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Monday, March 2, 2009

Purim Mania Has To Wait

The kids chose tonight to ask me for help making their costumes.

Why tonight?? (Please don't tell me because Purim is next week.... I know)

I was so tired. And grumpy.

And yet, I love helping my kids get ready for Purim. And they were being so creative and doing so much on their own.

But, then I had enough. And I wanted to stop. And I wanted to go to bed.

But I could not go to bed until they were ready for bed.

And I got grumpy. And aggitated. And annoyed.

And I told them to get ready for bed.

And they still kept coming for more help.


It was past their bed time. I told them during dinner that I was tired and needed to go to bed.

Why didn't I say "not tonight" when they started asking for help?

Why did I keep helping them until it was just too much and I lost my patience?

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


rickismom said...

Rivka, LOL, about your comment on my blog about reading halfway before realizing you had read it....
I discovered that I had been given a bit of misinformation, and the original post was not 100% true, so I changed it a bit, and added it to the end of something extra. Sio you really only got to the old stuff half way through!!!

Tell Your Kids
I is
P pashut

Sarah said...

why? because you want to be able to be with them. If you are anything like me, when I say "not tonight", I feel guilty with that, remembering how many "not tonight's" they get from me. It's a hard line to toe, giving and taking. Losing patience is nature's way of telling us we are pushing it. Tomorrow is another day, and it won't be Purim yet. :-)

Batya said...

Your kids love you and want to be with you as much as they can. When you're tired like that offer to have them work around you and you should just rest on the couch near them.

Anonymous said...

I can very much relate to your feelings. My kids tend to wait until 11 at night to come ask me to take care of something. I feel like just saying, "Sorry, I'm off duty now" and I always think, can't this wait for another day? Sometimes I do ask them that question and then they'll either agree that it can wait or explain to me why I need to be "on duty" just a little longer until I've taken care of their request.


Anonymous said...

You didn't say 'no' because you are a giving person, especially to your children. And because you push yourself so much, you wanted to push yourself that night too. Especially for something as fun as making purim costumes. :-)


RivkA with a capital A said...

Ricki's Mom -- no wonder I did not recognize it right away.... now I don't feel quite so foolish...

By us, Purim is always pashut (simple)

But even a simple Purim takes some effort....

Sarah -- the "guilt factor" is definitely a significant part of the problem. I have to figure out how to set limits without feeling bad about it.

Muse -- it's true. In this case, resting on the couch would not have allowed me to meet their needs. Also, when I try to "just rest" on the couch, I end up falling asleep within minutes!

SS -- this is a major problem!! I beg them not to ask for things at the last minute! Why is it that they only remember what they need when it is past their bedtime or when they are about to walk out the door?!?

I would love to have a sign with my "office hours." I would point to it and announce that I am off duty!! I guess in this way I am like the Israeli, who will yell at you for coming after hours, but will help you anyway. (as opposed to the very polite American who will explain, while smiling all the time, that it is just too late...)

Ah, well... usually their needs really can't wait... though they could have asked earlier...

Na'amah -- true. but the end result wasn't so pretty....

Today was a lot better...