After posting, I handled the stress a little calmer.
I also called Moshe, and he took over. (Tag-team parenting is the best!)
Later in the afternoon, my child, who was reluctantly doing what I asked, paused to announce "I just want to know when I am done!"
I realized that that is a very important piece of the puzzle.
My child was also extremely frustrated.
This child does not deal well with transitions. I know that. But I never applied that knowledge to household chores.
This particular child needs to know what is expected and when no more will be required.
I tend to assign another task, as soon as the previous task is finished. So there is no clear ending. The child has no way of knowing how many tasks need to be done and when they will be finished. This causes my child unecessary stress.
I need to set clearer guidelines as to what are my expectations, and to give my child (children) a concrete "finish line."
If I have several tasks to assign, it might be helpful to give this child a written list, and say "when you have completed all the tasks on this list, I will not require anything more of you until Shabbat begins."
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,