Aack! I Am Going Through Withdrawal (Humor)

Aack!  I am going through withdrawal!!

Not from the narcotics!!

(What were you thinking?!?)

I am doing fine with the narcotics. In fact, I probably should be taking more of them!

It is hard for me to keep taking more narcotics; they scare me.  I KNOW tha people who really need narcotics do not usually get addicted, but I still find them frightening. All those years of “say no to drugs” and all that....

Anyway, drugs aside, I am definitely experiencing withdrawal.

OK, so I do not have the shakes or the shivers.  Instead, I have words swirling around my brain and nowhere to put them down.

My internet source has been cut off and I am experiencing cyberspace withdrawal symptoms.

I am spending a few days with a friend and we have no internet access.
Not to worry, I will get hooked up again as soon as I go home.

Meanwhile, at least I got a quick fix (in a restaurant in town)....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Not Taking a Break, Just Slowing Down

For a while there, I far exceeded my promise "to post at least 2-3 times a week."

Many weeks, I posted every day.  Some weeks, I even managed to post on Friday (before Shabbat), and Saturday night (after Shabbat).

There were even a few days in there when I posted TWICE!

If you ask me, that's pretty impressive.  (How's that for patting myself on the back?)

Anyway, recently things have slowed down a bit.  Between the brain mets diagnosis, radiation, my son's Bar Mitvah, family visits, the chagim (holidays), the flu (and feeling down), kidney stones, my son getting hit by a car, and planning out FAMILY VACATION, I have been a little busy.

I have to focus now on putting together our vacation, so if the blog posts are a little spotty.... please forgive me.

I am healthy (for a sick person), so don't worry.  I just don't have that much time or energy.

I am so excited.  And I am enjoying the anticipation and the planning!  (Thanks to all of you who kept emphasizing that it is part of the fun!!)

So many people are helping to make this work out for us. I feel surrounded by angels!!

But there are no angels writing my posts!  Oh, wait, I can't believe I did not think of this before!
Maybe I will find some angels to guest post....  (no promises, since that is just one more thing to organize....)
 
Anyway, between the running around, and the resting (gotta' rest), I just do not have as much time to post as I would like.

Please, bear with me, I will post when I can and when we return, I hope to pick up the pace...



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

What Do You Think? (about comments and emails)

************* warning: RANT *************


In case you were wondering, I read all of your comments, even on older posts (unless the system fails and doesn’t notify me, which does happen occasionally).

When I see a new name, I usually follow the link. I am always interested to know who is reading my blog and how they got here.

Every once in a while I receive a comment that turns out to be a “front” for some business. I follow the link and find a business website, rather than a real person.

I always delete those comments. If people want to advertise on my blog, they can contact me and make me an offer. But writing a comment, as if they care, when they are just looking for free advertising… that’s just wrong.

Last week, I received an email, following my post about mobile phones.

The email began friendly enough:

When I visited my childhood best friend Debbie in Tel Aviv about 10 years ago she told me then Israel was the most cell phone connected country. I know from your blog you’re fighting metastatic breast cancer—to the brain. Any chance you’d give up using your cell phone for your health? The frequencies they give off are not good for children’s brains and mostly likely not yours either.

She includes several links and a bit more diatribe, and then she gets to the sales pitch:

I am sensitive to the computers and TV’s. So due to this sensitivity I wear a [commercial product]*, which helps my body deal with background radiation and frequencies that are not in harmony with nature and living things.

*no free advertising here

She then includes a link to the product and indicates which one she uses.

Then she adds, in closing:

Just thought I would bring it up. Our family business here in Washington State has been doing mastectomy fitting for over 30 years and there are just some practices that are too risky for people fighting for their lives.
[Name] (child of two Hungarian Holocaust survivors)

I wrote her the following, brief response:

Please don't send me business promotions.

To which she responded:

You have a lot of nerve to respond in this manner to my email. I never sent you any *business promotions* or made any mention of selling anything to you. I sent you information about protecting yourself from ionizing radiation to your brain since you have cancer there already. After 30 years of helping women who have had metastatic breast cancer and even losing my dear sister-in-law at age 36 [who presented with two different primary breast cancers within a year of each other] to the disease, I believe I know some things about the women who have changed their lives to survive. Sorry you misinterpret things so badly.

HELLO????

Was it my imagination??

I wrote back:

You sent me an advertisement for a product.
That is SPAM.
I am sorry for your loss, but that does not give you the right to be rude to me.
I am bombarded with emails from people who are promoting their product.
I am just not interested in your business.
I thought I was being polite, and to the point.

Guess what, she wrote back again!

So what if I told you about a product. It was to help you—not for me to make any money. I don’t even know if the [product] is sold in Israel. I have given many of them just to help people in front of their computer. You have a problem that you only see the bad in people. I feel really sorry for you.

Do I need this?

I knew I should not respond, but I could not ignore her.  I wrote one more brief note:

please stop insulting me.

you do not know me at all.

if you have nothing nice to say, please do not write me again.

Am I out of my mind or is she a crazy woman?

It sure seemed to me, from what she wrote in her initial emails, that the business was hers. Even if it is not (as she seems to indicate in her final email, though I am still suspicious, due to her aggressive and insulting tone), asking her to refrain from sending business promotions hardly seems offensive to me.

Why do people feel they have a right to be so horribly judgmental and rude?

A friend of mine just closed her blog because of people who sent her mean letters. I did not understand, until now.

How can someone be so nasty?

Most significantly, why is it so hurtful to me, when I don’t even know the person and she means nothing to me??


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Let "Mothers with Cancer" Know What You Think

I used to be a proud member of a communal blog for Mothers with Cancer. I was happy to share my experiences with a wider audience and, in that way, to help more young mothers who are coping with chronic cancer.

That was before I was attacked and penalized for writing something politically incorrect. My post was pulled and my status changed (details below). Future posts, by me, would be censored.

Occasionally, there have been political posts on the blog and that bothered me. I felt these posts to be divisive. I was particularly put off when, following a left-wing (pro-Obama) post, I posted a counter opinion, and my post was pulled. After I made an issue about the hypocrisy, the original post was pulled as well.

Recently, members of the blog wanted to discuss the new US health care reforms. I again objected, as I felt the issue could be divisive and alienate mothers. As there are plenty of forums for discussion the politics of cancer, I felt that our communal blog should be a place where we just stick to posting about mothering and cancer.

It was decided that as long as authors identified themselves, and wrote a disclaimer ("this post represents the sole opinion of its author"), then political posts were acceptable.

I disagreed, but I was outvoted (though there was no official vote).

So, recently, I posted according to the rules about the about the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Middle East Conference on Breast Cancer, and the compliance of Komen for the Cure in the boycott of Israeli participants.

I received one comment "This is very disturbing news to hear. Thanks for letting us know."

Then my post was pulled.

I received this letter:

It is with deep regret that I must tell you that I have pulled your latest blog post, entitled "Some People Hate Jews More Than They Hate Cancer." The content is inappropriate for our blog, in that it can be viewed as confrontational, divisive, accusatory, not directly on topic of mothering through cancer, and contains statements defaming another cancer support organization that, in fact, have been refuted by the other organization. This post opens us up to being sued for libel, among other things, and that is something that I cannot risk. Since we are not an incorporated nonprofit body, any lawsuit could be brought against all the members of the blog, and I will not allow that to happen to the other 22 mothers with cancer that write for this blog.

As a result, your account status has been temporarily changed to a "contributor," which means that future posts must be approved by an administrator before they are posted.

I am truly sorry to have to take this action, but I must put the welfare of the group above all other considerations.

I was in shock.

First of all, I followed the guidelines: I identified myself and I qualified my post.

I can also verify my claims. I did my homework before writing the post. I have been in touch with the foundation, as well as several other sources. At this time, I have even more information (which I will post soon) confirming these facts.

To claim that I put the group at risk for “being sued for libel” is completely ridiculous. Not only is there no malicious intent (a necessary condition for a libel suit, along with false information), but I can verify my claims, which are all true.

The objection that the post is “not directly on topic of mothering through cancer” would equally apply to the US health care reform plan, but the latter is an acceptable topic for the blog.

Any political post is, by its nature, “divisive.” There are at least two sides to any controversial issue. Any view opposing an injustice, can be termed “confrontational” or “accusatory.”

It is only partially true that the post "contains statements defaming another cancer support organization that, in fact, have been refuted by the other organization." Komen for the Cure denied the statements, but did not refute (i.e. disprove) them. I can verify my claims, they cannot.

Check it out yourself. Several Israelis were initially invited and scheduled to attend. Ask Susan G. Komen for the Cure for the name of ONE participant from Israel. I have asked them for this information several times. They cannot name a single Israeli participant, because there were none.

Not only did Komen for the Cure enable the boycott, but they continue to blatantly deceive the public about this issue, both on their website and in response to email queries.

These issues, both the boycott and the deception, really bother me. They are so important, that I blogged several posts about them and plan to post more.

I thought the issues might interest/concern other moms with cancer. That's why I posted to our communal blog.

Apparently, this is information that the managers of the blog do not want people to know.

Clearly, only one type of political thinking is acceptable on the Mothers with Cancer blog.

Other opinions are a “danger.”

Well, no one need fear my dangerous opinions anymore. I won’t be posting them on that blog anymore. I suspect no one else will either.

After all, that’s what happens when free speech is curtailed. People who want to remain on the inside keep their mouths shut.


-------------------------------------------------------
I posted a benign farewell post to the group, but the moderators of the group did not even have the courtesy to post it.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

I'm Famous (tee hee!)

Ever meet someone who is well known?

Well, years ago I met Barbara Sofer, a Jerusalem Post columnist, whose opinion pieces I actually read.

We met in the locker room at the pool. We talked while we changed, and were quite friendly.

Since she is a more public figure, I occasionally learned about life-events in her family, some happy, some not. But I switched pools years ago and, though I knew she would recognize my face, I did not think she would remember my name, or recognize it in an email. So, though I thought of sending her a "mazal tov" or a condolence email, I did not; I did not think she would know who it was from.

Well I guess I should have sent those emails, because I recently received a "remember me?" email. We met again at The First JBloggers Conference and she did, indeed, remember me from the pool!

She asked if she could quote from my blog and refer readers to it. (Is the sky blue?)

I was so touched that she remembered me and that she knew about my cancer/blog.

She wrote a very nice piece and was very kind and generous in what she writes about me. You can read the full article, The Human Spirit - Embracing Pink.

Towards the end of the article, Barbara Sofer writes "Matitya's blog somehow manages to be unbearably sad and inspiring."

I know my posts have been particularly heavy recently.

Still, I don't want my blog to be "unbearably sad."

Life is good!!


-----------------------------------------------------
What do you think?
Is my blog sad?
Is a sad blog good or bad or both?
Please be honest!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Thank YOU for Being Part of My World

Now seems as good a time as any to express my gratitude for the overwhelming on-line support and encouragment I have received from friends and 'strangers' these past few weeks.

I was amazed at the outpouring of love and support I received after I posted about my recent diagnosis -- I had over 500 visitors to my blog and 73 comments!! And that's not including all the people who responded by email! (I don't know about you, but that just blew me away!!)

So many people came to express their support and to add their prayers via David at Treppenwitz, (who wrote a very kind and moving post aout me here) and Leora from Highland Park (who also wrote about me here). I am grateful to both of them for adding their voices to mine, in such a positive way, during such a difficult time for me.

This experience has made me realize how much of a community I have found in the blogosphere.

Blogging helps me feel less isolated during all those times that I am too tired to leave my home.

I know you think I am increadibly busy, but that is just because I never (ok, almost never) write about the days I am too tired to do anything.

On that note, I will mention that when I "disappear" for a few days, it usually means I really am out and about, actually "living" my life. (Admitedly, there are many reasons that I may be feeling too tired to write about it at the end of the day....)

Anyway, my point is simply that I want to thank all of you for your warmth and caring.

It is awesome to have so many people praying for me, all over the world.

God bless you!!



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

How A Technophobe Became a Blogger....

What was I supposed to do?

I was supposed to be done with cancer!

Instead, the cancer was back and had mysteriously spread from my no-longer-existing breast to my bones, liver and lungs.

Suddenly everyone wanted to know how I am doing.

I could barely cope with the news. Every time I talked about it, I started crying.

I could not make a million phone calls. I did not have time to send either personal or group emails.

I had three young children and I did not know how I was going to get through the next twenty four hours. (That panic persisted for weeks!)

Still, I did not want to blow off my family and friends.

A friend suggested I use a blogging site for people dealing with health issues. It made sense, but I did not want my identity to be defined by illness. So.... I found a user friendly, "normal" blogging site, and, despite my latent technophobia, decided to jump right in and start blogging.... I just needed to choose a blog name...

Wow, that was almost as hard as choosing names for my kids!
(Did I mention that my first child had no name for over two weeks?!!)

Late one Saturday night, my husband and I were hanging out with a serious blogger friend (Jameel) and his wife (Jameela). For over an hour, we brainstormed about a name for my blog. We came up with.... nothing. (worse than nothing -- we had a list of really lame names). At midnight, we called it quits.

As we were leaving, I mentioned to Jameela that I was making "coffee and chemo" dates with friends.

"That's it!!" shouted Jameel, "that's the name of your blog!!"

And so it is....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA



(Cross posted here)