Remember the old days, when Mets was just a baseball team?
(not mine, of course. I'm a Yankees fan!)
Welcome to my world, where mets is slang for metastasis.
(my attempt at lightening things up a bit)
I feel a little bad that my posts have been a bit down lately. It's not so interesting to read, day after day, about pain, and feeling sad. It's not so great to be feeling that way either.
Oh well, welcome to my world. (staaaaam*, it's not that bad....)
So, here's what's new.
I asked my doctor how high the markers have to get before we really start to worry.
To my chagrin, he answered: "we're there already."
Between the increase in my markers and in my pain, he is concerned (and has been, for some time).
He's going to look over my CTs again.
From CT to CT, there is no apparent change in my bones. However, perhaps, over time, there might be some evidence of progression of disease. There do not appear to be new tumors. But it is possible that existing tumors have been growing very slowly. Because of the bone drug that I take, it is difficult to tell.
The problem is, if the cancer has been growing in my bones, how should this affect my treatment?
The cancer in my liver and lungs has responded WELL to treatment. As of now, there is no longer any evidence of disease in either my liver or lungs. That is amazing.
If we alter treatments, there are no guarantees.
Maybe another drug will be better for my bones. Maybe not. Maybe another drug will also be effective on my organs. Maybe not. There is no way of knowing in advance.
But we won't deal with this dilemma until we know the facts.
So, for now, I have to wait.
And, as we all know, the waiting is the hardest part. (dating myself with this link!)
"You take it on faith.
You take it to the heart.
The waiting is the hardest part."
(Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers - The Waiting, 1981)
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,
* stam (loosely translates as "just kidding")
#BlogElul 3: Bless
13 minutes ago