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Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Bar Mitzvah is Coming -- ready or not!!

My “plan” had been to “get through” all the end-of-the-year stuff and then focus on my son's bar mitzvah.

Of course, discovering brain mets less than a week before school ended stuck a real wrench into that plan!

I started radiation the first day of summer vacation!!

The almost immediate exhaustion hit me by surprise. I kept telling myself, I’ll start working on the bar mitzvah tomorrow…. hopefully I’ll be less tired then….

Yeah, right.

So, here we are and time is running out. After weeks of nothing moving, everything is moving forward, full speed ahead!

I am too tired to keep up!!

Those of you who do not know me personally might have figured out by now that I am definitely a “Type A” personality (those of you, who do know me, figured this out a long time ago). Among other characteristics, I’m a control freak.

Now, knowing that you have to let go of some of that control and actually letting go are two completely different ballgames!

So many wonderful people offered to help me, but I was too tired to even get them organized!! I did not know what to do with all those general offers to help. (Though I did think to ask people to bake for the Kiddush -- at least my brain has not retired completely!)

Thanks to a session with my OT, I made a list of things-to-do and figured out what I could give over to someone else.

I gave over so much already, and I’m still giving over more!

I am grateful for all the help offered by friends, family and acquaintances.

My sister-in-law (SIL) called almost every day, begging for more things to do! She made a MILLION calls to halls, caterers, family, friends, etc. (Did I mention that she has seven small kids of her own?!?)

My sister, SIL, and mother-and-father-in-law (MIL & FIL) all took various kids shopping for clothes for the simcha (celebration) – not an easy task and one that I DREADED!!

Oh yeah, and did I mention that my in-laws, when they first learned of my diagnosis, three days before they were going to fly to America, CANCELLED their trip so they could be here to help us!!

I am truly blessed.

Meanwhile, my son knows his parsha (Torah reading) and his haftorah, and that is really all that matters!

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


A Soldier's Mother said...

Mazel tov on the upcoming bar mitzvah - it's a wonderful event, one that brings such amazing joy. I hope you have the energy to enjoy it and you get tons of good pictures. I have such a list of mistakes I made at each one...and yet all that anyone ever remembers is how wonderful it is.

I created an amazing huge picture of each boy - from the first pictures through the one with his tefillin - a collage, where I cut the pictures and blended it all together in a huge frame. Then, at the celebration, all his friends got to see him from birth to 13.

If you are interested, I'd be happy to create one like that for you - or help you create it. We could do it together in one afternoon...interested? If it's too much - know that the joy of having you there, after all you have been through - is something he will hold with him ALL his life and may you be at his son's bar mitzvah and even his grandson's bar mitzvah!


Val said...

It's true... the only gift will be for you to be there with him to share the day.

RivkA with a capital A said...

Hi Paula,

Thanks for the offer! R U talking about a Power Point presentation? ('cause my girls are doing that)

If not, I would love to take you up on your offer (I think).

If it's not too late, please give me a call (with so much on my plate, I know I will forget!).

Val -- yes and no. kids do have an idea of what they want and, where reasonable, I really hope to meet my son's expectations