Call Me Crazy -- I'm Hosting a Women's Megillah Reading TONIGHT

Here's how it happens....

Four years ago, a year after we moved into our neighborhood, I figured I was "established" enough to organize a women's reading.  My biggest challenge would be finding a place to do it.  My house was a disaster zone (still piled high with boxes from moving), so there was no way I could host.

I had no idea who, in this open, but relatively conservative, neighborhood, would be willing to host.

Then, I mentioned it to the woman (IA) who, at that time, was organizing our Shabbat women's shiurim (classes).  To my surprise, she was totally into it and offered to host.  She even owned a Megillah!! 

She also suggested that we all bring something light to eat and hang around afterwards to sing and eat.  I thought that might be overly ambitious, but she was so excited about the idea that I had to agree. 

That first year, I was worried that no one would show up, besides the three of us: our host, my friend (TS) who would be reading most of the Megillah (everything, but the one chapter I read), and me.

I need not have worried.  About 12 women showed up!!

The next year, we decided to do it again.  The second year, my friend (TS), read the entire Megillah.  I LOVE her reading!  She is precise, acts out the parts (with voices) and is diligent about reading correctly.  She now has a PhD in Lashon (Hebrew Language), which she was working on then; she wrote her doctoral thesis on Ta'amei HaMikra (cantillation or trope).  So, having her read for us is always a real treat!

The third year, our lovely hostess could not host us.

I did not know what to do.  I could not find another enthusiastic host.

In the end, I realized if I wanted a local women's Megillah reading, I would have to host it. 

I was so anxious about both the change in location and the state of my home.  I had a bit more energy, but not enough. 

My eldest daughter saved the day!  She was highly motivated and, quite literally, transformed our apartment.  (Much of the clutter was still there, but so cleverly camouflaged!)

On Purim night, my living room was packed!  We had to set up extra chairs in our dining room!

For the third year in a row, my good friend (TS) read the Megillah for us.

Doing something three times is a "chazakah" (establishes a pattern).  I felt like we could do this forever.

Then, our phenomenal reader (TS), was offered a post-doc in Toronto!!

So, this year, I had to find other readers. 

I had wanted to try to involve as many women as possible in the reading.  In the end, I only had 4 readers, and one dropped out at the last moment.  I did not have enough time or energy to look for more readers.  I was not even certain I even enough of a desire, or the motivation, to get it together this year.

I did not know, until last Friday (two days ago), whether I could pull this off. 

I would have not been able to do it without two other phenomenal readers, ABC and RJ, who are each reading 4-5 chapters!  Both of these women are also very precise in their readings, and I know I can count on them to read well!

Since I was focused on finding readers, I never bothered to find an alternative host.

I had mixed opinions about hosting this year. 

On the one hand, it is best to have a permanent place, so people know where to go.  I would love my home to be that place.

On the other hand, our house is still not put together.  I had really wanted to get it together (at least in the "public" zones) for Purim, but it just did not happen.  To make matters worse, we just got a new (used) fridge, but we have not yet sold the old one, so we currently have two refrigerators in our kitchen!

When it came down to making a decision, it was "my place" or "no place."

So, what could I do?

"What would you do, if your mother asked you?"*


You are welcome to join us!! (women/girls only)  The more, the merrier!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

* Do you know who asked this question??  Just answer "yes" or "no."  There are surprises yet to come!!

Shabbat Shiur

One of the really special things about my neighborhood is the warmth and openness of the residents.

Nowhere is this more evident than at the weekly shiurim (Torah study sessions) for women on Shabbat.

Each week, a different woman from the community prepares a shiur (session). The women come from diverse backgrounds and each shiur gives us an opportunity not just to learn Torah, but also to get to know the women who live in our community.

Every week, around 30 women (sometimes more) gather together to hear the shiur. Often, there is group participation and sometimes the discussion continues even after the shiur has ended.

Despite all our differences, everyone is respectful of each other. There are women who possess tremendous knowledge of Torah and women whose knowlege is based mostly on folklore. There are women who are academics and women who are "dosim" (from a frum (religious) background, in which secular education is devalued). There are women who are young and old, religious and not so religious, intellectual and spiritual, conservative and liberal, right wing and left wing. There are women from every angle of the dati-leumi (religious Zionist) spectrum, and those who are from completely different worlds. Everyone is welcome.

And yet, no one berates anyone else's background, even when they disagree with their opinion. And no one skips a shiur because the person giving the shiur is "not her style."

I LOVE attending these shiurim.

When I moved to Homat Shmuel (a.k.a. Har Homa), I realized that going to this shiur would be the only way for me to really meet women in our community. My kids were too old for me to "hang out with the moms" in the park or to meet moms in the local school. (My kids were too old to enroll in the local school, with the exception of my youngest. However, it did not make sense to enroll her in a different school from her brother and sister, which would result in my having to pick up kids at the same time from two very distant locations!)

So, from the beginning (when we moved in), I regularly attended the shiur. Then, with all the surgeries (two years; three surgeries), my attendance dropped. Still, I went whenever I felt I could.

All that ended two years ago, when I started chemo. I just stopped going. I am too tired. I have to sleep on Shabbat. In fact, I have to sleep A LOT.

The result is that I feel rather disconnected. Whenever I meet women from the shiur, they ask why I do not come anymore. Often, they include a compliment about missing my input (I often comment or ask questions). Typically, I just smile, say how much I miss the shiur, and explain that I am usually resting during that hour.

More than that, I feel like I have not really integrated in the neighborhood as much as I would have expected.

Don't get me wrong. It is not like I am isolated. I know a lot of people here and have several good friends; but I had expected to be much more involved, both in our shul (synagogue) and in the community at large (such as participating in local municipal committees, which I did even before the neighborhood was built!). I just cannot commit to being active on a committee when I can barely keep things together in my own home (and barely is an understatement!).

I also had visions of organizing women for some sort of women's tefillah group, like Shirat Sara (my women's tefillah group in Talpiot). The closest I have come to that dream is hosting a women's megillah reading on Purim.

Recently, a friend told me about another women in the neighborhood who is also very into Jewish religious feminism. I actually met her in shul once, and had a very interesting conversation with her (it turns out that she was running the hadracha (informal education) department at Melitz when I was working there, oh, so many years ago....).

Anyway, when I saw that this woman was delivering the shiur this past Shabbat, I decided that I would make every effort to attend.

I almost missed it.

I forgot to ask Moshe to wake me in time.

Lucky for me, Moshe finished learning with our son "just in time" and woke me as he was getting ready for his Shabbat nap. It was five in the afternoon, just the time that the shiur begins.

I was about to roll over and go back to sleep when Moshe asked "Didn't you just say that you want to go to the shiur?"

That was all the "push" I needed. I forced myself out of bed, quickly got dressed, and walked as fast as I could to the shiur.

It was worth it.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Purim -- The Final Chapter

I have a post that comes before this one chronologically. However, since it is primarily about my daughter, I want to get her approval before posting.

-----------------------------------------------------


After Megillah reading at my daughter's school, we raced home to prepare mishloach manot (food baskets that are delivered to friends).

In past years, we did a lot of the prep work the day before (on Purim day, as opposed to on Shushan Purim). This year, on Purim day, I took one of my kids to a specialist (everything is fine -- it was just an opporunity to make the appointment without the kid needing to miss school).

So we were even less organized than normal, which is quite a feat, since we are not that organized to begin with!

I was anxious to get everything ready, because we were on a tight schedule. Moshe noted that I seemed a little stressed and suggested that I try to relax a bit more. As if on cue, my eldest daughter announced "Ima, it is so much fun preparing mishloach manot with you!!" (sometimes, if you are very lucky, your kids say exactly the right thing, when you need to hear it the most!!)

Friends started knocking on our door before we were ready! Had we had our mishloach manot ready, we could have given them on the spot, saving ourselves a few stops when we finally went out to deliver....

We were under pressure, because we were invited to a brit (brit milah -- ceremony welcoming a newborn Jewish boy into the Jewish community), and we really wanted to arrive on time.

We had only delivered about a third of our mishloach manot when I had to inform the kids that we would not have time to deliver all of the mishloach manot we had prepared.

At that point, my youngest piped up, challenging, "Whose brit is this anyway?" Clearly, attending the brit of someone she did not know did not interest her.

I tentatively offered the children another option. "Would you like to deliver more mishloach manot by foot and then join IS and her family for Purim Seudah?" (the festive Purim meal)

As one, the children vehemently responded, "Yes!"

When I had discussed this option with IS, she was certain that the children would rather be with us. I was not nearly as sure. Perhaps my instincts were correct, or perhaps it was just that important for my kids to deliver their mishloach manot. Either way, they were happy to walk around together and to have their seudah with their friends.

Even with the greatest of intentions, they could not deliver all the mishloach manot. So, later, when we picked them up, we delivered most of the remaining mishloach manot. (better late, than never...)

We still have a few that never made it to their destination. That happens to us almost every year.... *sigh* One year, I will be more organized!! (b'li neder!!)

Maybe tomorrow I will post this year's maskanot (the lessons I learned).

In any case, at the end of the day, we all had a wonderful Purim.

As they say in the Holy Language:

!היה טוב, וטוב שהיה

Haya tov, v'tov she'haya! (literally: "it was good, and it is good that it was," meaning: it was good while it lasted, but I am glad it is over!!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Purim -- Megillah Reading -- Part III

Each year, I get a little smarter.

I stayed home on Purim night, and went to bed at a reasonable hour, so I woke up well on Purim morning.

On Purim morning, not only do I have to arrive on time for Megillah reading, but I also have to help everyone with their costumes. This year, I had it pretty easy. I just had to make up A's face (white face, contrasted with very RED lips).

Y, my daughter, also wanted me to check her reading, as she practiced one last time. She read well. We were ready to go.

We arrived, right on time, at my daughter's school. There was even parking! (YAY!)

My daughter was reading the second half of tet (the ninth chapter), which is all the way at the end. It did not occur to me that this would give my daughter ample time to develop stage fright.

Of course, she had chosen to sit with her friends (instead of her boring old mother...), so I had no clue. (Actually, she was sitting with her madrichot (youth group counselors) who came to hear her read, and she was being a gracious hostess)

The other girls read well; one or two read particularly well. I was confident that Y would read at least as well.

I did not realize just how nervous she was until she started reading.

My daughter, who read so loudly and clearly at her Bat Mitzvah, read soooooo q-u-i-e-t-l-y. I was worried that people would not hear her. Thankfully, though the auditorium was packed, everyone could hear every word.

Y read her reading flawlessly. All the repetitions and the work at home paid off.

I was so proud of her!!

As soon as the reading was over, I told her what a good job she did!! She smiled so sweetly.

Then I mentioned that she did not read as loudly as she had when she practiced at home and I wondered if she was nervous.

She looked at me, her eyes wide and serious. "I was shaking!" she admitted.

Probably, nobody else could tell. But I knew how wonderfully she was capable of projecting her voice. I had heard her practicing.

Y justified her nervousness, quite matter-of-factly, as she explained that she spent almost a full year learning for her Bat Mitzvah parsha (portion) and only one week learning her Megillah reading.

I missed the opportunity to emphasize that she might have started preparing in earnest a little bit earlier. But I did not want to be too critical. Even if she had started preparing earlier, she only had about two and a half week's notice, and she had never even learned Megillah trope (cantillations). I wanted her to feel good about what she accomplished.

She really did an amazing job!

Later, one of my friends told me that Y's voice was sounded trained. My friend, who does not know my daughter well, said that when she heard the beautiful voice, she looked up and, only then, recognized my daughter.

Years ago, Y's choir teacher told me that Y has a very beautiful and distinctive voice.

I do not know much about voices, but I love listening to her sing.

I am so happy that she is using her voice for the good of her community.

I might just have to go hear her again next year....




Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Purim -- Megillah Reading -- Part II

My kids really helped get the house in order!

We were even ready a full half hour before we were scheduled to start!!

So, when women started arriving early, I was relaxed and able to sit around shmoozing!

We had a really nice turnout!! Almost 20 women and girls were here. (there were three more, but they left when they realized a woman was reading Megillah... their loss!)

As always, TS read really well!! I had a lot of fun listening to her!

After everyone left, my youngest daughter told me "it was really nice; kol hakavod!" (good job!)

I asked her if it was worth all the effort and, without hesitation, she answered "yes!"

I agree.

I am already looking forward to next year!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Purim -- Megillah Reading

Women! Come one, come all!!

I am hosting a women's Megillah reading at my home on Tuesday night. (We live in Jerusalem, so we celebrate Purim on Shushan Purim, one day later.)

This is the third year that I am organizing a women's reading in my neighborhood, Homat Shmuel, but the FIRST year that I am hosting it in my home.

My home is not neat and orderly (to put it mildly), so I was embarrassed to host. But the woman, who hosted in the past, can't host this year. And, since this is really my baby, I decided that it really made the most sense to host it in my home.

So, with the help of a friend, we placed an announcement in Al Homotaich, a local weekly magazine.

In shul (synagogue), this past Shabbat, I invited everyone I thought might be interested! Many had already seen the invitation in Al Homotaich. I hope I created enough of a buzz....

We have the privilege, for the third year in a row, to have my friend, TS, read for us. She is an amazing reader, exacting in both nikud (pronunciation) and ta'amei hamikra (cantillations), and she also does voices! How fun is that?!


----------------------------------------------------


Originally, as some of the long-term blog readers know, I wanted to organize an additional morning reading. I would have broken up the reading by chapters and I would have read a chapter as well.

Just as I was starting to plan the morning reading, my eldest daughter announced that she was reading half of tet (the 9th chapter) in her school on Purim morning!

"But you don't know how to read Megillah!" I responded, confused as to how she could volunteer for something she does not know how to do.

My daughter smiled sweetly at me and asked "Can you teach me?"

In two weeks?!?

How could I say 'no'?

She already knows how to read Torah, and she is quite musical, so it was just a matter of helping her learn a new melody.

With more than a little help from TS, my daughter is ready to read on Purim morning.

I am so proud.

At first, I deliberated about what to do on Purim morning. It did not help that my daughter kept telling me that I did not have to come to her reading.

"I know I do not have to come," I reassured her, "but don't you want me to come?"

To my chagrin, my daughter was perfectly fine with me doing my own thing at home.

But I really could not imagine missing the first time she reads Megillah.

So, despite her cavalier attitude, I decided that this year I am going to hear her read Megillah at her school.

Hopefully, next year, I will organize a morning reading in my home.

Though, who knows what surprises might wait around the corner....

PURIM SAMEACH!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Only Good Things

I want to share with you what happened today at chemo, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

I am so tired. My plan for the evening was to blog and go to sleep.

But then I decided to sit with the kids for supper, which was REALLY nice. No one bickered or complained. We just sat around talking. It was really pleasant. (It is nice to know that can actually happen every now and then!)

Then Moshe called to see if it was okay with me if he went again (for the THIRD time) to the international book fair. He really wanted me to join him, but I was too tired. I would have liked him to come home and put the kids to bed, but then he would get to the fair too late. So I told him to go and have a good time. (For Moshe, going to the book fair is like letting a kid loose in a candy shop. Not to mention that Moshe ALWAYS encourages me to go out and do whatever I want. So how could I say no??)

After dinner, while the kids were doing their chores, I sat down to blog. Y, who has already finished her chore, notices me writing on the computer. She flashes me those puppy dog eyes that melt my soul, and cajoles "Aren't you going to teach me to read Megilla tonight?"

I vaguely remember putting her off already, at least twice. I realize that I must have, in a moment of insanity, offerred to teach her Megilla tonight. I realized I could not say no to her either.

I took a deep breath, smiled brightly, and said "Of course I am!"

After the kids got ready for bed, MD went to do homework on the computer, A went to clean her room, and Y & I sat on the couch and started learning.

It was really fun learning with her. She already knows how to read Torah, and she is very musical, so she caught on quickly to the new t'amim (notes). I did not remember all of the t'amim so well, so we put in a few calls to TS, who graciously sang the notes over the phone.

At 9:20, I gave 5 minute notices to all concerned. And at 9:25, I asked Y to put everyone to bed.

Y was so happy about our learning together, she did not even protest. Aderaba (just the opposite), she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, "you're the best!"

Then she discovered that I had mended one of her favorite Shabbat skirts. (I have been catching up on my sewing during chemo -- more on that another time here) She was SOOOO HAPPY!! She gave me another hug and whispered in my ear, again, "you're the best!"

So while Y put her siblings to bed, I tidied up the kitchen counters (which are STILL clear and clean, 10 days and counting!!).

So, now you understand why I just cannot stay up and write any more.

Last night I was in bed by 10:00 (way early for me!) Tonight, it's 11:00 (still pretty early for me; I kid you not) and I have been ready to go to sleep for hours!

It was a long, challenging day, but it ended so great!!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love my kids?!?!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA