Not So Fun and Relaxing

Today, my plan had been to go to my art class, get a massage, then come home and rest for a few hours before going out to speak to the women's Rosh Chodesh group in Elazar.

Instead, I spent the entire day at the hospital! 

To begin with, even though I am wearing THREE pain patches (12 mg each) and took a Percocet as soon as I woke up, the first thing the pain specialist in the oncology ward had me do was take two more Percocets.  It did shoot me into La-La-Land, but I could finally bare the pain! 

Then, after a brief consult and exam by my oncologist, he sent me for a CT.  After which he invited an amazing (and very nice) oncological orthopedic surgeon for an additional evaluation.  I need to do an MRI of my hip, to make sure I have no fracture, but that will wait for another day.

After I finally got out of the hospital, I had to go to the pharmacy for more pain meds, but they did not have the higher dose pain patches, that the doctor wants me to try.  My mom drove me to another pharmacy, but they did not have the patches either!  I was too tired to make another stop, so we just gave up and will go tomorrow.

By the time I got home, just a few minutes ago, I only had (have) an hour and a half to rest before leaving to speak this evening.

I am so damn tired!

I am counting on the fact that being around people energizes me.  So, I am not too concerned about my ability to give a good presentation.

That said, I am pretty sure I will crash afterwards.  Thankfully, I do not have anything planned for tomorrow, so I can rest.  Though I would really like to do something fun with my mom, who is leaving in two days. 

Being in all this pain has really cramped my style! 

I had planned on doing all these fun things with my mom.  In the end, I did not feel up to doing anything fun!  I am really hoping that we will manage to fit in at least a few fun things during the next two days!

I wanted today to be fun and relaxing.  It really was not!

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Anyway, if any of you women live in the Gush, you are certainly welcome to come here me speak this evening at the moadon in Elazar at 8:00 pm.

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Healing Hugs from Mommy

Even as an adult, when I am sick, I want my mommy.

My kids are no different.

When they do not feel well, they wants lots of hugs from their Ima.

We have a house full of sick kids.

Again.

It started with my youngest, who is better now.  She shared her cold with her two older siblings.  They are still sick.

Everyone needs extra TLC.

Everyone needs hugs.

I could not do much to help them; but I could give hugs.

I felt strong and protective.

Not this morning.

My nose is all stuffed and a have a sinus headache.

I am going to bomb my body with cold medication.

I really do not feel like getting sick!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Mom - Thank You! I Miss You Already!

This summer, as soon as I notified my parents about the return of my cancer, my mom wanted to hop on a plane and come to Israel.

"Hold on, Mom," I cautioned, "we don't know what's happening yet. Why don't you wait a bit, and come when school starts. You can help me much more during the school year."

Mom was feeling far away. She was, understandably, quite nervous and worried. But she agreed to wait.

"Mom," I then asked, "for how long can you come?"

Without hesitating, my mom answered "For as long as you need me."

I immediately queried "So, are you moving here?"

After all, even when we are healthy, we all need our moms! Kal V'Homer (even more so), when we are sick!

Since I knew I would have cancer for a long time, I figured I would need my mom for a long time....

Well, my mom arrived at the end of August and this morning, almost a full SIX MONTHS later, my mom went back to her home in America.

I miss her already.

And I still need her.

I am so grateful for her generosity (and my dad’s). She dropped everything in her own life to come and help me.

She helped me with so many things: picking up the kids from school EVERY day (even when she didn’t feel well); making the kids’ snacks and lunches EVERY evening (which is a task that is as draining to her as it is to me); and shopping EVERY week for groceries (even though she can’t read labels in Hebrew and doesn’t speak more than a few words of Hebrew).

Of course, there were all the little ways that she helped as well, with dishes, and laundry, and sewing, and taking kids to the doctor, and taking ME to the doctor, and holding my hand when I wasn’t feeling well, and… just being here.

It was a long visit.

There were times when our home seemed very crowded. Especially in the beginning (read: first four months), when I wasn’t coping so well. During that time, I am chagrined to admit, I took out much of my frustration on my mother (who was VERY forgiving, especially since it is MY mitzvah (obligation) to show her respect).

Ultimately, it was a very good visit. Eventually, I got my act together, and showed my mother greater deference. We had two good months, and I enjoyed our time together immensely.

I particularly enjoyed watching the many small, and special, interactions between my mother and my children. I am certain that, over time, my children will cherish these memories of living with their grandmother. There is something unique, and priceless, about three generations living together. It was a real privilege to have my mother live with us for such an extended time.

My mother left just a few hours ago, and I already miss her so much.

No matter how old I get, I will always need my mom.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA