Vacation -- Anticipation and Excitement

A blogger described an upcoming vacation and received this comment:
"Thanks!  I need new furniture!"
So, I am posting this three days after I wrote it, as we are already on our way back home!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am so excited!

We NEVER go away the week before Pesach! 

Like most Jews, that is our busiest week of the year, filled with cleaning, sorting, cooking, and all sorts of "things to do!"

I know a few people who vacation during that week.  I am in awe their ability to be so organized and put together!  They leave for vacation, knowing their home is already ready for Pesach, a WEEK in advance!!

I could never get it together that early.  On the other hand, wouldn't it be nice.....

Well, this year, we are doing it!  We are going away for three days, during the week before Pesach!

If it were just my vacation, I would totally camp out on the beach! But Moshe does not like camping and he does not like the beach!  So, when I found out we could "piggy back" on our friend's time share (haver mevi haver), we made reservations to stay at the Club Hotel with our friends. It is a five star hotel and we would have a full suite to ourselves for only 700 NIS ($175) per night, for two nights.

Then we found out that the deal did not include breakfast.

Since I do not eat much, that did not deter me, even though I love hotel breakfasts. The lack of a hotel breakfast did bother my family, especially Moshe. 

The cost of adding breakfast was outrageous (about 200 NIS, or $50). We could buy fresh bread, cheese and vegetables for a fraction of that amount!

I decided to contact the youth hostel, which was next door to the hotel. Rooms cost 521 NIS ($130) for youth hostel members (you can purchase a family membership,for just 50 NIS ($12.50), when you check in), and includes breakfast. We would all bunk in one room, with two bunk beds plus a cot.

No pool, no slides, no microwave in the room. Those "extras" did not really interest Moshe.  Since we planned to be out and about during the day, they did not matter to me either.

Both places include air-conditioning (a "must" for Moshe) and a mini refrigerator (not a "must" for me, but a big "plus").

Since I would be just as happy to sleep on the beach, with no A/C and no breakfast, I gave Moshe the choice: Fancy room, with comfy beds vs. cramped room with breakfast.

He did not even hesitate.

My eldest was a little disappointed about the downgrade (she likes the comfy beds!), but, given the choices, she agreed with her dad.

We all enjoy having breakfast prepared for us!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,

Finally Over Jet Lag?

I spent the last two weeks in bed, resting.

When I mentioned to my oncologist that I was still so tired, he looked at me like I had fallen out of the sky.

"You just got back from two weeks in Disneyworld!" he told me, as if I did not know.

I guess I needed to allow myself a bit more time to recover.

I am definitely feeling better this week!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Anticipation

I wrote this on November 20th, about two weeks before we left.  I forgot to post it.  Better late than never!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A wise friend (and family member) suggested we "Leverage the anticipation—which is often as exciting as the actual event—and let the kids go on the websites or buy the books and ask them to plan out the two weeks. That’s a great part of the experience as well."

It never occured to me to involve the kids in the planning.  I hope there is still time!

For weeks, I have been reluctant to get excited about the trip.

What if something happened?  What if the trip fell through?

I just could not bear the through of dealing with everyone's disappointment.

So, I qualified everything, with "nothing is definite until we have our tickets."

Well, now we have our tickets and I am finally allowing myself to get excited! 

The kids are totally into it.

A few nights ago, my eldest gazed at me with her sparkling eyes, "I am so excited!"

I smiled and responded, "I am even more excited than you are!"

After a brief "no, you're not"- "yes I am" exchange, my eldest looked at me with a glint in her eyes and asked, "Are your friends making you a kufsat haftaot (surprise package) with all sorts of fun stuff in it?"

She had me there.

"You win," I conceded, "but I'm still really excited!!"



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Thrill Seekers

Everyone has their fears.

Mine is of heights. 

I am not a big fan of high speeds either.

When I was a little girl, my family went to Hershey Park, in New Jersey Pennsylvania.  There was one rollercoaster with a loop and my dad wanted to take me on it.

I was terrified, just looking at the rollercoaster.  I did not want to go upside down.

But my dad, with his boyish charm, convinced me to go with him.

I think I closed my eyes the whole ride.

That was probably when I decided that rollercoasters were not "for me."

For years, I avoided rollercoasters.  (Not so challenging for someone who does not frequent amusement parks)  The last time we were at Disney/Universal, I did not go on any of the serious rollercoaster rides. 

My kids were little then.

They are bigger now.

My son (no surprise there) and my eldest daughter (she surprised me, being naturally cautious and all that) were both totally into the rollercoaster thing -- the faster and scarier, the better!

To my surprise, I was totally into it as well.

Cancer has made me a thrill seeker!  (...as long as there are safety harnesses, so there is no chance of falling!)

Don't get me wrong.  I still felt scared. 

Each time, I reminded myself that the ride only lasts a minute and a half! 

I also forced myself to focus on breathing.  Slowly in.... slowly out....

Full disclosure: I also held (read: gripped) my daughter's hand during most of the rides.

But I did them, every one. 

More than once! 

I even rode the scariest rollercoaster two more times -- on my own!

I loved it! 

And I loved sharing that experience with my kids.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

A New Set of Wheels -- Not Bad!

To fully appreciate this post, read this first.
----------------------------------------------------------


I was amazed at the number of people going around the parks in wheelchairs and electric buggies.

People were in "chairs" for all sorts of reasons.  Nobody paid much attention to us -- this was obvious from the amount of people who walked right in front of us, often receiving an unexpected bump against their shins, since we could not stop in time!

Their is a "chupar" (perk) to being in a wheelchair -- on several rides, we get to bypass the lines.

Of course, being in a wheelchair makes walking much slower, so it takes us longer to get to those lines in the first place!

So, it all probably balances out, in the end.

The parks accomodated our special needs and assigned us passes that allowed us to go in the "Express"/"Fast Pass" lines.  At Disney, we received one pass that we could use for our entire visit.  At Universal, we had to get the passes reissued each day, but it was a quick and easy process (we just handed them the previous passes and they renewed them for us).

The first Disney park attendant, at Hollywood Studios, actually emphasized that the pass was NOT for the quicker line.  So, unfortunately, we did not take advantage of the pass that day.  The next day, at Magic Kingdom, the park attendent explained that we could use it for the quicker lines, and we were able to see many more attractions as a result.

I spent most of my days in the chair.  It was a wise decision.  As is, I was exhausted by the end of the day.

But I did not was to cut the day short!

I wanted to do everything!!

My kids pushed me around and, for the most part, were extremely gracious and helpful in this department.

When my parents joined us, my dad pushed me around most of the time.  He wanted the extra exercise!  It was nice having that little bit of extra attention from my dad.

After the first day in the wheelchair, I stopped worrying about being different.  There is such diversity among the people attending the parks.  With so many people in special chairs, it felt like we were just another minority group.

Cast members (i.e. park employees) were all very attentive and helpful. 

There were two times when I wanted to repeat a ride, when the rest of the family wanted to eat.  I was prepared to go on my own.  I found it particularly challenging to roll the wheelchair long distances and gained a greater appreciation for all the help from my family.  Both times, members of my family (first my mom, then my youngest) surprised me, and chose to accompany me, even though they did not want to go on the rides (both avoid rollercoasters).  It was nice to have their company... and their assistance.

Over the two weeks, once or twice, I did get out of the chair and push it.  And I did get out to walk short distances, to the bathroom or for specific rides.

Mostly, I took full advantage of having somewhere to sit and being chauffeured about like a queen.


 Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Home Sweet Home

This post is full of details, mostly so I will remember them. 
Feel free to skip it if you get bored.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

We had a fantastic, albeit complex, family vacation!

We all left for the States on Thursday night, December 3rd, and everyone but my eldest just returned late last night, Sunday, December 20th.

We got back later than expected because of a snowstorm; our flight was delayed for FOUR HOUR.  Good fortune prevailed, and strong tailwinds shaved off two of those hours from our flight time.

Our eldest was with us for the first week, but left on Sunday morning, December 13th, so she could attend final rehearsals for the upcoming production of Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance; she is in the chorus.  (For those planning to attend the show, she will be in the yellow and purple costume.)

My parents joined us for our second week in Orlando.  They wanted to come earlier, to spend more time with all of us, before our eldest left; but my dad had a professional convention at the same time, so he had to attend that.

We all overlapped for one Shabbat, which was wonderful and one of the highlights of our trip.

During the week with just our immediate family, we played for one day in all of the major Disney and Universal theme parks.  We spent Sunday through Friday, as follows:  Hollywood Studios Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Animal Kingdom.  My parents, who had one less "play day" to begin with, chose to pass on both Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom and spend an extra day at Epcot. 

Since Universal is closer to the airport, we went there on Sunday (after spending the morning in the airport, making sure our daughter was secure on her first solo flight across the world).  Then we spent Monday through Wednesday at Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and Islands of Adventure, respectively.  For our last day, we went, again, to Epcot.  That night, while still at Epcot, our kids had several hours of "alone time" to play with their grandparents.

Moshe and I left early to see La Nouba, Cirque du Soleil, a spectacular show combining acrobatics, juggling, clowning, and dance.

All in all, we were in Orlando from Friday, the 4th, through Friday, the 18th, spending a total of 7 days in Disney parks (1 day each in Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom, 2 days at Magic Kingdom, and 3 days at Epcot) and 4 days in Universal parks (2 each at Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure).

On Friday, December 18th, my parents flew home to Arizona and we flew to New Jersey.

I stayed up all of Thursday night, with my mom, packing and tidying up. 

At 4:30 am, I woke up Moshe and the kids;  I was still rushing about, trying to finish up!  We got out later than we had planned, but we got to the airport in time to make our flight.... almost.

I had packed food to eat while we were waiting.  Though it became obvious that we would not have time to eat at the airport, I forgot that I had packed liquids (drinks, yoghurts, etc.).  Ridding us of all our liquids caused enough of a delay at Homeland Security that we got to the gate just as the plane was pulling away.

Ironically, we spent several hours at the airport waiting for the next available flight, during which time we could have enjoyed our food and drink!   Oh well.  We were grateful to catch another flight and get to Teaneck before Shabbat!

We spent Shabbat with very close friends of ours, who used to live in Jerusalem.

During the afternoon, my grandfather and his partner came to visit, as did a few other courageous friends, who braved the snow!  The visits were short, as I did not have a lot of energy and needed to rest.  (I still had at least 8 hours of sleep to catch up on!)

Based on Friday's weather reports, we thought our flight would be cancelled and we would "win" another day or two with our friends.  But, after Shabbat, our plane was still "on schedule."

The airline actually started the boarding process on time, until it became clear that de-icing the plane would be more complicated and the delay would be extensive. People actually de-boarded the plane, which is very unusual.

The airline ended up moving the de-icing station to the start of the runway, so the plane could take off as soon as they completed the de-icing process.

A few hours later, the airport cancelled all flights. By that point, we were well on our way home.

When we finally walked into our own doors, I was so incredibly grateful to be home!

House Sitter

After I posted that I am going on vacation, it occured to me that I just announced to the whole world that my house will be vacant.

Growing up in New York (OK, New Jersey, but my parents are New Yorkers...), letting people know you were going on vacation was like issuing an invitation to "come, break into my home, and steal all my stuff."

So, when a friend was looking for a place to crash in Jerusalem, I was thrilled to offer our home. 

Being the paranoid person I am, I also worry about electrical fires, water leaks, and all sorts of other disasters that can destroy your home while you are away.

It is great to have someone I trust "hold down the fort."

With someone at home, I feel free;  I can enjoy my vacation in peace.

So, if you call, and a strange man answers the phone, just leave a message.  We will get it when we get back!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Not Taking a Break, Just Slowing Down

For a while there, I far exceeded my promise "to post at least 2-3 times a week."

Many weeks, I posted every day.  Some weeks, I even managed to post on Friday (before Shabbat), and Saturday night (after Shabbat).

There were even a few days in there when I posted TWICE!

If you ask me, that's pretty impressive.  (How's that for patting myself on the back?)

Anyway, recently things have slowed down a bit.  Between the brain mets diagnosis, radiation, my son's Bar Mitvah, family visits, the chagim (holidays), the flu (and feeling down), kidney stones, my son getting hit by a car, and planning out FAMILY VACATION, I have been a little busy.

I have to focus now on putting together our vacation, so if the blog posts are a little spotty.... please forgive me.

I am healthy (for a sick person), so don't worry.  I just don't have that much time or energy.

I am so excited.  And I am enjoying the anticipation and the planning!  (Thanks to all of you who kept emphasizing that it is part of the fun!!)

So many people are helping to make this work out for us. I feel surrounded by angels!!

But there are no angels writing my posts!  Oh, wait, I can't believe I did not think of this before!
Maybe I will find some angels to guest post....  (no promises, since that is just one more thing to organize....)
 
Anyway, between the running around, and the resting (gotta' rest), I just do not have as much time to post as I would like.

Please, bear with me, I will post when I can and when we return, I hope to pick up the pace...



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

It's Nice When It All Works Out -- friends, Xeloda, PET scans, & Disney

I need to do a PET scan, to see how I am doing.

All the imaging techniques (CT, MRI, PET) scan our bodies in different ways and provide different information.

With a PET, you have to be off chemo for at least two weeks before the scan, otherwise the chemo can influence the results, causing inaccuracies.

So, I am going to be off chemo when we go to Disney!!

Not only will that mean that I will have a bit more energy (I hope!), but I will also be able to eat more, at least by the end of our visit!

We will be spending our last Shabbat with very close friends, who also love food and are amazing cooks!  I am so looking forward to fabulous food!! Not to mention, really good company!

We were not planning on seeing anyone during this visit, besides my parents.  Our focus is 100% on spending quality family time together.

But, because we want to get back to Israel as soon as possible, we will be flying out of Orlando on a Friday and spending Shabbat in NJ.  This way, we can take a motza"sh (Saturday night) flight back home, and arrive on Sunday afternoon.  The kids will have plenty of time to sleep, so they can get back to school on Monday.

My friend was going to come visit me in Florida, until we decided against it. We were both disappointed that we would be "so close and, yet, so far away."  Then the flights, not only made a visit possible, but, made it necessary!

Things really seemed to be falling into place!

When I return to Israel, I will do an MRI of my head and a PET CT of my body.  I always get a bit anxious when I do tests.  I have learned, the hard way, that the results can surprise you, not necessarily in a good way.  Our last head MRI certainly surprised us, davka (on the contrary) in a very positive way.  So, you never know.  Still, until we get the "all clear," there is definitely a cloud of tension and anxiety.

But that is not where my head needs to be now.  (I mean, let's be honest.  My head is always in the clouds.... it just does not have to be in those clouds!)

I am going on vacation!!

We are going to have so much fun living in our fantasy world!!

I am so unbelievably psyched that it will be a chemo-free vacation!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Where the Magic Begins....

I am not a supersticious person, but I did not want to write anything.... until we had our tickets.

Well, now we have them, so I can share our news:

We are going to Orlando!! 

Some very generous people have made it possible for us to go and we are SO EXCITED!!

We have not had a real family vacation for ten years! 

The last time we went to Orlando, we were on the way to my brother's wedding.  We couldn't really afford it then either.  But I had just gotten over a year of post-op infections, following a "simple" hernia repair that turned into a nightmare, including two month long hospitalizations:  the first time for sepsis (by the time my best friend convinced me to go to the ER, I was already going into shock); the second time coincided with Pesach, which I spent in the hospital, away from my kids.  Having such a serious infection (I did not realize I could have died until months later), made me understand that "life is short."  So we went to Disney and Universal and had a magical family experience.

Our kids were really little then.

For years, we have dreamed of taking them to Orlando when they were older.  But we could never justify the expense.

When I mentioned this dream, during one of my visits with our oncologist, he told us "don't wait"  -- not because I have cancer, but because you never know what the future will bring....

Moshe and I LOVE Disney and Universal.  They are our favorite places in the whole world (besides Israel). We went there, for the first time, on our honeymoon.

Moshe's fantasy job is doing programming for Disney (and working in the underground studios).  But you can't work in Orlando and live in Israel.....

I wanted to wait until the Harry Potter park opened, but that will not be until the spring.

The thing is, right now, my chemo is in pills, so traveling is much easier.  We don't need to worry about infusions or how to get them or how to transfer the medication.  But, we don't know for how long this chemo will work.  No one knows what drugs I will be taking this spring....

So, we are not waiting.

If we could, we would go once a year.

There is so much to do in Orlando, and we are such little kids (don't be fooled by these "grown up" bodies), we could play there forever!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Pesach Preparations -- the traditional kind

First, let me be clear, I only clean for Pesach. I do not do “spring cleaning.”

Second, I only clean the bare minimum. I don't worry about the dust or the clutter. I just worry about getting rid of chametz.

In the past, I spent a lot of time and energy getting rid of chametz. We used to completely rid our home of all things chametzdik (of, or having to do with, chametz).

Moshe does not believe in selling chametz and I do not believe in wasting food.

So, starting around Tu B'Shvat, I stopped stocking up and started working our way through our stores of food and condiments.

I also started contacting food companies to verify the sources of various ingredients. I needed to know, was the vinegar made from wheat or barley, or was it synthetic or make from something else? What about dextrose and dextrin? Were they made from corn, wheat or barley? I could keep the corn derivatives, since I can own kitniyot (even if I can't eat them), but wheat or barley derivatives had to be finished, given away, or thrown out.

Many companies assumed I was asking about gluten, so I had to explain that this was not a health question, but a religious question. It was an educational experience!! And it took time!

I used to check EVERYTHING!

Not anymore.

Ever since I started dealing with the cancer thing, I just can't do it. For a while, I still made the effort to contact companies. Not this year. I spent too much time feeling sick and tired.

Much to Moshe's chagrin, I have taken to selling our chametz.

I sort through what I can. We finish what can be finished. And then I just sell the rest.

So, in theory, I should really have a fairly easy time preparing for Pesach. I just basically need to clean and kasher my kitchen. Oh, yeah, and our extra refrigerator and freezer.

This year, we might not be home at all during Pesach. So, I am not even going to kasher my oven.

We are going to Moshe’s parents for Seder, to his sister’s for Shabbat Chol HaMo’ed, and to our good friends’ for Sh’vi’i L’Fesach (the seventh day of Pesach, with is also a Yom Tov).

But cleaning always takes more time than I expect!

Despite the fact that both girls helped out a lot, we did not finish in two days. (my son is off on three day tiyul (hike), so he got a "free pass" this year)

Sunday, we (read: my girls) cleaned the extra fridge and freezer.

Monday, all I wanted was to clean our main fridge and have everything put away. We did not finish.

Tuesday, I have chemo. I started to panic.

As I sat with my girls and discussed what they would need to do, my eldest jumped in and said "we can finish the refrigerator; we already know what to do."

There is still plenty of work that I have to do. I have to put everything away (the girls will help with that), and I would like to clean our stove, and kasher our grill (so we can take it with us and have a bar-b-que if we camp out).

We are still debating where to be, and what to do, during the 2-3 days of chol hamo'ed.

The kids really want to camp out. They also want to do some hiking and go to the beach.

If we go camping, I'll camp with the kids and Moshe will find somewhere more comfortable to sleep. I wish he liked camping, but he just does not.

I LOVE camping, but my body is not what it used to be. With cancer throughout my bones, I am a bit more sensitive about where I sleep.

I hope I am up for the challenge!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

General Update -- Life is BUSY!! (Filled with Good Things)

Once again, I have not really had internet access for several days.

Just to put things into perspective, I was away last week for three and a half days (Sun-Wed) and I am away this week for another three and a half days(Sun-Wed). In between, I had my PET scan on Thursday (no results yet), we went away for Shabbat (to friends in Kochav HaShachar), I went to chemo on Sunday (more about that another time), and Sunday night my support group started meeting again!

I guess now I understand why I am so tired!

I am having a wonderful time!

I have all sorts of things to share, but do not have the time to post right now.

I wish I would have thought to have people "guest post." I just was not organized in advance....

Oh well, next time...

Meanwhile, thanks for your patience.

I will try to post when I can, and hope to be back to "normal" next week.

OK, gotta go have more fun now.....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Chemo Day: Better Than Last Time!

I was quite apprehensive about today.... Would it be another 11 hour chemo-day-from-hell? Would it be a "normal" 4 hour day? How could I plan for it? I tried asking the doctor, but he said there was no way to know what to expect.

And, of course, there were the ramifications: if it takes "too long" again, then, in the future, we would split up the Herceptin into three doses and I would have to come in for a third of the Herceptin every week of the three-week-cycle. Read: I would lose my "vacation" days!

(Currently, I come in for the first two of the three weeks. And, unless my bone medication, which is on a four-week-cycle, falls out on that day, I have "off" every third week. So, out of every 16 weeks, I get three weeks "off". And I don't want to lose those.)

So, I wanted to make sure that it doesn't go too slowly.

On the other hand, I didn't want to do anything that might jeopordize getting the Herceptin, which is a life-saving drug for HER2 cancer patients (like me). So, I didn't want to get the drug too fast and have another adverse reaction.

I got to the hospital around 9:30, earlier than usual for me. But I spent almost 3 hours just waiting! By around 11:00, every time the doctor passed, I smiled and reminded him that "I'm not hooked up yet". (you can imagine my anxiety, as crucial time just ticked away)

It turns out that Alan, my "coffee and chemo" date for the day, is good friends with one of the pharmacists. When the pharmacist brought the drugs to the ward, she sat with us for a few minutes. In passing she mentioned that, thanks to Alan's earlier call, she tried to get the drug ready a little faster. Apparently, somewhere along the way, someone had made a mistake and the pharmacy department hadn't received my prescription; so they hadn't prepared the drug in advance. Moreover, the pharmacy department had to wait until they received a prescription, which must be written by a doctor. (did I mention that mid-morning my doctor left for physical therapy?) So, there was quite a significant delay.

Meanwhile, I had great company. So, that helped distract me from the stress.

We talked about life, and religion, and travelling, and family. And that was only in the first hour!

I was finally hooked up at 12:15! They started the drip slowly, on 40, which was the rate I received the Herceptin last time. Approximately every hour, they raised the rate another 20. At around 80, I felt a bit of pressure in my chest, but it wasn't too bad. By 120, the pressure was still okay, though a bit stronger. But still, this rate was 3 times as fast as the last time!

I was feeling pretty optimistic. Until the doctor breezed in. He suggested that next time we split up the dosage. "I don't want to do that", I answered. No ambiguity there. "Do you feel pressure?", he asked (knowing the answer). "But the drip is on 120, that's 3 times the rate..." But the doctor was already breezing out. "I don't want to do that", I called after him. No response. "So tell them to up the dosage", I called desperately, my words reverberating on walls of the now nearly empty oncology day ward.

My delicate ballance was in an upset. I could feel the tears welling up. I called Moshe right away, and he helped to calm me: "You'll talk to him", Moshe counselled, "you've changed his mind in the past..." (I wasn't convinced that this would be as easy as getting a half-dosage of anti-histamine, but it helped to ground me. Nothing was set in stone yet...)

It was now nearly 3:30 and the nurse upped the rate to 140. The pressure in my chest stayed constant; the discomfort more bearable than the thought of losing my vacation days!

Luckily, Alan had cleared his entire day for me and provided excellent entertainment! We spoke about everything and, most importantly, we laughed a lot! And we looked at many pictures from all his wonderful escapades in the far east! It was fun. I love looking at good photographs and analyzing the composition! And he had a lot of good photographs!

I could almost forget the discomfort... and the stress...

Then, finally, the Herceptin was done! It was 4:00. I jumped up and searched for a nurse (I still had to get the Navalbine). I spotted the doctor. "I'm not giving up without a fight", I warned him (I already had the arguments lined up in my head: the technical mistakes that caused delays that morning, the increased pace of the drip, the psychological importance of getting time off, etc). "I knew you wouldn't", he answered.

I wondered: did he just "play me"? Was the "threat" meant to motivate me to get the drip faster? But I hadn't told anyone not to raise the rate! What was this? I hate it when things are "thrown out" with no time to discuss things. I had to remind myself that nothing would be decided without consulting us. But I was disconcerted.

At 4:30, when the head nurse came to disconnect me, she also suggested that it might be better for me to split up the dosages. So I gave her the arguments. And I focussed on the fact that, had the drug been ready, I would have been done by 1:30/2:30, which is totally normal!

The nurse agreed that my analysis was accurate. So, I promised to call next time, on my way to the hospital, so that everything would be ready....

Now to convince the doctor....

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Vacation! or "From the Mixed Up Files of RivkA with a Capital A"

I'm "off" next week!!

YAY!!!!!!!

But this magical moment almost slipped away....

Since my medications are on different cycles (2 are on 3 week cycles and one is on a 4 week cycle), I only get a week off when all the planets are aligned!

Yesterday, I checked to make sure that my calculations are correct, and that I do NOT need to come in next week (Aug 28).

When the nurse informed me that I DO need to come in, I felt like the floor had opened up and I was falling down the rabbit hole.

It doesn't take much to shake me up and this was enough. My generally cheery mood crashed.

I felt so sad and sorry for myself. I was really looking forward to having a break.

Next Tuesday is the last day of vacation for MD & A (Y starts school on Monday). I was really looking forward to spending that day with my kids, and maybe having a little more energy for the first week of school!

After that, the kids are in school anyway, so what do I care if I have to come in an extra week.

So, what's the issue? My Navalbine/Herceptin cycle is "out of cync".

The STANDARD 3 week cycle is:
week 1: Herceptin and Navalbine
week 2: Navalbine
week 3: off

MY 3 week cycle is:
week 1: Navalbine*
week 2: Herceptin and Navalbine
week 3: off

*I got Navalbine first because the Herceptin wasn't approved yet, and we were anxious to begin treatment.

My mixed up cycle is confusing.

So, the doctor wanted to "ignore" last week's treatment and establish yesterday's treatment (Aug 21) as the beginning of a "new cycle".

Instead of having "off" next week (Aug 28), I would come in for Navalbine, and be "off" the following week (Sept 4).

BUT, I have to come in anyway on Sept 4, for the bone medication.

REMEMBER, I only get a week off if the planets are properly aligned!

Are you confused yet??

The bottom line is that I convinced the doctor to leave me in my mixed up world for one more cycle.

On Sept 4th, I'll get the bone medication and the Navalbine. Then the following week, Sept 11th, I will begin the "new cycle" with Herceptin and Navalbine.

And, most importantly, I get my vacation next week!!

YAY!!

:-)

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA