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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Separation Anxiety

I am away… again!

In past years, the La Leche League Israel leaders conference has been in May, after Pesach. This year, it is now, today (Tuesday)…

… and tomorrow (Wednesday)…

… less than a week since I came home from the 3 day Beit Natan winter retreat. (… which is always in the winter. Duh.)

I had thought there would be at least a week in between, when I would be home.

I was confused…

… not for the first time.

I feel a little guilty about leaving my family again, so soon.

… but only a little.

The kids are big and barely home. Especially on Tuesday evenings, which, in Israel, is THE day when ALL the youth movements meet.

There is food in the fridge, and the freezer (made by friends, of course).

And my DH is perfectly capable of taking care of anything that might come up.

OK, so last night, two of my kids did not feel well. And, today, my son stayed home from school with a fever. But he is not so sick that he cannot sit and play Runescape. This way, he does not even have to share the computer with me; he really can spend all day on the computer.

OK, so maybe the guilt is a little compounded by the fact that I left a sick child at home. But really, he’s fine. And if he’s not, then my husband can take care of him.

I have to trust that they can manage without me.

Why is it so hard?

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


michele said...

I think guilt is built into the role of mother, so you should be especially proud of yourself for not letting it ruin your outing. In addition to what you're gaining from the conference, I'm certain there are less-experienced women who are benefiting from your experience and expertise.

Karen said...

We all want to believe that our families cannot possibly manage without us, but they really can. Certainly for a night or two. They may not do things exactly our way, but the house will still be standing and the kids won't have any weird infections when you get back. Have fun.

mikimi said...

ditto what they said - and i hope you had a great time.

Anonymous said...

now that you posted it and you made the proper motherly guilt noises ,i have only 3 words to add,get over yourself,loonytunes

RivkA with a capital A said...

Michele -- the nicest element of the conference is that we all learn from each other.

Karen -- the house is still standing, but the laundry and the dishes have certainly piled up!

Mikimi -- ditto

Loonytunes -- no mercy?!

Anonymous said...

When I visited your home unexpectedly the day after this post, he was fine - reasonably dressed, and had made himself some food (he was nuking some corn on the cob when he let me in.) Runescape was on the computer, of course (at least there was a fantasy game - I didn't bother trying to find out which one,) but he wasn't just hanging around in P.J.s eating junk food while playing games - he had stepped away and fixed himself food. While I was there he ate in the kitchen and talked to me.

Don't worry, Mama, the boychik is growing up. :)

- E

RivkA with a capital A said...

E - thanks for the positive feedback! it's good to know.