A week ago, after swimming, I sat in the locker room combing out my hair.... literally.
As I combed, more and more hair came out in the comb.
It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening.
A few weeks ago, I commented to my oncologist that my hair did not seem to be falling out and, perhaps, I would not lose my hair this time either.
"Don't count on it," he responded, matter-of-factly.
I still have not figured out what I want to do.
I am reluctant to just "shave it all off," since I have met women who did not lose their hair with Taxol.
Some women just lose the hair on their heads; others keep the hair on their heads but lose their eyebrows and eyelashes; other women lose both; some women lose ALL their hair (including the hairs on their arms and legs).
I had always thought that I would be one of those bold women who just shave everything off. You know, the "get them, before they get you" approach.
If I knew for certain that I would lose it all, then that is what I would do. But I don't.
So I am waiting is out. Holding on to what is left. And wondering, if it all falls out, will I ever have red hair again....
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,