Back to School -- I hope I survive the last week before school starts!!

I LOVE summer vacation!! I wish it lasted four months, instead of two!!

Every year, I promise myself that I will get all their school books and supplies in the beginning of the summer, so that I don't have this crazy, mad rush the week before school starts.

And every summer I have a really good reason why that does not happen.

This summer was no exception!

So, this week had been really crazy, and today was THE CRAZIEST.

Let's start with our eye doctor. Our eye doctor only works one afternoon a week. Both of my older kids had weekly chugim (activities) that afternoon. Since I did not want to make them miss school or their activities, I made them eye doctor appointments for the summer, THREE MONTHS in advance!!

Well, it turned out that BOTH of my kids were away (on seminar or at camp) that week!!

The secretary was wonderful, and helped me reschedule, but I could not get a double appointment! So, I took my son in on Sunday, and my daughter's appointment was this (Tuesday) morning, at NINE O'CLOCK in the MORNING!!

Who wants to wake up at 7:30 AM, during the last week of summer vacation, for an eye doctor appointment?!?!

NO ONE!!!

But, with Moshe's help, I woke up ALL my kids, so that we could go shopping afterwards for school supplies (on that side of town).

You can imagine how much my kids loved that!

God bless them, they all did get up. And though we did not get out of the house on time (FRUSTRATION!!), the doctor did see my daughter and did not lecture us about being late.

Even more incredible, after she saw my daughter, she put drops in ALL of our eyes, since that never seemed to work out before (though we have been seeing her for many years).

The good thing about that was that I can relax, knowing that all of my kids are fully checked.

The bad thing about that was that it took several hours for us to be able to see clearly... and for me to be able to drive.

Next to the doctor's offices, in Givat Shaul, there is a (relatively) new branch of one of the major school/office supplies store. We stopped off there and were able to purchase about 1/3 of the supplies we needed.

Then I took the kids out for lunch -- they let me off easy today, and we just went for falafel at a quaint place, also next door.

By then, my vision had mostly returned, and we went to a general store in Romema for whatever else we could find. The store is great, with a wide range of products and competative prices, but it is across town and I only make it there once a year. This year, apparently, I will have to go back, because a light that we bought for my youngest has a short. (That will teach me not to purchase appliances across town!)

Though we purchased almost all the rest of the supplies we needed, we still did not find everything....

So we went to a THIRD store (a local branch of the first store), in Talpiot.

By this time, I was so exhausted that I actually went to the WRONG mall.

I drove to the mall, WAITED for parking, finally found a parking space, parked, got the kids out, passed through security with all my kids, and only THEN realized that I was in the wrong mall!!

So, we got back in our car and drove around the corner to the correct mall. (Needless to say, I felt like an idiot, but my kids had a good laugh!)

By this time, I was finished! I really just wanted to go home and go to sleep. But the day was yet young....

As I was parking the car (this time, in the correct mall), I realized that, in addition to a few more notebooks, the kids all needed to get a yoman (calendar/diary).

Groan.........

The range of diaries is extensive, as are the prices. Of course, the really fun diaries are not cheap! But I refuse to spend that much money on something that they are going to throw in the garbage at the end of the year. Not to mention that I have children who barely use their diaries at all during the year!! (we won't mention anybody specific, but.... I'm just sayin'!) So, I gave my kids their "budget" and I did not budge. Eventually, they all found something they could live with, within their allocated budget.

With every complaint, I offered them to make up the difference from their own money. Apparently, they also did not want to spend THEIR OWN money that way either.

My youngest, not surprisingly, found something "acceptable" first. More surprisingly, my son found something in almost the same time. My eldest only make her final choice when I gave her a three minutes deadline, after which she would have to come back on her own and purchase whatever she wants with her money. I just could not sit in that store any longer!! (Though I had parked myself on a nice, comfortable, probably orthopedic, office chair!)

My kids do not know this, but I had hoped to take them out for ice cream afterwards. Unfortunately, they took so long choosing their diaries, that we ran out of time!

This (Tuesday) afternoon, we scheduled our annual Gan HaVradim (Rose Garden Park) outing. We almost always do it on the 5th of Av, our son's birthday. But, for obvious reasons (read: The Bar Mitzvah!!), we were too busy this year.

Today was actually the only day we could reschedule it!!

So, when my friend called to say that she was ready to go, we left!

It was really a wonderful way to end the day. I did not have energy for much, but I really enjoyed being there. At one point, I really pushed myself to get up and play Frisbee for a bit. I knew that I would regret it if I did not participate at least a little. We toss a frisbee around every year, and it is great to help the kids and see their improvement over time.

I managed to drive home safely, despite being drop-dead exhausted.

We capped off the day with another fantastic episode of Star Trek.

And, now... I am going to bed!!

Finally!! (and it is not even midnight yet!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

STAR TREK -- Family Star Trek Night -- Double Feature!

Family Star Trek night is "fun for the whole family!"

We all look forward to it -- to spending the time together, to discussing the episode afterwards.

We even have our family "rituals" -- all the kids sit together on the couch, under blankets (even in the summer).

Our "house rule" is to watch an episode every Saturday night, with whoever is at home. In theory, we watch an episode every week. In practice, this has not happened for a while.

If two or more people are not around, whether kids or adults, we usually choose to skip that week. If we go away for Shabbat, we usually come home too late, so we skip that week as well. There are an infinite number of "wrenches" that can be "thrown into the gears," causing our Star Trek expedition to grind to a halt.

Once or twice we have "postponed" Star Trek night and watched during the week. But, for technical reasons (i.e. everyone's busy schedules), that rarely works.

Last summer, Moshe and I anticipated watching extra episodes during summer vacation. Since the kids do not have to get up for school, we let them stay up later. So, at least in theory, we have more nights available for watching Star Trek. Again, in practice, things turned out quite differently than we expected.

Between our "kaytanat ima" (Mom's Summer Camp) activities, which kept us out until late, and our eldest daughter's activities, with kept her out even later, we were rarely home in time to watch Star Trek, even with out more relaxed bedtimes. And, since we visited friends (out of town) almost every Shabbat, we were not even home in time for our "regularly scheduled" Saturday night viewings.

This summer, when I suggested to Moshe that we would watch extra episodes, he skeptically answered, "we'll see...," reminding me "that's what we said last summer...."

Not surprisingly, Moshe assessed the situation better than I. Though we could not have anticipated my need for extra sleep (caused by the radiation), we still had all sorts of "outside" demands surrounding our son's Bar Mitzvah. And, though we did not go away for Shabbatot (with only two exceptions), there were so many other things going on that it just did not work out.

So, this past motz'ai Shabbat (Saturday night), we were all excited to finally get back to watching Star Trek together.

Moshe promised the kids that if they got ready quickly, we would watch two episodes. Sure enough, the kids were sitting on the couch, covered in blankets, quicker than you can blink an eye!

The second episode was a WHAM episode (part of the major arc story), from season three of "Enterprise." Not only was it an EXCELLENT episode, but my eldest daughter "got it" before the rest of us.

The following paragraph is purposefully vague, but might be considered a SPOILER if you are super serious about Star Trek (but somehow have not yet seen all of Enterprise). It does not include any specific details.

******** SPOILER ALERT ********

Less than 10 minutes into the episode, our eldest suspected that what we were seeing was not "real." Five minutes later, the "deception" was exposed. Later, towards the end of the episode, once again, she again questioned whether what we were seeing was "real." Despite having been impressed with her earlier "catch," the rest of us thought that this part of the episode was "really" happening. When it turned out to be an even more elaborate deception, we were all duly impressed with my eldest!

We are truly raising the next generation of Trekkies. (God help them!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

STAR TREK -- Raising a Family of Trekkies (or "And You Thought This Blog Was About Cancer")

When I was a kid, my mother used to watch Star Trek. One night, when I was supposed to be in bed, I snuck downstairs and secretly watched an episode. It was about kids who die when they get older; it was really scary. (When I told Moshe about it, he named the episode, "Miri.") I decided that I did not like Star Trek and did not want to watch it again.

FAST FORWARD

When I was pregnant with our first child, we bought a TV and VCR (You remember VCRs, don't you? They played video tapes.....)

Anyway, at the time, "Next Generation" was showing on TV, two afternoons a week. When my daughter was born, and I was on maternity leave (which I extended for several years), Moshe would call to make sure that the videotape was set to record.

Eventually, I realized that if I had to be there anyway to set the tape, then I might as well watch the show. I considered the experience an "investment" in my marriage. After all, if my husband was so into Star Trek, I might as well become familiar with it.

Now, don't get the wrong idea. It is not as if I did not like science fiction. I did; I just did not like Star Trek. Though I am not as serious a sci fi fan as my husband, when I was in high school, I read plenty of Ray Bradbury, Robert A. Heinlein, and Isaac Asimov. My favorite short story of all time is A Sound of Thunder. (you can read the story online here)

At first, I was not very impressed with Next Generation. But, as time went on, and I also started watching Deep Space Nine, I started getting more into the Star Trek thing.

Somewhere along the way, Moshe and I started watching Babylon Five (B5) together (this is another story in itself). I spent several years arguing that B5 was far superior to Star Trek. At first, Moshe considered that apicorsus (heretical). After all, Star Trek is like the Bible! Eventually, Moshe conceded the point, though he still considered Star Trek kodesh (holy).

What is undeniable is that B5 influenced Star Trek -- B5 showed that audiences will appreciate and follow an arch story, even over several seasons; by proving that a series can develop more than just self-contained individual story plots, B5 fundamentally changed the standard of TV sci fi. As a direct result, Deep Space Nine developed a sophisticated arch story that took that series to a whole new level.

JUMP AHEAD a few more years....

Moshe started "disappearing" on Saturday nights. If the kids were not in bed on time, he would just leave them on their own for an hour. After a while, I discovered that Moshe was going into our room to watch Enterprise!

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Right?

So, I started watching with him.

Even with the two of us getting the kids to bed, we did not always succeed in getting everyone ready before the episode began.

With the two of us engrossed in the show, our kids would stand in the doorway and watch as well. Eventually, we gave up all pretenses of trying to get them to bed once the show started and Saturday nights became, unofficially, Star Trek night.

I think that must be what planted the seeds for what was to become our official Star Trek night.

A year or so ago, Moshe suggested that we watch, as a family, every single Star Trek episode, chronologically.

On the one hand, I thought it was a completely geeky idea. On the other hand, I thought it might be nice to have a regular family activity. I would have chosen a different genre, but I was not going to organize it. This was Moshe's idea, and he made it happen.

At first, the kids were only moderately into it.

Since we did not really watch TV much, and we barely let the kids watch at all, they were happy to watch anything, even if it was not their first choice.

Eventually, they got into it too!

The brilliance of it is that Moshe made a deal with the kids: we only watch Star Trek if they are ready for bed on time. Saturday nights were the most difficult nights of our week. Now the kids come straight home after their Shabbat, eat supper right away and get ready for bed quickly.

I started teasing Moshe that he was/we are raising a family of geeks!

But I have to give credit where credit is due. Star Trek night is the best thing we do as a family.

Together, we curl up, under blankets (even in the summer), to watch and analyze that week's episode.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Busy Week!

Looking at these last few days, one would not imagine that we have been sick or that I am exhausted from chemo....

Wednesday night: Moshe and I went to an excellent local lecture by Machon Meir's Rav Uri Cherki about Yom Yerushalayim -- Rav Cherki spoke about our limitations (space, time, and metaphysical) and how Jerusalem breaks through all those barriers.

Thursday night: Moshe, our youngest daughter, and I went to a film about the fall of the Old City in 1948, followed by a moving talk by Natan Gini, who was 12 years old when he defended his home/community in the Old City in 1948.

Saturday night: Moshe and I attended a fascinating lecture about Nechama Leybovitch by Yael Unterman, who just published a book about Nechama.

Sunday night: We went to Neve Daniel to be Menachem Aveilim (comfort mourners).

Monday night: We plan to be home (for a change).

Tuesday night: We plan to go see the Star Trek movie. Anyone want to join us?

Lest you get the mistaken impression that Moshe waited until now to see it.... I will be seeing the movie for the first time; Moshe went to see it the day it came out. ?אלה מה



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Family Time

For the first time in a month, we were home for Shabbat.

We had not planned to be away for so long, but that is just the way it worked out.

Since we kept going away, much of the weekly tidying up was.... delayed. So, this week, we had a lot of tidying up to do! Thankfully, we had a freezer full of Shabbat meals that friends had prepared, so we could focus on the bare necessities (like clearing off the mountain of papers that had piled up on our Shabbat Table, and the loads of laundry that had piled up on our couches).

It was quite clear that it was good for us all to be home, especially the kids. There was a lot of laughing over dinner. Our kids provided their own unique entertainment by pretending to phone each other with prank calls. Why these things make them laugh so much is beyond me....

Example:
child 1: "ring, ring"
child 2: "hello?"
child 1: "the number you have reached is not available, please try again."
**hysterical laughter**

After a while, even we had to laugh. The ridiculousness of it all was just so funny.

At one point, A's prank calls involved "inviting" pizza. (in Hebrew, the word for "order" is the same as for "invite"). She kept repeating the mistake, even after we corrected her. So, finally, Moshe "called" and said (in a dopey voice) "Hi, I am the pizza, I am here for the party."

It was just so good to laugh and be together.

Towards the end of the meal, I had to lay down and rest. The new drug (Taxol) makes me really tired. I just lay down for "a few minutes" on the couch....

I woke in the middle of the night, and could not fall back asleep. I woke up Moshe (by mistake) and we talked for a while. Eventually, I relaxed enough to fall asleep.

We all slept in, in the morning. Nobody made it to shul (synagogue). I hung out with A for a little bit. Then I had a quiet breakfast with MD. Then MD went to spend some time with A. I woke up Y, who joined me in my room. We hung out in my bed for a while, talking about this and that. I had some time alone with each of the kids. It was good for us to spend the time together.

When Moshe finished davening, we all sat down to lunch. In the middle, I took a short nap on the couch, but I woke up for dessert. (I was going to skip dessert, but the kids persuaded me to stay)

I had such a good time with my family, but I needed to sleep. As soon as lunch was over, I crashed.

By the time I woke up, Shabbat was long over.

Tonight, for the first time in ages, we all sat down to family night Star Trek.

Lately, Y is out every Saturday night with her youth group. She catches up on her own, but it is not the same as watching together. Tonight, we started so late that Y had already returned home.

It was really great watching all together.

This Shabbat, we really spent much needed time together with just our family. It was so good to be together, in our own space, just enjoying each other's company.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Peaceful Shabbat

We had a quiet Shabbat.

Only MD was home.

It was nice to have a chance to spend some time just with him.

I thought we would play more, but all of us slept after lunch, for a LONG time.

A went to her cool Aunt's for Shabbat.

They also slept for a LONG time.

It was one of those Shabbatot.

Y was gone since Thursday. She went, with her school, for a three days "seminarion" (weekend seminar).

For half an hour after Shabbat, we lived in the Twilight Zone -- we still felt slow and peaceful.

Then, almost in an instant, things switched back into high gear.

Moshe picked up A.

Then, A and MD had to get ready for bed, including getting all their things ready for school the next day. If they were quick enough, we would watch Star Trek.

Y called to make sure we (read: Moshe) could pick her up as soon as she got back to her school.

Even though Moshe would have to leave in the middle to pick up Y, we started watching Star Trek. (If you know us, you know that this is actually a big deal. A big part of the "experience" is in watching together!)

Ten (okay 12) minutes before the episode ended, Y called.

Moshe left; the kids and I finished watching Star Trek.

A few minutes later, Y blew through the door, distributed hugs and kisses to all, then flew back out the door, to go to her youth group, 'cause she "missed them too."

It was 10:30 pm on Saturday night.

What about going to sleep? Not to worry, the girls convinced the principal to cancel school tomorrow -- after all, what would they learn in one day? (No school this week from Monday through Wednesday, because of Rosh HaShanah)

Y was gone... again.

Moshe sang to A & MD. Then, despite having napped all day, the kids fell asleep right away.

Once again, the house was quiet.

Moshe and I watched the end of Star Trek.

Aftewards, we watched Jericho (post-apocalyptic TV series, brilliant, complex).

I don't usually like to watch two TV shows in one night. But there were only two episodes left of the second season, and I couldn't resist.

Y breezed back in, at some point, and went straight to bed.

Moshe and I finished watching the second to last episode.

In the quiet hours of the night, we analyzed the episode, focussed on a far away, stormy, and imaginary, world.

As we settled in for the night, our home felt safe and secure, and peaceful.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Coming Soon: Our 15th Anniversary!

We had a wonderful Shabbat!!

Thanks to all who made it possible!!

I wanted to post about it tonight, but Shabbat ends late, we took our time packing up, there was crazy traffic on the way home, and, when we finally did get home, we did not want our time together to end (the kids are not coming home until tomorrow), so we watched some cool stuff on the DVD (OK, I admit it, we watched more stuff from the film "Trekkies." But, hey, we like that stuff.)

Anyway, now it is just too late.

Shavua Tov!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Precious Moments

Y has a big test in Navi (Prophets) coming up.

(Actually, she has many big tests coming up and she is studying ALL the time).

Moshe spent all afternoon studying Yirmiyahu (The Book of Jeremiah) with her.

By the end of Shabbat, Moshe & Y had only covered about half of the material.

A discussion ensued about whether or not to watch Star Trek tonight.

A while ago, we established an "official policy" that, even if someone would miss out, we would show Star Trek to whoever was home/available. The person/people, who missed it, could watch the episode during the week.

Y was not happy about the prospect of missing Star Trek.

As she was making her case, MD came over and quietly stated that he did not want to watch Star Trek if Y wasn't able to see it.

His gentle but determined support of his sister engendered respect and appreciation.

Almost as if he felt he had to justify this unconditional generosity, MD explained that last week, when Moshe helped him prepare his "Bamah Ishit" (Personal Project) about Lag B'Omer, we all postponed watching Battlestar Galactica. MD felt it was only fair to extend the same courtesy to Y.

Whatever the reason, his devotion to his sister filled me with parental pride.

God bless my children! May they always be so attentive and caring about each other!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Less Pain

The Star Trek episode was great.

The back pain is not so bad anymore.

No need for the ER.

I still plan on taking drugs to help me sleep. But Acamol (the Israeli equivalent of Tylenol) should do just fine.

Shavua Tov.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

New Pain

My back hurts.

It's been hurting on and off for a week or two (maybe more). It hurt enough that I knew I should mention it to my doctor, but not so much that I remembered right away.

My oncologist was out for a while, and I didn't want to disturb him. I figured most things could wait.

I saw him briefly this past Sunday, when I went in for chemo (I postponed the previous Tuesday’s chemo to Sunday, so I could go away on the Beit Natan retreat). So, during my five minutes with the doctor, I mentioned the back pain. My back didn’t hurt that much at the time, so it was just one other item on my list.

On Wednesday night, my back hurt a LOT.

The kind of pain that makes you want to cry. (but not so bad that you actually cry)

I took some drugs and went to sleep.

Thursday morning it still hurt, but not as much.

Still, I knew that I should let my oncologist know that the pain was increasing.

Finally, on Thursday night, I sent him an email.

I received the following email in response:

WE NEED TO DO A CT AIMED SPECIFICALLY AT THE BACK IN THE AREA OF THE PAIN. IF IT GETS A LOT WORSE EVEN ON THE WEEKEND GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

SHABBAT SHALOM

Now I was worried.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate going the emergency room? The only thing worse than going to the emergency room, is going there on Shabbat. Once the life-threatening concern is over, you are stuck there, missing Shabbat with your family. YUCK.

Of course, you can walk home. But given my back pain (new), my hip pain (old), and my ankle pain (arthritis), I knew that I wouldn’t be up for an hour and a half walk home. So, in short, I’d be stuck there. YUCK.

And, given that this past Shabbat was my mom’s birthday, and she’s only here for one more Shabbat, I really didn’t want to miss out on Shabbat with my mom and my family.

I wrote back and forth a few times with my oncologist, and then the phone rang. He decided that it would be easier to clarify the situation with a conversation.

Have I mentioned how much I appreciate my oncologist?

It turns out that I didn’t have to be worried, but I did have to be aware of the back pain, and maybe go to the ER for a CT. Not the best, but not the worst either. I could go on Friday, early.

If the pain continued to increase, I would have to go. I prepared myself to go on Friday morning. But Friday, the pain wasn’t so bad. And there was a lot to do to prepare for Shabbat.

On Shabbat, I had pain from sciatica. Not fun, but not cancer. So I suffered, but didn’t feel the need to go to the ER.

Now it’s Saturday night, and I have more serious back pain again.

But, in Israel, Saturday night in the ER is a ZOO!

And you spend hours just sitting around waiting. And sitting is not so comfortable for me right now.

So, even though I should probably go, I’m just lying down and resting.

Soon I’ll take some drugs and go to sleep.

After Star Trek.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Like Father, Like Daughter II

"Do you think we should watch Star Trek tonight?" I questioned Moshe, "We won't get home until close to 9:00..."

We had a wonderful Shabbat at Moshe's parents, but we were slow to leave, and the kids still hadn't eaten supper.

"It's a powerful motivator, for the kids to get ready quickly," Moshe replied.

I couldn't argue with that.

Uncertain about what in our cupboard could be prepared & eaten quickly, I suggested we pick up a pizza on the way home.

Done.

We settled in to watch "Cold Front", which continues a major arc story.

As the episode neared its end, Y protested: "it can't end here, the story isn't over!"

But the episode was, and Moshe quickly ushered the kids to bed.

As he was about to sing them to sleep, Y thanked Moshe for the pizza and Star Trek.

"Pizza and Star Trek," Moshe repeated, "what can be better than that?"

To which, A suggested: "What about coke and air conditioning?"


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA