Chemo Day -- Chemo Brain

I would like to say that since I only received a half dose of the Fenurgen (super, duper, antihistamine that completely knocks you out!), I was more alert. But.....

That would not be accurate.

Once the drip started, I fought to stay awake and alert.....

I lost.

Again, I am grateful to the two friends (squarepeg613 and NT) who came and took care of me while I slept!

After chemo, I came home, intending to sleep more, but my kids needed me for all sorts of things, for which I did not have the patience!

I really wanted to go to sleep early.

After spending all evening on my kid's stuff, I was just finishing up some last minute details when I ERASED HALF OF MY SON'S CLASS LIST!

I had meant to save the file under a different name but... I FORGOT!!

And you can bet your bottom dollar that I am blaming it on "chemo brain" because I would just feel TOO STUPID to admit that I might have done that even without the chemo!!

Especially because.....

Well.....

Uuhhhh....

Hmmmm.....

OK!

I admit it!

I have made this same STUPID MISTAKE before!!

Now, before you suggest something obvious, like getting the list from someone else, I should explain that I am the one who initiated this class list!

I got tired of receiving class lists consisting solely of kids' names and phone numbers. I mean, how many times can you ask a parent her/his name, before being utterly humiliated by not remembering??

So, I put together a comprehensive, computerized list, consisting of:
Child's First
Child's Family Name
Child's Mother's Name
Child's Father's Name
Child's Home Phone Number
Child's Mother's Mobile Phone Number
Child's Father's Mobile Phone Number
Child's Mother's email
Child's Father's email
Child's birthday

Not to mention the various and sundry additional information, like who is willing to accompany the class on class trips, who is on the class parent's council (va'ad horim), etc.

Because we live in Israel, all this information is BOTH in English and Hebrew!!!

(If I was really good, I would also have it in French. But when I was in high school, my dad convinced me to learn Spanish instead of French because it is more practical. Not in Israel!)

Each year, at the beginning of the school year, I spend significant time and energy updating everyone's information. You might think this would not be so difficult, after all, how many people move each year? But you cannot imagine how many parents keep changing their phone numbers, and mobile phone numbers, and emails, and second emails, and...

You get the picture??

It is so much work, that for several years now, the school distributes MY LIST to the teachers.

Because no one else is crazy enough to put in all that effort!!!

NOW do you understand how stupid I feel??

I had the one and only master copy, with all of this year's corrections and additions!

Only after I had erased the file, did I discover that I had never sent it out to all the parents!

Apparently, I sent out my daughter's class list, but not my son's!

So I spent HOURS, when I should have been fast asleep in my bed, searching through old files and old emails, and doing my best to put together the updated list.... AGAIN!!

And then, when I was finally all done, I emailed the new list, along with a letter requesting that the parents please review their information again and send me, AGAIN, any updates and/or corrections that I might have missed.

So now ALL the parents of the ENTIRE CLASS know just how SCATTERBRAINED I really am!!!

I added two new columns:
Child's Mobile Phone
Child's Email

You think the new requests will fool them into thinking that I am just being REALLY THOROUGH?!?!?!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Less Pain

For the first time in six month, I am taking less pain killers than I was a week ago.

I find myself going for hours at a time with no medication. That hasn't happened for the longest time.

As of a week ago, I was taking two Optalgins and two Algolysins every four hours, and I could barely wait for the next dose. I knew that it would not be much longer before I had to move up to the next level in the world of pain killers (from Algolysin to Percocet).

When I need to take pain killers, I still need two Optalgins and one Algolysin, but even that is less than I was taking a week ago.

I have had only two doses of Taxol, so this is certainly not a definitive indication that the chemo is working.

Still, it is encouraging.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Family Time

For the first time in a month, we were home for Shabbat.

We had not planned to be away for so long, but that is just the way it worked out.

Since we kept going away, much of the weekly tidying up was.... delayed. So, this week, we had a lot of tidying up to do! Thankfully, we had a freezer full of Shabbat meals that friends had prepared, so we could focus on the bare necessities (like clearing off the mountain of papers that had piled up on our Shabbat Table, and the loads of laundry that had piled up on our couches).

It was quite clear that it was good for us all to be home, especially the kids. There was a lot of laughing over dinner. Our kids provided their own unique entertainment by pretending to phone each other with prank calls. Why these things make them laugh so much is beyond me....

Example:
child 1: "ring, ring"
child 2: "hello?"
child 1: "the number you have reached is not available, please try again."
**hysterical laughter**

After a while, even we had to laugh. The ridiculousness of it all was just so funny.

At one point, A's prank calls involved "inviting" pizza. (in Hebrew, the word for "order" is the same as for "invite"). She kept repeating the mistake, even after we corrected her. So, finally, Moshe "called" and said (in a dopey voice) "Hi, I am the pizza, I am here for the party."

It was just so good to laugh and be together.

Towards the end of the meal, I had to lay down and rest. The new drug (Taxol) makes me really tired. I just lay down for "a few minutes" on the couch....

I woke in the middle of the night, and could not fall back asleep. I woke up Moshe (by mistake) and we talked for a while. Eventually, I relaxed enough to fall asleep.

We all slept in, in the morning. Nobody made it to shul (synagogue). I hung out with A for a little bit. Then I had a quiet breakfast with MD. Then MD went to spend some time with A. I woke up Y, who joined me in my room. We hung out in my bed for a while, talking about this and that. I had some time alone with each of the kids. It was good for us to spend the time together.

When Moshe finished davening, we all sat down to lunch. In the middle, I took a short nap on the couch, but I woke up for dessert. (I was going to skip dessert, but the kids persuaded me to stay)

I had such a good time with my family, but I needed to sleep. As soon as lunch was over, I crashed.

By the time I woke up, Shabbat was long over.

Tonight, for the first time in ages, we all sat down to family night Star Trek.

Lately, Y is out every Saturday night with her youth group. She catches up on her own, but it is not the same as watching together. Tonight, we started so late that Y had already returned home.

It was really great watching all together.

This Shabbat, we really spent much needed time together with just our family. It was so good to be together, in our own space, just enjoying each other's company.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Changing Chemo Days

Inasmuch as anyone can like getting chemo, I like getting chemo on Tuesdays. It works for me.

Too bad for me. Tuesdays does not work for my doctor. So, he's moving all his Tuesday patients to Sunday. If not Sunday, then Thursday. Those are the choices.

Sundays or Thursdays.

Yuck!

Sundays, I have a shiur (class) that I love and that I do not really want to give up. Moreover, if I get chemo on Sunday, I will be tired for most of the week.

Thursdays, I teach swimming. And, if I get chemo on Thursdays, I will be really tired over Shabbat.

Tuesdays was good. If I had to lose a day, at least it was in the middle of the week, so I could do things before or after. Though I was always tired after chemo, I worked myself into a routine where Wednesdays and Thursdays were "easy days." Fridays and Shabbat were also fairly low key, with a lot of sleep scheduled in. It might not have been perfect, but it worked for me.

And I built everyone else's schedule around mine.

Now, the deck of cards is collapsing.

Logistically, it would be easier for me to switch to Sundays. I even have someone to pick up my kids on Sundays (If I don't pick them up on Thursdays, they will have to take a bus). But I would be giving up a lot (my shiur, my week). So, I would rather get chemo on Thursdays, even if it means I am extra sleepy on Shabbat.

The problem is that I teach my kids swimming on Thursdays. The prospect of rearranging my kids' schedules makes my head hurt! But one of the main reasons that I teach swimming is so that I can teach my kids!

I have been avoiding dealing with this, but it is not going to go away.

I only have a few weeks, until the end of December.... The new schedule starts in January!

It is so complicated.

I know it won't work, but I like Moshe's solution the best.

Moshe suggested I...

Use The Force.

Doctor: I’m going to have to switch you to Sundays. There’s no way around it.
RivkA: (waving her hand slowly) You don’t need to switch me to Sundays.
Doctor: (glazed look in his eyes) I don’t need to switch you to Sundays…
RivkA: I can stick with Tuesdays.
Doctor: (still glazed) You can stick with Tuesdays…



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Wouldn't You Know....

I can blog.

I can receive email.

I can send email.

I am too tired to do any of the above.

Maybe tomorrow....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Chemo Day -- It Could Always Be Worse!

Can now RECEIVE, but still cannot SEND, email. AAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!
(I'm having a Charlie Brown moment!!)

Quick update of today (will have to catch up another time):

Chemo in the morning -- I cleverly thought to have a friend who can work on her laptop join me and work for most of the time, while I slept. Since there were MANY unforeseen problems today, she ended up being a TREMENDOUS help!! And she still managed to get a ton of work done. (yay!)

TROUBLE with my PORT -- the IV drip wouldn't work. they tried switching the port tubing (i.e. sticking me with another needle), switching the IV tubing, sending my to x-ray the port, etc. All this, AFTER I already received over half the dose of Phenergan and was woozy and sleepy. They kept waking me up!

Eventually, they decided to inject urokinase (blood thinner) into the port. They wanted to do that and then send me home, to come back tomorrow! No way!! I was already doped up, and had completely lost the day anyway. Not to mention that my friend (who it turns out is really an angel!) was available to help me ALL DAY today. Whereas it would be a nightmare to do it tomorrow!!

In my stupor, I tried to convey all this forcefully enough to enlist their assistance -- I did not want to be too forceful (unlikely, since I kept falling asleep in the middle of our conversations).

I guess I succeeded, because some time after they gave me the urokinase, they moved my bed to the regular oncology ward, where the nurses there gave me the preparations and chemo (Taxol). The nurses put me in one of the isolation rooms, so I was there by myself (with my friend).

I did not care where I was as long as I could sleep!!

I woke up around 6:30 pm. My friend managed to find me some dinner (not bad for hospital food!). I was supposed to be at my kids' school for Parent-Teacher night, but I had at least another 10-15 minutes left. *sigh*

I finished chemo at 7:00 pm and my friend drove me straight to my kids' elementary school!! (I kid you not!)

We talked to ALL the teachers who were there, and also the guidance counselor (yoetzet) and the principal. Overall, the kids are doing well!! (more on that another time, b'li neder (no promises))

Then we left the Rova (the Jewish Quarter of the Old City, where my kids learn), at around 10:30 pm, and stopped off at my sister's to pick something up.

Then Moshe dropped me off at home, and he went to work to finish putting my medical files in digital format.

I wanted to go straight to sleep, but MY KIDS WERE STILL AWAKE!! It was ELEVEN O'CLOCK AT NIGHT!!

I wanted to just sing to them, but they were so anxious about what their teachers said.... So I went over what everyone said (good for my kids, not-so-good for me, but still the "right" decision). Then, AFTER MIDNIGHT, I sang everyone to sleep. (Well, not to sleep, but relaxed enough that they all went to sleep without asking to read!!)

Then I had a quick talk with Y, who was having a rough day and just needed someone to listen.

Then, I decided to "just quickly look at my email," now that it was working again... BIG MISTAKE!!

An hour and a half later, exhausted, and out of my mind, I noticed that EVERY SINGLE EMAIL BOUNCED BACK!!!

I give up!!! The emails will wait for tomorrow!

Moshe is still at work trying to make my medical files accessible on the web!!

Did I mention that I have to get up early tomorrow morning????



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

No Internet

Dear Friends:

We have not had internet access since Saturday night, so I haven't been able to blog. Hope to be able to blog again soon.

No news yet. Just tired from chemo.

(Thanks to my husband for typing in this post for me.)

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA