Little Things

It's the little things that make us "lose it."

I can handle cancer.

But when I go to the municipality and the manager is rude to me, I break down crying in front of a hundred people.

I can handle cancer, because I devote 100% of my resources to handling cancer.

There are no resources left to handle the little things.

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My son, he's doing great too. He can handle having a mom with cancer.

But, today, when he needed to get to school by a certain time, and he did not know who would be bringing him, he got really anxious.

This afternoon, he did not want to leave school, because he did not know how he was getting back. (School ended at 12:00 and he had to be back by 3:30)

I took it for granted that I would be taking him.

But I guess I did not convey that clearly to my son.

When he got home, he was really upset that I had not told him what our plans were.

I cannot fault him for being worried. Every two out of three Tuesdays, I am not home when he gets home, because I am at chemo. And, at least one, if not two, of those two Tuesdays, I come home quite late. (after 3:30)

Furthermore, when I do, finally, come home from chemo, I crash. I am tired. I go straight to bed.

So, my son does not take it for granted that I will be available on a Tuesday afternoon and able to take him back to school.


My son is a normal, little kid. But he does not have a "normal" mother.

So, a little thing, like getting to school by 3:3o, is suddenly monumentally important. (Never mind that these school events NEVER start on time)

It is the importance of getting there on time, which catches us off guard, and reminds us how precarious our childrens' security is.

It is the little things, about which we need to be so careful, that keep our children ballanced and their world stable.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA