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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Dress -- Part II

This Sunday, one of the topics covered in my shiur (Torah study class) was the prohibition of ta'avot (desires).

I publicly declared that I was in the midst of a major struggle with my ta'avot, regarding The Dress.

Since the previous Wednesday, I could not stop thinking about The Dress. 

I kept thinking of ways to justify the expense:
  • I have not bought myself a new dress in at least ten years. 
  • The price per year is reasonable when it is divided by ten!
  • Though the dress is elegant, it is simple enough so that I can wear it to other smachot (celebrations)
  • I would also wear the dress on chagim (holidays), including Rosh HaShannah. 
But, these calculations would be irrelevant if I gained back the weight I lost.  And, if they put me back on steroids, I could gain that weight back fairly quickly. 

On the other hand, I really do not want to regain that weight. So, it does not make sense to make a decision based on a possibility that I am hoping will not happen.

I decided to ask the store to hold the dress for me, for a day.

When I called the store, the saleslady told me they sold the dress!

My heart plummeted!!

I asked if they could get another dress.

The store owner made a few calls.  Her supplier had another dress in my size and would deliver it to her store.

Then I learned that all the stores at the mall were having a three day stock sale.  On Wednesday, after we left the store, my friend went back and told them about my "situation;" the store owner offered to sell The Dress to me for 1,600 NIS. With the stock sale, The Dress would be 1,326 NIS -- still way beyond my budget, but significantly cheaper than 2,000 NIS!

Meanwhile, the store had the same dress in bordeaux (maroon). I asked a friend, who is a seamstress, to come look at the dress and tell me if she could copy it.  My friend was fairly confident that she could make a similar dress.  Clearly, her dress would not be exactly the same, but it would be close.  We even went to a fabric store and found the same fabric.

I should have felt relieved but, instead, I felt anxious. 

What if she put in all the work and her dress did not meet my expectations?  What if it was not as comfortable?  Or not as pretty?

I needed to decide, because the stock sale ended today.

Yesterday (Tuesday), I spent all afternoon looking for a dress.  I found nothing that fit right.  My body is shaped funny because of the hernia (I actually have two abdominal hernias.  Lucky me.).  So, I really need something that is cut right for me.

I consulted my husband, my mother, my father, and several select friends. 

I wondered if I was crazy for even considering The Dress.

I learned that in Tel Aviv, similar dresses can cost twice as much, or more!  So, what? 

Almost everyone encouraged me to get the dress.  Still, I hesitated. 

I felt torn by my natural frugality versus my extreme desire for The Dress.

Today, on my way home from Beit Natan's Spring Retreat, as I rushed home for a scheduled phone consultation with an oncologist in the US, I did it.

I stopped at the mall, went to the store and paid for the dress (so I could get it at the stock sale price).  I had no time to think, because I needed to get home for the consultation.

I made one more quick stop at the photo shop to get an album for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah.  Because of the stock sale, it cost half the price.

I was in and out of the mall in less than 15 minutes!

I did not have time to think about my decision.

I arrived home just in time to place the call.

Deliberating over The Dress was difficult enough.

Deliberating over my next treatment makes my head spin!

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


Anonymous said...

Good for you! You also got your dream dress and also on sale!! How many dreams get to be realized? You deserve it :)

Anonymous said...

SOOO glad you bought that dress!! What a great tribute to your daughter and her Bat Mitzva celebration.


Bernie said...

I agree you did the right thing when you bought your dream dress. You will look and feel beautiful for your daughter's Bat Mitzva. I am very happy for you.....:-) Hugs

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you!!! You totally did the right thing.

Anonymous said...

Yay!!!!! Good for you. You deserve this splurge. Waiting for you to post a picture of yourself in it so we can kvell.

Nomi Lemberger said...

Good on you! You really do deserve it! Waiting to see you in it at the Bat Mitzwa!

Anonymous said...

Yay! I don't this The Dress counts as a "taava" at all. Your kavanna is clearly to enhance the special occasion of your daughter's bat mitzva. After all, being Jewish and doing mitzvot is something worth dressing up for =)

Anonymous said...

You did the right thing! Titchadshi!


Sarah said...

Now I'm more motivated to WAKE UP EARLY on shabbat to come to the bat mitzvah to SEE THE DRESS! Yay! I'm so happy for you! (and for your daughter, of course!)

Baila said...

Now, the shoes!!! (staammmm)

Is there anyway you can post a picture, I really want to see this thing....

Bee said...

pretty please is there any way you'd let us see a picture???? and look at the number of people you have made happy on your blog, that's got to count as another blessing. You will look fabulous and you will feel so good - I can see that huge smile already. Your daughter is going to be so proud of her mum.

Shelly said...

I am so glad that you bought the dress! Looking and feeling beautiful is a wonderful thing and you really deserve it.

Anonymous said...

Go you, RivkA!!!!! So glad! <3

Leah G said...

Yay! you got the dress. Being a woman and fashion is not always about logic or finance! Looking good IS feeling good. I'm so happy you gave into that instinct (not of desire), but to look like a hot mama at your daughter's bat mitzvah! translation: you are going to look like a million bucks and you only had to spend a thousand some NIS to do so. Seems like a bargain. GO YOU!

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see it!

(Lots of people have been telling me how wonderful I am to have taken you shopping...it must be some other CV who has more fashion sense than me!)


LeahGG said...

Enjoy! And be glad you didn't buy it that first day - you would have paid so much more!

and the above Leah G is an impostor ;)

Rahel said...

Good for you, RivkA! I can't wait to see you in the dress!

Gila said...

Cannot wait to see the dress!!!!

RivkA with a capital A said...

I might have built up all your expectations too high...

I love the dress.

At the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

Batya said...

Wear it frequently, in good health. Enjoy it! That's the most important thing.


ps would you believe word verification is "hanger"

Saul Mashbaum said...

Enjoy the dress, and don't look back. It sounds like a great purchase.

I hope you wear this dress at many s'machot in the coming years.

Ilana said...

As we say in our family - money is for spending!

faith/emuna said...

so glad you bought the dress! echo the bracha that you should wear it at many smachot and chagim.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy the dress! It's wonderful to find something that makes you feel good, especially for a simcha.