Pesach Preparations -- the traditional kind

First, let me be clear, I only clean for Pesach. I do not do “spring cleaning.”

Second, I only clean the bare minimum. I don't worry about the dust or the clutter. I just worry about getting rid of chametz.

In the past, I spent a lot of time and energy getting rid of chametz. We used to completely rid our home of all things chametzdik (of, or having to do with, chametz).

Moshe does not believe in selling chametz and I do not believe in wasting food.

So, starting around Tu B'Shvat, I stopped stocking up and started working our way through our stores of food and condiments.

I also started contacting food companies to verify the sources of various ingredients. I needed to know, was the vinegar made from wheat or barley, or was it synthetic or make from something else? What about dextrose and dextrin? Were they made from corn, wheat or barley? I could keep the corn derivatives, since I can own kitniyot (even if I can't eat them), but wheat or barley derivatives had to be finished, given away, or thrown out.

Many companies assumed I was asking about gluten, so I had to explain that this was not a health question, but a religious question. It was an educational experience!! And it took time!

I used to check EVERYTHING!

Not anymore.

Ever since I started dealing with the cancer thing, I just can't do it. For a while, I still made the effort to contact companies. Not this year. I spent too much time feeling sick and tired.

Much to Moshe's chagrin, I have taken to selling our chametz.

I sort through what I can. We finish what can be finished. And then I just sell the rest.

So, in theory, I should really have a fairly easy time preparing for Pesach. I just basically need to clean and kasher my kitchen. Oh, yeah, and our extra refrigerator and freezer.

This year, we might not be home at all during Pesach. So, I am not even going to kasher my oven.

We are going to Moshe’s parents for Seder, to his sister’s for Shabbat Chol HaMo’ed, and to our good friends’ for Sh’vi’i L’Fesach (the seventh day of Pesach, with is also a Yom Tov).

But cleaning always takes more time than I expect!

Despite the fact that both girls helped out a lot, we did not finish in two days. (my son is off on three day tiyul (hike), so he got a "free pass" this year)

Sunday, we (read: my girls) cleaned the extra fridge and freezer.

Monday, all I wanted was to clean our main fridge and have everything put away. We did not finish.

Tuesday, I have chemo. I started to panic.

As I sat with my girls and discussed what they would need to do, my eldest jumped in and said "we can finish the refrigerator; we already know what to do."

There is still plenty of work that I have to do. I have to put everything away (the girls will help with that), and I would like to clean our stove, and kasher our grill (so we can take it with us and have a bar-b-que if we camp out).

We are still debating where to be, and what to do, during the 2-3 days of chol hamo'ed.

The kids really want to camp out. They also want to do some hiking and go to the beach.

If we go camping, I'll camp with the kids and Moshe will find somewhere more comfortable to sleep. I wish he liked camping, but he just does not.

I LOVE camping, but my body is not what it used to be. With cancer throughout my bones, I am a bit more sensitive about where I sleep.

I hope I am up for the challenge!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Medical Update -- Bone Scan, CT, & Chemo

And now for our weekly edition.....

(for those who just want to read the "bottom line", feel free to skip to the end)

Wednesday, 8:30: (accompanied by mom)
1. Arrived at SZ (Sha'are Zedek) for bone scan.

2. Got the shot that makes me glow, and waited two hours for the scan.

3. In a brilliant, last minute coup, (if I do say so myself) while waiting, I went for a follow up visit to the ENT -- I was supposed to go a month ago, but since my ear was no longer killing me, I had not found the time to get around to it... (missed that exciting saga? see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here).

4. I finished my follow up ENT visit (everything is fine), just in time to go for the scan.

5. Results of the scan would be available on Thursday.

6. I was wiped out! On our way out of the hospital, my mom wanted to stop by and say "hi" to her friend's son, TZ, who runs the ER. I was too tired.

7. We went home and I crashed!
(Just before I fell into bed, I told my mom "Hospitals are no place for healthy people!")


Thursday, 8:30:
1. Went to oncology to open my port and get a blood test.

2. My doctor whizzed by, and called out to me: "bone scan - no change."

3. Went down to get my CT.

4. Gave the secretary my referral, and happened to notice that the referral was only for a "chest/stomach/pelvis" CT. It was missing only one, very important word: "head." I had requested that we also CT my head, in case there was some cancer activity sneaking around my brain (which might explain the rising markers).

5. Went back up to oncology, in search of my oncologist, to add the missing link.

6. 45 minutes later, mission accomplished, I returned for the CT.

7. The secretary gave me a plastic "jerrycan" of DISGUSTING liquid to drink. I added two full cups of artificial juice concentrate (lots of sugar and food coloring, no nutritional value!). It did not help much.

8. I had to drink two cups to start, and then a cup every ten minutes. Much to the amusement of all present, when I drank, I held my nose and gulped down the liquid. Then I shivered in disgust. (it makes me shiver, just thinking about it). YUCK!

9. I learned, from M, the woman sitting next to me (whom I recognized from chemo), that there is a video camera focused on the CT waiting area. Apparently, she once dumped several cups of her drink in the garbage bin and planters in the waiting area. The CT staff showed her the video of her crime, asking her to refrain, in the future, from "watering the plants!"

10. Two hours later, I finished the drink and had the CT.

11. Went back to oncology, to find out if I would get chemo. The doctor did not know yet. It was 12:10 and I had been fasting all morning (beside that "CT special," Barium drink). I went off in search of food, knowing that as soon as I sat down to eat, I would get the call to come back for chemo.

12. The oncologist called, I would get chemo... today (for details of the call, see below)

13. Back up to oncology, with my food, to get chemo, and the bone drugs (oops! forgot about that! good thing I showed up for regular chemo!)

14. It was after 4:00 when we finally finished!

15. On our way out, we visited with TZ, who is a very interesting, and very nice person.

16. As we were leaving, my oncologist passed by. This month, in addition to his regular responsibilities, he is overseeing "intake" in the oncology ward (the regular ward, not the day ward). This makes him less available to his normal patients (well, I am not sure you could describe me as "normal," but you know what I mean). Despite his outward calm, I can see that this additional job is streching him to the limit.


Bottom Line:
* My oncologist told me that he wants to "sit" on those images for a few days. He wants to examine the images, bone by bone, which will take a while. And he wants to discuss my case in a staff meeting.

He is also considering sending the images for an outside opinion, from someone not connected to the hospital (it was unclear if he had someone specific in mind, though I know that he consults with an oncologist at Sloan Kettering).

Thursday evening, Moshe and I read the report from the bone scan. It does not look good to me. I will try to stay calm, until we talk with my oncologist on Tuesday.

A few weeks ago, I asked my oncologist where, exactly, is the cancer in my bones. He answered that it's all over my skeleton and that there is not enough time to go bone by bone.

Well, the bone scan report pretty much spelled it out for me:

"... in the shoulders, sternum, the entire length of the spinal column, both sides of the ribs, both sides of the pelvis, hip joints, and femurs."

Meanwhile, I will breathe slowly, and try not to focus on this stuff.



Shabbat Shalom!

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Medical Update -- CT results

My doctor sat up straight. He had "that look." My stomach dropped.

He chose his words carefully. There is a "minor level suspicion" that the situation with my bones is worse.

I thought we eliminated suspicion with the last CT of my bones.

I guess not.

This past Sunday, Isru Chag, instead of sleeping in and hanging out with my kids (or putting away my Pesach dishes), I woke up early for a MUGA scan (to make sure the Herceptin is not damaging my heart too much). After that, I had my regularly scheduled CT. (Have I mentioned how DISGUSTING I find the Barium drink for the CT??)

The tests are slightly stressful. (Hence the need to rest when I got home, even though I did "nothing" all morning) But I did not worry too much. I expected everything to be the same as last time. Stable.

Silly me.

Of course, everything is probably OK.

Even in the worst case, my prognosis is still the same (good). I would just have to change the companion drug (i.e. the chemo: Vinorelbine, a.k.a. Vanilla Bean). Hopefully, that will not be necessary.

I am taking a drug (either Zomera or Denosumab, not sure which, since I am in a double-blind study) to strengthen my bones. The drug creates dense bone tissue around the tumors, causing the borders to appear larger. So, while the results appear to be scelrosis, we want to make sure.

The good news is that my heart is just fine, thank-you-very-much. And my liver and lungs appear stable. Though, since I cannot use contrast (since I am now allergic to iodine), it is more difficult to examine the CT and compare results.... However, apparently there is no immediate concern regarding my organs.

So, I just need to do a Bone Scan (Hebrew: Mipui Atzamot).

It is no big deal. Just another test.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA