Crazy Night, Crazier Day

When I volunteered to coordinate registration for our Barnard alumnae event (last night), I did not realize it was scheduled for the same evening as my close friend's son's Bar Mitzvah celebration.  By the time I realized the scheduling conflict, I had already taken on the responsibility for coordinating the whole event, including the hall, the caterer, etc.  I love coordinating these events, even though it is a lot of work.  I am a people person, and events like this are invigorating for me.

Thankfully, I had made it to the Bar Mitzvah celebration on Shavuot, which was really the main celebration.  Still, I did not want to miss the evening celebration, especially the speaches by the Bar Mitzvah boy and his family (that's my favorite part!). 

The alumnae event was scheduled to end an hour after the Bar Mitzvah celebrations were scheduled to begin.  If the timing worked out, I imagined I could arrive at the Bar Mitzvah celebration not long after it began. Who was I kidding?

Of course, our event ran a bit longer than expected!  And I am slow getting everything packed up!!  I arrived at the Bar Mitzvah celebration almost two hours late!  I was worried that I missed all the important parts. 

I walked in, just as the second speach began.  I actually made it on time!! (almost!)

I just missed the first speach by the Abba.  To my good fortune, he posted his speach on his blog.  Reading it is not quite as good as hearing it in person, but it is a close second.

I had such a good time at both events!  It was after 11:00 pm, when I crashed.  It was the very end of the Bar Mitzvah, and I was sitting with my friend and several other close friends, when a wave of exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had to go home and lie down, NOW!

Within seconds of arriving home, I was in bed, fast asleep.

Everyone was tired this morning.  We all slept late.

My youngest was hours late to school  My middle child decided to take the day off (I did not really approve, but his teacher gave his permission, so I let it go).  And my eldest did not have school so that she could prepare for the math bagrut (national exam) tomorrow.

I will never get used to the Israeli system.

I spent several hours this morning talking with my son, and helping him plan out his morning, so it would be productive.  He decided to learn several chapters of Navi (Prophets), since that was one of the classes he would be missing today.  Of course, he also spent half an hour playing on the computer....

Meanwhile, I went to the hospital for my "pre-op" stuff -- registering for the radiosurgery and a quick MRI.

Again, who was I kidding???

The hospital registration was a beaurocratic nightmare, and the MRI was backed up by over an hour!

Thank God, my friend who accompanied me today, NHC, was really helpful!  Especially when the doctor did not get the needle in the vein on her first attempt, and I was really scared and uptight when she tried again. 

Between the registration, the delay, the needles, and everything else, I was pretty stressed out!

Did I mention that I did not cancel my swimming classes????

As soon as I finished the test, we ran out of there.  I did not even wait to get the CD.  (I will pick it up on Wednesday)

My friend took me straight home, so I could pick up my son and my car.  My son waited outside, with the keys to my car; so, as soon as I got home, we drove off to the pool!

I teach the best kids!  And their parents, God bless them, are so flexible and understanding.  I arrived 20 minutes late for my first class.  (Classes are only half an hour long!)

I ended up combining my first and second classes, and just made the lesson longer.  My son also assisted me in teaching that class.  I could write a whole post about how wonderful it was to work together with my son!

Then I taught my advanced swimmers class, and my son joined that class.  It has been a while since he has been in class and he worked really hard.  I was so proud of him.  And so pleased to see that his form was still good!!

I love my advanced swimmers class.  There are two or three different levels in that class and it is so challenging, but so great.  I really get to push the kids to achieve more than they think they can do.  Every once in a while, I have a lesson where I see that each kid has really made progress.  Today was like that!

I was in such a great mood when I finished teaching.  And I was so excited to have spent such quality time with my son.  In theory, as soon as I got home, I could have gone straight to bed....

In theory..... but not in real life.

Believe it or not, my day did not end there.  (Yes, I am a crazy woman!)

Tonight, Moshe and I attended the first workshop, in a series of 8, based on the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk."  The series is sponsored, and hosted, by Zichron Menachem, so the workshop relates to the impact of having a family member with cancer.  The other families all have kids who have or had cancer.  We are the only family in the workshop with a parent who has cancer.

After the workshop, we had to stop by the drugstore.

By the time we got home, it was close to midnight.

It has been a long, emotionally draining, day!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Barnard Reunion 2007

I LOVED Barnard. It was everything a college should be, with intellectually stimulating classes, dynamic professors, an active student life, a diverse student population, small and personal administrators (who knew me by name), an amazing Judo club (didn't know that about me, did ya'?) and, of course, a vibrant Jewish community.

Was it perfect? No. Did I experience anti-semitism? Yes. Did I have to "fight" for Israel? Absolutely.

But I grew there in every dimension: Jewishly, religiously, intellectually, etc. I was an activist and I was going to change the world! And I wasn't going to do it alone, because at Barnard & Columbia I met people who were going to change the world with me! Together we could do anything!

Well, a few years have passed since then. My love and appreciation for my college hasn't dwindled, but I've become a bit more critical. Since my daughters were little, I dreamed of sending them to Barnard. But recent events have changed my heart. Not once, despite a number of distressing incidents, has Barnard taken a serious stand against anti-semitism or anti-Zionism.

I am extremely disturbed by Barnard's recent decision to grant tenure to Nadia Abu El-Haj. El-Haj denies the existence of ancient Israelite kingdoms in an attempt to delegitimize the modern State of Israel. She dismisses historical and archeological evidence. Her research is not credible and her conclusions are politically motivated.

I am disappointed by the many professors who were silent throughout her tenure process. In an article in the Columbia Spectator, Prof. Alan Segal, who finally spoke out, articulately expresses the academic justification for denying her tenure. But his protests are too little, too late.

If Columbia University approves her tenure, the academic integrity of both Barnard and Columbia will be diminished.

It was against this background, that I planned a reunion for Barnard alumnae in Israel.

Dean Dorothy Denburg (Barnard class of 1970), who was my dean during my first and second years at Barnard, came to Israel on a short personal visit. She graciously made time in her schedule to meet with alumnae, and we were thrilled to host her.

We had a week to plan a reunion and we did it! My friend and fellow alumna, N, gathered a team of volunteers. Together we contacted hundreds of alumnae throughout Israel. The response was incredible. Many alumnae knew the dean from when they were at college. And everyone was excited about reuniting with college friends and meeting other alumnae.

Not surprisingly, a number of alumnae saw this as an opportunity to express opposition to El-Haj's tenure.

I was torn. I wanted this to be a positive event. Yet I didn't want to ignore this pressing issue, especially since El-Haj's tenure hasn't yet been approved by Columbia.

I spoke with Dean Denburg, who agreed that she would address this issue, in addition to sharing with us the many wonderful changes that have happened, and are happening, at Barnard.

The evening went beautifully. We kept to our schedule and there was plenty of opportunity to socialize and enjoy the wonderful atmosphere.

Dean Denburg spoke about many facets of Barnard, the new curriculum, the new buildings, etc. I was swept up by her enthusiasm for the college I love so much.

Somehow, the issue of El-Haj was addressed, and yet not addressed.

As we stood for our group photo, I could tell that there were alumnae who were dissatisfied.

After the photo, I asked everyone to wait a minute so that Paula Stern, who has devoted the last year to publicizing the campaign against granting tenure to El-Haj, could say a few words. But I had opened Pandora's Box and another alumna jumped in.

I had tried to balance the evening, to allow for this important topic to be raised while ensuring that the overall tone of the evening would remain positive. But I felt the warm atmosphere slipping through my fingers as the alumna passionately addressed the group, even as people were walking away.

The evening was drawing to a close and most alumnae clearly wanted to spend the last few minutes socializing. Thankfully, I was able to redirect everyone to the delicious dessert. The brief moment of chaos & discomfort faded into the background. Yet I didn’t want this issue to fade into the background.

I am dissatisfied that the tenure case wasn't presented properly. Alumnae, many of whom are unfamiliar with the issues, were not presented with a clear picture of what is going on. Alumnae need to be informed, in order to get more involved at this crucial time. We need to make our voices heard by Barnard and Columbia; to let them know that we are not just offended -- we are outraged by this travesty.

This isn't about "politics", this is about Barnard and the direction our college is taking both academically and morally.

I love Barnard. But I could not imagine sending my daughters to an institution that considers political correctness a higher value than intellectual honesty and academic integrity. I will always treasure the education I received at Barnard. I hope that one day Barnard will regain that standard of excellence.

Because building new buildings is important, but building a just and true society is an imperative.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Barnard Book Club, Parties & Sleep

I am so tired. It's really quite amazing.

I felt pretty good on Tues (chemo day) and also on Wednesday... until about 1:00 pm. Then I started to crash....

I would have gone to sleep right away, but I had to go to Sha'are Zedek (SZ) for a CT. My friend, NT was able to take me and it was nice to hang out for a while, even though I am sure I was a little fuzzy.

By the time I got home, I crawled straight into bed and went to sleep.

Somehow, I managed to wake up and attend my book club. It was a real effort to wake up, but well worth it. I had finished the entire book (Arthur & George, by Julian Barnes) and was quite eager to discuss it. And I had a great time. I love the book club. The discussions are always interesting, as are the women who attend (all graduates of Barnard).

I once said to my husband, about my book club: it's such a diverse group of women (referring to the various ages and ideologies of the women who attend). He looked at me and said: I see.... you are all women, you all went to Barnard, you are all Jewish, you all made Aliyah, and you all live in Jerusalem.....

Well, we now have alumnae who come from Beit Shemesh, Modi'in and Givat Ze'ev... so there!

It really is a great group of women. And I read books that otherwise I wouldn't have read, so that's good too. Sometimes I feel a little pressured to do my "homework". Especially when I don't enjoy the book so much.... But I've really enjoyd the exposure to alternative literature (in my case, that means anything that isn't science fiction, Jewish historical fiction, or books about parenting).

I must add that I am very appreciative of AP, who gave me a ride there and PG, who gave me a ride home. I was too tired to drive and would not have been able to attend without their assistance.

This morning, I was super tired as well. I woke up. Did a bit of what I had to do. And crashed again. I only woke up because I had to get to the pool.

Swimming classes were great! Then I came home, had dinner with the kids, and tried to accomplish a few other "things-to-do" before leaving for a Chanukat HaBayit (housewarming party).

I was really tired, and my mom suggested I skip the party. But I didn't want to. I am not prepared to give up the things I want to do. If I stay home every time I feel tired, I will miss out on all the good stuff and just be stuck with the bad stuff. That's no good either. I'd rather feel tired and have fun, than stay at home and feel sorry for myself.

The evening began with a bit of Torah Study, which was almost over by the time we arrived. Then there was a seudah (festive meal), during which RS (the husband) gave an amusing d'var Torah and shared all sorts of interesting tidbits about the apartment and its furnishings, then dessert and benching (blessing after the meal). I was really tired and ready to go at this point. But them Moshe got into a discussion with the CLS's (the wife's) father, and we were there a bit longer.... Lo Nora (it's not so bad) -- I hadn't really had a chance to talk with CLS before, so we sat and chatted too. And that was the nicest part of the evening!

Earlier, Y pointed out to me that this would be the third night in a row that I was going out. Good for me!

I haven't been out this much in a long time!

I'm ready to sleep now!

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA