Shopping....Because I Love My Girls

OK, so I admit it, if it were up to me, I would not go shopping. BUT, I knew that my daughters were waiting for this opportunity, and I knew that they really needed to go with me. SO, I psyched myself up to go.

My plan was to sleep late (until at least 9:00), then wake up the girls, have breakfast together, and then hit the outlets. If we were lucky, we would finish early and come home in time to have a nice dinner together. Maybe MD would even be back in time to join us.

I woke up too early, at 8:00. I thought I would just do a few things, then go back to bed for another 1/2 an hour or so. But by 10:00, my youngest was already up and there was no turning back. We woke up my eldest around noon. The revised plan was to have lunch and be on our way.

One thing led to another and at 1:00 I was not sure if I wanted to go. I was irritated about several things (including the girls' sudden demand that we also go to the mall today, since "everything is 50% off") and I was tired. Both girls were upset. But it was the tears of my youngest, as she cried "you promised," that tore at my heart. She wanted to go yesterday, despite her fever, and I promised her we would go today.

Then, my girls gave me the following note:

Dear Mommy!

going to the mall is very important to Y and A. (us)

its not every day that all three of us are avelable to hang out together!

we know that its not so easy for u to hang out shoping for a long time,
but "אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון"!!!

we wold like to ask you to please do this for us. we will be soooooo graetfull!!!

we know its' a big reaqeust but we really need it.

think of it as: "hanging out with your two lovelly dawters"!!! ☺

such a cool mom!

please please please please please... (x100)

♥love♥ y and a. (us)

(note the please "with a cherry on top)

I do not know if I can fully convey the sweetness of their note. Needless to say, I took them shopping. It was almost 3:00 by the time we entered the first store. (I had never been to these outlets before, so it took some time to find them)

We went to several outlets in Givat Shaul (Tamnun, Lord Kitch, Topline). We found almost everything that Y needed/wanted. But the stores did not have most of what we needed for A.

By this time, I was tired, cold, and hungry. We stopped in a small diner, and split two bowls of hot onion soup. It was just what we needed!

We went across the street to another store, "HaKol in one" (all in one), which did not have the items we wanted, but did have several other items that the kids needed.

By now, it was 8:00, and I was finished. I knew that the kids would understand if we went straight home. But I could not forget the image of A sitting and waiting patiently while Y searched for an hour for a skirt she liked. I just could not go home without trying to get A what she needed.

So, I took them to the mall. We did manage to get A a few items that she needed. To our dismay, though we went to several stores, we could not find her a pair of jeans (neither pants, nor skirts. Even if she would have foregone the flared bottoms, all the jeans were hip-huggers. We all agreed that the hip huggers are too low, and are immodest from behind when you sit down. None of the stores had "normal" jeans, that come up to the waist. We also could not find a simple jean skirt, that was short, but still covered the knees. In Givat Shaul, the skirts that fit her were too long. And in the mall, the skirts that fit her were too short.

At 9:30, I called it quits. I apologized to A, but I did not think we had anything to gain by hitting every store in the mall. Clearly, the popular styles were not for A. I was done!

On the way home, I made sure that A knew that I had gone the extra mile for her. I knew she was disappointed. I wanted her to know that we went to the mall for her, and that I appreciated her. I wanted to make sure that she did not feel that she was any less important. A did not complain, but I knew that she was sad. I wanted to help her recognize what she did get, not just in terms of the things we did purchase for her, but also in terms of the efforts we put into finding what she needed (even when we did not find them).

We arrived at home at 9:45. After greeting MD, who we had not seen for two days, we sat down to supper and then the girls got ready for bed.

Just before they went to bed, they came to me with another note:

Dear ima!
Thank you soooooooooo much! we are sooooooo greatful!
We know it wasnt easy for you and we wanted to thank you for doing in anyways!!!
We love you very berry much!
love love love (x100)
y & a!

(there were several pictures of happy girls all over the note, plus lots of hearts)

Both girls had already thanked me, so it was a very nice gesture. I hugged them again. Then they went to bed.

A few minutes later, A came out of her room. She wanted to tell me how much she appreciated the time we spent together today. Then she flashed me a beautiful smile.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Shopping Anyone?

It's strept...... and she wants to go shopping!

Now, let's set the stage here:

Child #1: Elder daughter, real girly-girl, always NEEDS new clothes ,LOVES shopping

Child #2: Youngest daughter, real girly-girl (though she does like soccer!), LOVES shopping

Mother: Does not relate to the clothes thing, does not care about fashion, HATES shopping

Add to the equation that child #1 does not feel so good, child #2 is majorly sick, and mommy is tired.... Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!

So, mean, old mommy put her foot down and insisted we go tomorrow.

Logistically, I would have preferred to go today, but I cannot see going shopping with 1 1/2 sick kids!! No matter how much they want to go (and insist that they will behave nicely!)

Unfortunately, I do need to take them because:
a. they really do need new Shabbat shirts
b. if I take them, we will go to an outlet and pay less
c. this way, I have at least some influence about the clothes they wear

Have I mentioned that I hate shopping?



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

It Makes a Momma Proud

A is sick. Really sick. Fever, sore throat, upset tummy, sick.

Tonight at candle lighting, MD put his arm around A. It was so sweet. She was so miserable, and he wanted to comfort her.

Then he put his other arm around Y.

He was so cute (and he knew it).

Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids treat each other kindly and lovingly.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Washing Machine

I need a new washing machine. :-(

My amazing fix-it man, who can put a band-aid on any appliance and make it work another few years, advised me to get a new one. This time, he says, it is not worth it. The machine needs new lugers, a new heating element, and who knows what else. It would cost almost as much to fix my machine as to buy a new one.

That is only partially true.

I could spend the same amount and get a cheap new machine. But a good machine will cost at least twice that much.

More difficult than the outlay of money, is finding the time and energy to do the research for a new machine (which brand, where to buy it, etc.)

Until now, we have been able to avoid these decisions. Our last two machines were "inherited." (one from friends who left the country, and another from friends who were "upgrading")

When you get a machine for free, you just take whatever there is. No thoughts required. That works for me!

So, anyone have a washing machine?



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

"You're the Best"

She burst through the door with a HUGE smile on her face.

"You're the best, Ima," she said, enveloping me in a warm hug.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

A few days ago, after I had gone through all the efforts to make sure she could attend the two day seminar, my daughter, at the last minute, wanted to know how bad it would be if she decided not to go. I decided not to force her, but I did explain some of the ramifications of not attending. In particular, I made sure she understood that when someone (like her mother) makes efforts of her behalf, and then she disregards those efforts, that person is less likely to make efforts on her behalf in the future. "That means I have to go," she declared, dejectedly.

Now, the truth is that her mother would probably make those efforts again. But the other people, like the head of the program, might not. And it is important that she value the efforts made by others on her behalf.

So, though I knew it was the right thing for her to go, I worried that she would not get the most out of it, especially if she did not have the right attitude.

Arriving late on the day of departure did not help. (Read about it here)

With a little trepidation, I called later that day, to check up on her. She sounded buoyant and energetic and did not really want to spend time on the phone talking to her mom. That was a good sign.

I did not hear from her again, until today, when she wanted to know if I loved her enough to pick her up....

Unfortunately, both Moshe and I were not feeling well today. So she had to take a bus home... in the rain.

Sill, given the way she bounded through the door, and gave me a non-stop play-by-play, it is pretty clear that she is glad she went. (It helps that she told me as much)

I just hope she remembers this the next time....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Chemo Day is moving to Thursday

I hope this works out.

For now, I am moving all my swimming classes to Monday. I think everyone can do it.

The big question is whether or not my son can do it.

He has sayarut (scouts) on Mondays. The madricha (counselor) cannot switch days, but she did agree to meet earlier. The logistics are tight, but he should be able to get to swimming on time for lessons.

It will be a bit stressful, until I am certain that everything is working out.

Meanwhile, I made the appointments....

So, want to make a date?



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

The Answer is "YES"

(To appreciate this post, read this first)

I was wrong.

The answer, apparently, was "yes."

I had a pretty lousy night. I woke up several times from acid reflux, caused by the chemo.

Instead of sleeping in, I was up at 8:00. (early for me, even on good days)

On my way to the bathroom, I noticed the light was off in Y's room. She often forgets to turn off her light when she leaves the house. I was glad she remembered. But, what if....

On a whim, I peeked into her room, to make sure she left all right.

AAAACKKKK!

There she was, still sleeping soundly, under her covers!

I quickly roused my daughter, and told her the time. (She had set her alarm for 6:00, so she could be out of the house by 6:45, in order to catch two buses and arrive on time, at 7:30!! The alarm did not go off.)

"Come on," I rushed her, "I'll take you now!"

I threw a skirt on over my pygamas, put on a scarf, grabbed my coat and was ready to go.

Then, a miracle occured: my teenage daughter was ready to leave the house within five minutes of waking.

On our way out the door, I called the person in charge of the seminar, to make sure they had not yet left. In my experience, groups like that never leave within half an hour of the designated time and often much later. Still, I didn't want to get there and discover they were gone.

He said they were about to leave, but would wait for us. "We'll be there in ten minutes," I told him, dashing out the door.

Y did not believe we would make it there that quickly, but I figured that it was "early" for a morning with no school. Sure enough, we made it before they were ready to leave! The girls were still loading the bus.

"Do I love you enough to take you in the morning?" I asked my daughter.

"Yes!" she answered, and disappeard into the melee.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA