I am still on speaking terms with God. :-)
That's not to say that I'm not having a bit of a crisis. But, so far, no major crisis of faith...
I don't understand why this is happening. But, as I always say, things could be worse. So I am grateful that the cancer was discovered when it was and that I live in a time when there are really good drugs that can keep me alive for a long time.
Still, I wanted to do something more.
I wanted to respond to my situation in a religious way. I already asked everyone I know to pray for me. And I am on a number of Tehillim lists (groups who recite all of Psalms in someone's merit).
But what should I do? What could I take on without it being too much for me at this time?
I didn't want to take on something that I couldn't keep up. So, I decided that I would focus on something that I do already, and try to do it "better". So, I am trying to say brachot (blessings) out loud and with more kavanah (focused intention).
Many years ago, when I was in college, I accompanied a friend to her family's home for Shabbat. After I said a bracha (blessing) quietly, her father asked why I had said the bracha quietly and denied him the ability to answer "amen", which would give him the merit of having participated in the bracha. I didn't have an answer then, and that question has stayed with me for years.
I still feel a little silly, saying the brachot out loud. But I am working on it. :-)
Friday, August 10, 2007
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6 comments:
I noticed that - and I didn't think it was silly at all. I just thought - "Oh - I ought to be doing that."
Love,
Miryam
ok another thing that my kids and i thought wed work on this summer and hasnt really happened. can i 'use' you and tell them were doing this to help you? your posts are really good for getting me into the elul spirit. all the best faith
I think this idea is great.
I believe that it makes a difference.
When we bless - we are blessed.
When we give thanks - we have more things to thank for.
When I take care to thank (God, the universe, whatever)for what he/she/it has already done for me and IS doing for me, with true KAVANA and finding the way to see the half full part of the glass - I am doubly blessed.
basmat
Wow, this is so cool!
You can definitely "use" me with your kids. That would be awesome!
This makes me feel like I can still help make the world a better place, even now, when I'm so self-focussed!
This is amazing!
you are my friend who told me that you learned some parenting from me. i am so honored by that.
last week, i took care of nurit's kids because gan was closed. by the end of the 3 days, the kids and i had achieved great love and mutual understanding, but the house hadn't gotten tidied up. this is what it was like when i was raising my own kids. i would put mucho energy into their care, and the house, etc,(read husband),would get put on indefinite hold.as much as i am sorry for putting my life partner on hold, it was okay that i did it that way, because that was/is the way i am, and what i do get done, i do wonderfully, and don't have to feel inadequate next to those people who have clean houses and cakes and are ready for shabbat by friday sundown. i did and am doing a great job. although, i do feel sorry for my husband who had to fend for himself a lot.
don't you just love me??? i love you too. and i learn from you too.
love to all of your loved ones from us.
bracha
hi! what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me, too. sometimes its a bigger challenge, and a more significant one, to try to do something you already do, but with more kavvanah. i find if i take something new on, its easy to do it with kavanah for awhile.
of course when i say a bracha out loud so as to get the family to say amen, i do it just to annoy them...
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