could cross over to "the dark side."

My friend, who is an ideological vegan, was so supportive.  I will forever be grateful to her for not judging me.

It took years for the cravings to end.

It took chemo to make chicken unappealing.

I am not likely to become vegetarian again.  I still like good deli and a good all-beef hot dog!  But I would rather drink a glass of milk than have a piece of chicken.

Meanwhile, it is part of our family lore, that it is my eldest daughter's fault that I am no longer vegetarian.

All the above is to explain why I was so touched when my eldest daughter called me over yesterday, to "come watch this (episode of Friends), it is all about us!"

The B-plot of the episode is about Phoebe, a strict vegetarian, who is pregnant and.... craves meat. 

We watched together and just laughed!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Feeling Way Better Today!!

Wow, did I have a bad day yesterday!  Thank you all for your support and empathy!

This morning, I woke up feeling so much better!!  (Not perfect, but WAY better!!)

I made it to my art class at Ma'agan-Tishkofet, and had the added benefit of taking my daughter to school on the way.  There was a cancellation at the The Yuri Shtern Holistic Center, so I got the massage I "missed" last week.  I left feeling relaxed and energized.

I ran around doing all sorts of small errands from my unending list of "things to do." 

I had time, so on one of my stops, I spent an hour (maybe even more), hanging out with a friend (listening to some of her issues, sharing, supporting, drinking ice coffeee -- you know, the things friends do....).

I picked up my aunt (She's really Moshe's aunt. -- I do not actually have any aunts.  Lucky for me, Moshe has such a wonderful family, I inherited" all his fantastic aunts! and uncles!), who graciously accompanied me on a longer errand, to pick up my chemotherapy.  Then we went to town and ate ice cream and waffles -- YUMM!!

Truth be told, neither of us could finish our order!  (I always take my LO's for the next day!)

Then we went back to her place and I got to see my uncle and their grandson, who came to visit.  I hung out with them for a long time.  They are such wonderful people.

I totally forgot that I had a PTA meeting tonight!  OOPS!!!

On my way home, I picked up my son, who just returned from his sayarut (scouts) tiyul (hike).  They slept out last night, then had a long hike in this heat wave -- boy, did he stink!!  As soon as we walked in the door, he put his clothes in the machine and his body in the shower!!

I thought he would go to sleep as soon as he got out of the shower, but on the tiyul he had figured out all this number theory stuff, and he wanted to share it.  I did not have the head for it, but Moshe listened.. Moshe was so impressed that he forced me to listen too.  Our son understands high level math on such an intuitive level!

I feel like I have really dropped the ball regarding my son's education.  To my chagrin, we have been so busy with my health issues that academia fell by the wayside for most of this year. 

I really try not to feel guilty about things that are in the past and/or are beyond my control.

Sometimes, it is hard not to feel remorse about how cancer has, and is, affecting our family....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Eurovision 2010

I love watching Eurovision and I love watching with friends.

This year, several friends from our neighborhood joined us, increasing our fun!

JB is now officially a "regular" -- she has been joining us for at least three years!*  This year, her husband joined us as well, which was really a pleasure!  We are often guests in their home for Shabbat, but I do not host much on Shabbatot anymore, so it was nice to be able to host them both for this!

My friend, CV, who now lives in Shlav Bet (the neighborhood just below us) and her daughter also came, which enhanced the fun for me (even more) and for my eldest daughter. 

This year, all our kids watched with us, which was really special.  It is interesting to see how they "vote."

Our family rates each of the songs as they are shown.  We inherited this tradition from BB, with whom we used to watch Eurovision, oh, so many years ago! (even before we had kids!)

Since Eurovision begins AFTER our kids' normal bedtimes, I did insist that our two younger kids go to sleep right after the songs, without watching the voting.  They were not happy about leaving the party, but the voting takes at least an hour and a half.  As is, they went to bed hours after their bedtime!

Watching Eurovision is an experience; it is so nice to share that experience with family and friends!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

* In Judaism, three years constitutes a chazakah (an "established pattern").

The Best Favors

Apropos my recent post about friendship, I will share with you one of the best truisms I learned from my friend, IS. (my phrasing, her idea)

"The best favors are those that are no big deal for the giver and a really big deal for the receiver!"



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

From Each According to Her Abilities, To Each According to Her Needs

We each have our own gifts and our own weaknesses.

We form our friendships based on our commonalities, but I am finding that my deepest friendships are strengthened by our differences.

Friends with different views challenge us intellectually.

Friends with different interests expand our horizons.

And friends with different abilities help us when we cannot do it ourselves.

My friend, Bracha, from Sde Eliyahu called the day before my radiosurgery and offered to come stay with us over Shabbat and help with whatever we needed. 

We were also invited to spend this Shabbat with my in-laws.  I love going to my in-laws, especially for Shabbat.  We were there just last week!  But I really wanted to be home this week, in my own bed.

There are not many guests who give more than they receive.  Bracha is one of those.  The best part is that she thinks that she is getting more than she receives.  Imagine that!

I am still not sure what I am giving her that matches what she is giving me, but that is the beauty of friendship.  Good friends strengthen each other; together we are better people.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Crazy Night, Crazier Day

When I volunteered to coordinate registration for our Barnard alumnae event (last night), I did not realize it was scheduled for the same evening as my close friend's son's Bar Mitzvah celebration.  By the time I realized the scheduling conflict, I had already taken on the responsibility for coordinating the whole event, including the hall, the caterer, etc.  I love coordinating these events, even though it is a lot of work.  I am a people person, and events like this are invigorating for me.

Thankfully, I had made it to the Bar Mitzvah celebration on Shavuot, which was really the main celebration.  Still, I did not want to miss the evening celebration, especially the speaches by the Bar Mitzvah boy and his family (that's my favorite part!). 

The alumnae event was scheduled to end an hour after the Bar Mitzvah celebrations were scheduled to begin.  If the timing worked out, I imagined I could arrive at the Bar Mitzvah celebration not long after it began. Who was I kidding?

Of course, our event ran a bit longer than expected!  And I am slow getting everything packed up!!  I arrived at the Bar Mitzvah celebration almost two hours late!  I was worried that I missed all the important parts. 

I walked in, just as the second speach began.  I actually made it on time!! (almost!)

I just missed the first speach by the Abba.  To my good fortune, he posted his speach on his blog.  Reading it is not quite as good as hearing it in person, but it is a close second.

I had such a good time at both events!  It was after 11:00 pm, when I crashed.  It was the very end of the Bar Mitzvah, and I was sitting with my friend and several other close friends, when a wave of exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had to go home and lie down, NOW!

Within seconds of arriving home, I was in bed, fast asleep.

Everyone was tired this morning.  We all slept late.

My youngest was hours late to school  My middle child decided to take the day off (I did not really approve, but his teacher gave his permission, so I let it go).  And my eldest did not have school so that she could prepare for the math bagrut (national exam) tomorrow.

I will never get used to the Israeli system.

I spent several hours this morning talking with my son, and helping him plan out his morning, so it would be productive.  He decided to learn several chapters of Navi (Prophets), since that was one of the classes he would be missing today.  Of course, he also spent half an hour playing on the computer....

Meanwhile, I went to the hospital for my "pre-op" stuff -- registering for the radiosurgery and a quick MRI.

Again, who was I kidding???

The hospital registration was a beaurocratic nightmare, and the MRI was backed up by over an hour!

Thank God, my friend who accompanied me today, NHC, was really helpful!  Especially when the doctor did not get the needle in the vein on her first attempt, and I was really scared and uptight when she tried again. 

Between the registration, the delay, the needles, and everything else, I was pretty stressed out!

Did I mention that I did not cancel my swimming classes????

As soon as I finished the test, we ran out of there.  I did not even wait to get the CD.  (I will pick it up on Wednesday)

My friend took me straight home, so I could pick up my son and my car.  My son waited outside, with the keys to my car; so, as soon as I got home, we drove off to the pool!

I teach the best kids!  And their parents, God bless them, are so flexible and understanding.  I arrived 20 minutes late for my first class.  (Classes are only half an hour long!)

I ended up combining my first and second classes, and just made the lesson longer.  My son also assisted me in teaching that class.  I could write a whole post about how wonderful it was to work together with my son!

Then I taught my advanced swimmers class, and my son joined that class.  It has been a while since he has been in class and he worked really hard.  I was so proud of him.  And so pleased to see that his form was still good!!

I love my advanced swimmers class.  There are two or three different levels in that class and it is so challenging, but so great.  I really get to push the kids to achieve more than they think they can do.  Every once in a while, I have a lesson where I see that each kid has really made progress.  Today was like that!

I was in such a great mood when I finished teaching.  And I was so excited to have spent such quality time with my son.  In theory, as soon as I got home, I could have gone straight to bed....

In theory..... but not in real life.

Believe it or not, my day did not end there.  (Yes, I am a crazy woman!)

Tonight, Moshe and I attended the first workshop, in a series of 8, based on the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk."  The series is sponsored, and hosted, by Zichron Menachem, so the workshop relates to the impact of having a family member with cancer.  The other families all have kids who have or had cancer.  We are the only family in the workshop with a parent who has cancer.

After the workshop, we had to stop by the drugstore.

By the time we got home, it was close to midnight.

It has been a long, emotionally draining, day!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Shavuot 2010 -- The Way it Was....

On Erev Shavuot, our host walked in the door with a list of the shiurim (study sessions) that were being offered by his shul (synagogue):  a series of lectures about the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Dead Sea Sects, from the Second Temple period.

Earlier that day, Moshe told me he did not plan on staying up all night learning this year.  I planned to study all night at Pardes, like I did last year. 

As soon as I heard the topic, I knew Moshe would want to go that shul and learn there all night!  This stuff is like candy for him, like someone opened the door to the candy shop and said, "go in and take whatever you want."  I also knew he would want me to go with him (if you could have as much candy as you wanted, wouldn't you want to share it?).  Of course, I joined him.

The topic of the third shiur interested me the most, but by that time, the hour and the Hebrew were starting to get to me.  I finally succumbed and left the room to sleep for "a few minutes."  I returned... an hour later, just as the fourth, and final, shiur was ending. 

I was so tired. 

I began to wonder if it really made sense for me to walk to the Old City.

I was not even going to daven (pray) there, because I would be davening later, at the Bar Mitzvah of my friend's son. Moreover, I worried that even if I did manage to walk to and from the Old City, I would crash when I got back, and be compelled to sleep.  I did not want to miss the Bar Mitzvah.

I also did not want to disappoint my kids. 

My eldest had already announced that she planned on learning with her friends and walking with them, so I did not have to worry about her.  But I did promise my other two kids....

God had already arranged a solution....

Our host planned to walk to the Kotel with his sons; he was happy to take our son with him and our son was happy to join him. My youngest preferred to sleep in this year.  So I was "off the hook."

I chose to use my brain instead of my feet this year.

For the first time, since I moved to Israel, I did not walk to the Kotel on Shavuot morning. Instead, I decided to sleep for a few hours, so that I would be awake and alert at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. 

Please God, I will walk to the Old City again, next year.

This year, I needed to be with my friend and celebrate with her.  I know she appreciated it!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Shavuot! (Automated Post)

This is an automated post, because I do not write, or type, or use the computer, on our Holy Days.

If I am lucky, I will stay awake all Tuesday night learning Torah (Bible studies); then I will walk with my children to the Old City of Jerusalem, there we will daven (pray) in the rebuilt "Hurva," after which we will visit with our (Moshe's) cousins, who live in the Old City; then we will walk "home" (to where we are staying).

Unlike other years, when the next step is SLEEPING, this year I will continue on to my friend's shul (synagogue), where her son (who I have known since the moment he was born -- I was actually at his birth!) will be reading the Torah portion, the Haftorah, a chapter from the Book of Ruth (which we read on this holiday) and celebrating his Bar Mitzvah.  I can't miss that!

Only afterwards, will I go home and sleep!

We'll see how much I actually stick to this ambitious plan....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Baruch Dayan Emet -- Taube Korn z"l

I do not want to write this post.  Writing it makes it true.  And I do not want it to be true.

I did not want to write this, yet I could not write anything else, until I wrote it.  Which is why my blog has been silent for so many days.  I did not want to write the words that would make it real.

My dear friend, Taube, passed away last Tuesday night.

Her funeral was on Wednesday, at the same time as I was scheduled for my PET scan.  There was no way I could attend.  Maybe that was God's way of protecting me.

Though I met Taube because of our cancers, we discovered connections that go back to our childhood.  We grew up a block away from each other, our brothers were in school together, our mothers knew each other, we were in the same youth group, and we attended the same college/university.  Our common past, combined with our common present, formed a strong bond between us.

Taube began her journey into the cancer world about a year before I did, so she provided a tremendous amount of support and insight for me.  Whenever I felt lost, I called Taube, and she guided me with patience and wisdom.

I was privileged to be a guest in her home on several occasions and got to know her kids a bit as well.  To say that her family is impressive, is an understatement.  I cannot adequately describe the harmony I felt in her home.

Mostly, we talked on the phone.  We talked about cancer, parenting, religion, faith.  You name it, we talked about it. 

Even as her health deteriorated, I did not believe that her situation would not turn itself around.  She had a very rare form of bone cancer and had been in a not-so-good place before.  I felt sure the doctors could bring her around again.

Taube was poised, smart, private, perceptive, and giving.  She managed to keep working, despite her pain and limitations.  She inspired me to be strong and to live my life, despite the cancer. 

When I felt darkness closing in on me, Taube helped me through it. 

I did not realize how quickly her own darkness was closing in on her.

When Taube stopped calling me, I assumed she must be busy.

When she stopped returning my calls, I started to worry.  Still, I assumed she must be busy.

She was busy.  I had no idea....

By the time I realized how serious things were, Taube no longer felt strong enough for visitors.

I did not have a chance to say good bye.

Had I the chance, what would I have said?

A friend wisely advised me to write Taube a letter, which I did.  Taube's husband read the letter to her. 

In the letter, I let Taube know how much I valued her friendship and appreciated all her advice, support, and love.

I will miss her more than I can describe.

May her memory be a blessing.

יהי זיכרה ברוך



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

I Want to Know, But You Do Not Need to Tell Me

Dear Friend,

I want to know how you are, even if you are going through a tough time.

Maybe you do not want to tell me.  Perhaps you do not want to burden me, or scare me.  Maybe you just do not want to talk about it.  Maybe you are too tired.  I do now know what you are feeling. 

I respect your boundaries.  I do not want to push you.

I want you to know:  I miss our conversations.  I miss your insight.  I miss your support. 

I am so worried about you.  And so scared.

I want to respect your privacy.  I want to give you the space you need.  I know that this is a difficult time for you. 

I just do not know what to do.

I am praying for you all day long.

Love,
RivkA




Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Pesach 2010 -- Camping & The Israeli Juggling Convention -- Shabbat

Friday zipped by! 

Friday afternoon, we saw the Israeli Jugglers show.  It was a really good show.  There are a lot of talented Israeli jugglers.  One of the Israeli performers was not actually Israeli (or Jewish).  Jan, (pronounced: Yan) a tall, lanky German juggler, with long, straight hair, gathered in a "ponytail," has been a regular participant at the Israeli Juggling Convenion for the last six years.  He takes full advantage of his long limbs to juggle in a most unusual way.

I met Jan on the first of second day of the convention.  He is a very sweet, and gentle young man.  His travel partner, a young German woman juggler, was equally friendly and fun. 

Right after the show, Moshe left to spend Shabbat with our friends (the husband and youngest son) on Kibbutz Sde Eliyahu.  (Moshe does not enjoy camping, so there was no question that he would not camp on Shabbat.)

My eldest originally planned to spend Shabbat on kibbutz, with her Abba, but in the end decided to stay with the rest of us campers.

I had assumed that Sachneh was an enclosed area, and that the fence surrounding the park served as an "eiruv" -- creating an enclosure and enabling the carrying of objects out of doors.  It turns out, this issue is far more complicated than I expected.  The eiruv can only be established if everyone agrees to it, or if the chosen head of the community (e.g. the mayor of a city) declares it so.  Well, there are no mayors of the national parks, but my Rabbi said that the head of the convention could be considered the "mayor" for this purpose.

So I tracked down the head of the convention and explained what we needed to create the Eiruv.  He was honored to say the special prayer for us and asked me for a copy of the text.

Setting up the eirvu took longer than I thought it would and left me with just ten minutes to shower before Shabbat!  I ran to get ready!

Once again, my kibbutz friend (who camped with us, while my husband slept at her home, along with her husband) really enhanced our experience. I was prepared to eat Matzah and Cold Cuts for dinner.  But, while I was running around trying to make sure we had an Eiruv, she prepared cooked food on a portable gas burner.

We lit candles by our tent (in an aluminum pan , as an extra precaution).

I really felt the peace of Shabbat enveloping us.

We had a minyan (quorum of ten men) for Kabbalat Shabbat (the prayers welcoming Shabbat).  It was beautiful, praying outside, singing under the trees.

We ate Shabbat dinner as a community. All the families in our little enclave sat in a circle.  We put our food in the center, and shared our meal.  It felt really special.

Unfortunately, at the same time as we ate, there was a special workshop on Diabolo juggling, given by the two international guests, who are amazing Diabolo jugglers.  I encourage our son, who is a serious Diabolo juggler, to attend. 

The workshop lasted longer than I expected, and my son rejoined us after most people were finished eating.  He made his own Kiddush (blessing over wine or grape juice, sanctifying the Shabbat) and HaMotzi (blessing over bread), and ate good food, but the "festive meal" is not the same when you are eating alone.

He did feel that the workshop was worthwhile, so at least he did not regret his choice.  But, afterwards, he related that it did detract from his Shabbat experience.

After dinner, we hung around for a while and then we went to bed.

In the morning, our family (again, I am including my kibbutz friend) got up at our own pace.  After davening, we ate together, with just our family.  It was still quite early in the day, so our festive meal was really breakfast.  But since matzah is the main staple of most Pesach meals, we made Kiddush and HaMotzi before eating our breakfast.

After the meal, my daughters hung out on our machatzelet (woven rug), doing gymnastics with our friend's kids (all girls).  They worked on excersizes that were similar to those in the acrobalance workshops.

My son and I spent a few hours in the Ulam Sport (gym).  In addition to practicing on his Diabolo, my son was working on walking a tight rope.  By Shabbat afternoon, he could walk across with no problem and was working on slightly more complex moves.

I practiced juggling three balls.

In the afternoon, we had our third Shabbat meal: matzah and salami.  Once again, we just ate with our family.  It was a nice, quiet, relaxed meal.  Then we hung out until Shabbat ended.

On Motz'ai Shabbat (Saturday night, after Shabbat), Moshe rejoined us and we all went to the International Performance.  The guest artists were really good. 

My youngest daughter heard from a friend who saw the earlier show that a lot of this show had performances that took place below the stage.  So, I made sure we sat way up front.  My girls complained at first, especially my eldest, because we were sitting slightly off to the side;  my eldest felt I had "forced" them out of the seats they wanted, which were much further back, but in the middle of the row., especially my eldest.  However, once the show started and she saw how great our seats were, and how well we could see the portions of the performance that were below the stage, I think she really did appreciate it.  I kept whispering to her, "say 'thank you, Ima'....", and she did!

After the show, the girls went to sleep and my son and I went back to the Ulam Sport.  There we participated in a human siteswap.  It was really cool.  Eventually, my son tired out and went to sleep.  I stayed longer, working on getting our timing right. 

Afterwards, I learned this wierd juggling game that the Haifa Jugglers make up. 

Once I figured out the game, I got bored and practiced juggling 3 balls.

As the night wore on, I knew I should go to sleep, but I was reluctant to leave.

I really loved being there.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Pesach 2010 -- Camping & The Israeli Juggling Convention -- Day 2

I wanted to sleep late, but the birds were chirping and the kids (not mine) were playing.....

I turned over a few times, catching a bit more sleep each time, before I woke. 

Breakfast was simple and yummy.  I do not have trouble finding what to eat on Pesach.  I always say, "Give me matzah, butter, and salt, and I am happy."  Well, that was breakfast, and that was good enough for me!  Even eating as little as I do, I had to limit myself from eating more.  I love matzah, butter, and salt!  To top it off, I had half a piece of matzah with jam.  I was a very happy camper!

As soon as breakfast was over, my son headed to the ulam sport (gym), to join the jugglers. I went with him to buy a new Diabolo -- he's juggling with two now.  He only had the new one during the convention (ironically, he forgot his old one in his school locker!), but he was able to borrow a second one from a friend.

That's one of the really nice things about the convention.  Everyone is happy to lend you their equipment, as long as they are not using it.  The atmosphere of sharing goes way beyond the equipment.

In general, there are two ways that people relate to their knowledge/talents:  some want to keep their knowledge to themselves, to be "better" than everyone else, and others want to share their knowledge, to teach others what they know.  Everyone we met at the Israeli Juggling Convention wanted to share their knowledge.  Strangers would stop what they are doing to help you perfect your technique or to teach you something new.

So much giving creates a strong sense of community.

Later in the morning, the girls and I went swimming in the "pools."  We neglected to invite my son, assuming that he preferred to practice his juggling.  We were wrong.  Apparently, we had made the exact same mistake last year.  He was pretty understanding, though disappointed.  I felt really bad about the oversight.  I thought I would take him a different day, but that turned out to be the only time we went to the pools.

That night, at around 11:00 or 12:00, there was an interesting working about the mathematics of juggling, led by Daniel Shultz.  I thought my son would be interested, but he wasn't.  I was.  It turned out to be a workshop for "siteswap" table juggling.   It was challenging, and FUN; I really got into it.  The person teaching it was American (or maybe Canadian), and after the workshop he explained the background and theory to me in more detail. It was fascinating.  There is a correlation between table juggling and regular juggling; the notation is the same and each table move has a corresponding juggling move.  It made me want to learn how to juggle.  (I might be the first person to learn the theory and table games before knowing how to really juggle)

At around 2:00 am, I decided to head for bed.  On the way out, I started talking with one of the jugglers (a teen, 17 yrs old) about the workshop and juggling.  He immediately asked, "Want to learn now?"

It was so late.... but, how could I say no?  So, I said yes.

Ofek, from Haifa, was an excellent teacher. 

First, he told me to throw all the balls on the floor.  Then, with a smile, he said "get used to seeing the balls on the ground, because in the beginning they will be on the ground a lot." 

While he was teaching me, he told me not to pick up the balls, because I would hurt my back by bending down so often.  He kept picking up the balls with his feet, which was totally cool.  So, I asked him to teach me how to do that as well. 

Picking up the balls that way takes more coordination than I realized.  You have to maneuver the ball onto your foot, using your other foot; then quickly, before the ball rolls off, curl your toes upward to hold the ball in place.  Then you have to raise your foot fast, to get the ball to rise in the air high enough, so that you can catch the ball in your hand.  They make it look so easy!

Picking up the ball with my feet was especially challenging for me, because of the stiffness in my hips. I knew there was no way I could do it with my left leg (my left hip joint is just not flexible anymore, because of the cancer), but I kept trying with my right foot, and eventually I managed!

Within half an hour of working with Ofek, I was able to catch the balls six times.  Apparently, that makes me an "official" juggler.  Ofek told me it took him three days to do that.  I responded: "I clearly had a better teacher." (he couldn't argue with that!)  He's a really good juggler, so I felt really encouraged.

When the balls started looking blurry, I decided to call it a night. 

The time: 3:00 am.

I knew it was crazy.

I felt so good.

I did not want to leave, but I knew I had to sleep.

Ofek commented that I looked happy when I was juggling. 

I felt happy.

I felt healthy.

I knew I would crash later.

I was living in the moment.

Enjoying every second.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Pesach 2010 -- Camping & The Israeli Juggling Convention -- Day 1

It's lucky for us that we have friends who are more organized than we are!

We thought (ha!) that we would get to the Sachneh campsite early, to pick out a good spot and save space for our friends.  Well, they were there well before we were and luckily they saved a shady spot for us!

There were two clusters of religious families we knew, one on top of the main hill and one off to the side of the main path.  We had friends in both encampments.  We camped with the group off the main road, since we had coordinated with them first.  It was a great little enclave!  We had our tents in a semi-circle, surrounding several machatzalot (large woven mats).  The main coordinator of our group even had a huge awning set up!  Most people brought chairs and there was always someone hanging out at the campsite.

This year, our family knew more about what to expect and we all felt more "at home."

Thanks to my friend from kibbutz, we only schlepped up our clothes and camping equipment.  She organized everything else: food, chairs and stools, mattresses, etc.  I do not know how we would have managed without her!

Everyone really helped set up camp, and we were done fairly quickly.  We did have a few minutes of "why can't my tent be there?"  But when I saw that we were getting "stuck," I just ended those conversations and made a unilateral decision about who would be where.  Once we were set up, everyone was happy.

Our family, and I am including my kibbutz friend in "our family," formed a semicircle within the larger semicircle.  We had 3 tents: one for my friend and I, one for the girls, and one for my son.  We spread out one machatzelet in between our tents and another one in the open, communal space.  Sometimes we ate on our own, and sometimes we joined together with the others.  I think we found a good balance between being focused on our family and being social.

When we got there, I knew the family who coordinated the group, one of the other families, and the kids from a third family (I had never met their dad before). There were two other families in our little enclave, with whom we also really connected. It turns out that one of dads, who came on his own (with his daughter), is triLcat's (LeahGG) husband! What a small world!

To my surprise, some single friends of ours, from Jerusalem, were also there and set up camp just a few meters away from our group.  My kids did not know the other kids who were there, but they did know our friends from Jerusalem, so their presence added to the fun, communal feeling.

I had wanted to go swimming with the kids on that first day, but then my sister called. It turns out she was on her way up north to hike in "Nachal HaKibbutzim" (around the corner from Sachneh, where we were camping!).  I knew that my eldest wanted to do that hike (last year, she was most disappointed about not having gone hiking) and I was not sure that I was up for any hiking.  This seemed like the perfect solution!

I asked my sister if my eldest daughter could join her and my sister was thrilled to have my daughter along.  Both my son and youngest daughter wanted to join as well, but there was not room for both of them.  My son was very generous and deferred to his sister.  He was disappointed about missing the tiyul (hike) with his aunt, but he understood that he would have fun juggling and his younger sister did not really participate in the juggling.

While waiting for my sister to arrive, we went to the Ulam Sport to check out the juggling workshops schedule.

This year, we all knew more about what to expect and we all felt more "at home."

Later that afternoon, my girls went hiking with my sister and I hung out with my son in the Ulam Sport.  Moshe hung out most of the day at the campsite, in the shade, reading a book.

In the end, my sister and the girls ended up going to one of the ma'ayanot (natural springs) by Ein HaNatziv.  They all came back, excited and pleased with how the day worked out.

That night, we all bar-b-qued.  It was fun and yummy!

When the coals burned down, and the marshmallows finished, Moshe and my sister went back to the kibbutz and the rest of us bunked down for the night.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Feeling Loved -- Birthday Wishes

Before we get too far away from my birthday, I just want to thank Ruti for her beautiful post.

http://rutimizrachi.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-birthday-rivka.html

It is so wonderful when you meet someone and just know that you have been, and will be, connected forever.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

It's My Birthday!

I LOVE birthdays!  I always have.

Last Shabbat was my birthday according to the Jewish calendar, and today is my birthday according to the Gregorian calendar.

I have not done anything really special.  But, I am happy knowing that I am celebrating my 44th birthday.

As my father always says, "growing older is better than the alternative!"

Tonight we will be celebrating my nephew's Bar Mitzvah, here in Israel.

In the US, a very special young woman, whose mother I was privileged to know, is getting married tonight.  On this day, that will now always be special for both of us, I want her to know that I am thinking of her and wishing her all the happiness in the world!  (you know who you are!!)

Anyway, like last year, I again have a request for What I Really Want For My Birthday.

I LOVED all the letters I received last year!!  Thank you for sharing your appreciation of who I am, and making me feel loved beyond measure!

This year, please send me your favorite memory of me. 

Feel free to send more than one memory, especially if you have funny memories.

Like last year:
PLEASE be specific. PLEASE share details or examples.

Please send your letter via email.

Please include how I know you -- unless I would know who you are, even if you woke me up at 3:00 in the morning and I was half asleep.

Please take your time. This means a lot to me. So give it some thought.

Like last year, if you can't think of anything, or you don't have time, you are welcome to send expensive chocolates! (or yummy candy!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Beit Natan Winter Retreat (2010) -- Day 1

I woke up, Sunday morning, exhausted.  After we returned from the hospital, the night before, I packed really fast (read: I threw some stuff in an overnight bag).  Needless to say, I forgot to bring all sorts of necessities, like a toothbrush.... (luckily, I did not forget anything that could not be replaced, like my meds).

I hoped to sleep on the busride.  I purposefully sat next to someone I did not know, who looked kind of tired, so that I wouldn't be tempted to shmooze.  Really. 

I should have known better.

My seat-mate seemed so reticent and introverted that I felt obliged to try and make her feel more comfortable.  We talked for a while;  she relaxed and even smiled. 

Then, I went to the front of the bus, to say "tefillat haderech" (prayer for travelers).  Ever since my first retreat, I have been the one to say it on the busrides.  On my way back to my seat, I had to stop and talk with friends.  I mean, seriously, I could not just ignore them!

By the time I returned to my seat, we were almost there. 

So much for sleeping on the bus!

When we arrived, the program started right away:  Coffee and registration;  greetings from Chaya Heller; and an introductory excersize with Jenny and Sarit (I was in Jenny's group). 

Then there was a break.  I would have liked to go swimming, but I was so tired.  I decided to take a few minutes to sleep, even if I wouldn't be able to sleep for long. 

Definitely the right choice, though it was tough to wake up.  I think I only slept for 20-30 minutes.

The first workshop I attended, "Journey Into Yourself," started late.  Fifteen minutes after the starting time, only about 10 out of 30 women were present.  I felt that was enough time to wait and that we had reached "critical mass" (i.e. enough people to start). But the program organizers asked the discussion leader to wait a little longer.  By twenty minutes after the starting time, I started feeling annoyed. 

As many of you know, arriving on time and sticking to a schedule are not easy for me.  Not only had I been exactly on time, but had I known they were going to start late, I could have really benefitted from an additional 20-30 minutes of sleep!

I kept thinking of a shiur I attended recently.  My husband and I were running late, and I felt certain the teacher would wait for us, because we were only a small group, and she knew we were coming.  We arrived only a few minutes late, but she had already started.  This made a strong impression on me.  She demonstrated a serious respect for her time (and the time of her students).  The contrast was striking.

Finally, the leader began the session.  After her introduction, she spread out discussion cards, and we each chose two.  It was very interesting to see the cards people chose and to hear their reasons why. 

I chose a picture of a smiling young girl, looking through a window, with lots of green foliage behind her, and, inside, a lively lizard and two butterflies.  The card evoked in me feelings of joy and youth, love of life, and a connection to my daughters (It's a long story, but the lizard is a family symbol for my eldest daughter).

By the end of the session, I had let go of my feelings of frustration.  There were at least 20 women by then, and I felt I had a chance to start to get to know them.  My connection to these women had begun.

After dinner, Noya Mandel (Hebrew link), a religious female stand-up comic, entertained us.  If you ever get a chance, go see her!  She is funny!!

After the show, several clusters of women hung around, talking. 

Our little cluster was the last group to break up.  My roommate and I headed back to our room and continued talking.  As I mentioned in a previous post, when we dared look at the clock, it was 2:25 in the morning. We agreed that we really should go to sleep. Then, we talked for another 20 minutes, or so!

I suspect neither of us wanted the day to end.
 
 
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Roommates -- Completely Irresponsible!

I need to room with someone boring.

Since I did not get much sleep the night before the retreat, I planned to go to bed early.

I did not plan on spending all night talking with my roommate (MT, from my support group).

One thing led to another, and the conversation just kept flowing....

When we dared to look at the clock, it was 2:25 in the morning.  We agreed that we really should go to sleep.  Then, we talked for another 20 minutes, or so.

The next night, the program ended late and we were determined to go to sleep.

But, like teenage girls, we could not stop talking.

Before we knew it, we had talked well into the night.

When we finally turned out the lights....

4:05 am.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Shiatsu

I wrote this on November 25th, just a few weeks before we left on vacation.  It must have gotten lost in the shuffle, because I see I never posted it.
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By last Wednesday, I was a ball of nerves.  Too much to do and too little time!

I needed to slow down.

I slept late.  Really late.  10:30 in the morning late.

The Rebbetzin came for a visit around 11:00, just in time for my morning coffee.  (OK, I admit it: despite the blog title, I don't regularly drink coffee, not even in the morning.  I am a "social drinker." I only drink with someone else who is drinking.)

I really enjoyed talking with the Rebbetzin.  She still intimidates me, but she is so nice, and so thoughtful.  She brought over a delicious vegetable soup!  We all love soup and her soups are really nutricious and so good!

After she left, I did some chores -- not fun, but they gotta' get done.

Then, my friend, Idit, came over for Shiatsu.

What a treat!!  When she was finished, I felt relaxed and calm, and ready to handle what needed to be done.  What a gift!


--------------------------------------------------------
In addition to practicing Shiatsu professionally, Idit volunteers her services to me and to the Yuri Stern Foundation.

Idit has a wonderful, warm, and relaxing treatment room in her home.
  
For regular treatments or to treat yourself to something special:
Idit Amir
077-757-8949
052-660-8442
Idit Amir amir.idit@gmail.com



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA