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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Unspoken Code

Jennifer Coy (http://www.mylifeline.org/coy/) wrote, in her post "Done" (11/22/09): 
"I don't often meet others who are stage IV so we talked lightly, asking the safe questions until we discovered our shared situation. Stage IV has an unspoken code not to tell other cancer patients our situation outright. No one who is a rookie or who is having a recurrence wants to meet or hear about someone who is facing their worst fear: the cancer that keeps coming back and spreading to other organs, brains, bones. We know talking with us won't make them feel encouraged or hopeful. We are the ultimate party killers."
This is how it is for me too.  When I meet other cancer patients, we do this dance, with me trying to assess where the other person is, so that I can figure out what to share and what not to share.

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


Liba said...

Hugs to you.

You don't have to dance around with me. I am in my own space, right beside you. You won't scare me, though I may make you laugh.

Batya said...

I pray for miracles and refuah shleimah for all of you.

Ilana said...

Thank you for sharing that. It was powerful.

RivkA with a capital A said...

Liba -- I'm not going to "dance around" you -- I am going to dance WITH you!! That is, if I can laugh and dance at the same time!

Batya -- amen!

SquarePeg -- I thought so too. I'm pleased that you appreciated it.