Lost & Found -- Like Mother, Like Child

This morning, it was cold & rainy.

I went to grab my jacket on my way out.... and discovered that it wasn't there.

After a brief search of strange places where I might have deposited my jacket in a moment of confusion, I realized that it was not to be found.

I grabbed a thick sweater, prayed not to get soaked, and started mentally retracing yesterday's steps.

I figured out where I must have left it.

Indeed, my jacket was there, and I was able to pick it up with no problem.

All the way there and back, I couldn't help thinking:
"I am just like my kids.....
No wonder they keep forgetting their coats/bags/sweaters/you-name-it.....
They are just like their mother."


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Crockpots -- not just for Shabbos anymore

Thanks to Robin, for inspiring this post. Check out her blog Around the Island


My childhood memories of dinner were not always pleasant. I hated most vegetables, and my mom made me eat them because "they are good for you." The thing is, I have these memories because my mom made a proper dinner every night, complete with protein, carbohydrates, and vegetables. My kids will not have these memories.

Dinner is the bane of my existence.
(as are sandwiches for aruchat esser (10:00 am snack) -- more on that in another post)

The thing is, I am tired when dinner time arrives. And I don’t really like cooking to begin with. And the only way I can consistently get my kids to eat vegetables is in soup. So, I am always struggling to put something nutritious onto our dinner table.

One of my most difficult dinner days is Mondays. I teach swimming on Mondays, and we don’t get home until late.

Last year, I decided I needed a better solution for Monday night dinners.

Then, I had an epiphany: The Crock-Pot (slow cooker)

We received our slow cooker as a wedding gift from a good friend and I used it for making pareve (no meat/dairy) chullent (unique traditional Shabbat stew).

I wanted to keep the cooker pareve, but I had a radical idea: I could use it for cooking pareve meals during the week.

This might seem pretty straight forward to you, but it took me over ten years to come up with this idea.

The first time I used the slow cooker for something other than chullent, I wasn’t sure what I was doing.

My theory was: if you throw a bunch of vegetables in a pot with a lot of water, and slow cook them all day, the net result has to be good.

So that’s what I did. I took all the vegetables we had in the house, cut them up small, added water and set the slow cooker on low.

When we returned from the pool that evening, and entered the main stairwell, there was a wonderful smell coming from someone’s apartment.

Imagine our delight when we entered our apartment and realized that the delicious smell was coming from our home!

It was amazing!!

I started making stews every week. I experimented with different combinations of legumes. I often added TVP (textured vegetable protein) to add protein. I "mixed and matched".

Everything I made was delicious! I couldn’t go wrong!

All I needed was a half hour or so to cut up vegetables and sort legumes.

As I cut and sorted, I dumped everything into the pot. Then, when the pot was ¾ of the way full, I filled up the rest of the pot with pre-boiled water from the kum-kum (electric kettle that all Israelis have).

That’s it.

Magic.

I learned a few things along the way:

If there are legumes, the stew needs longer to cook (I don’t pre-soak them). Beans and peas take the longest to get soft. Lentils take less time. Red lentils take the least amount of time. If I get home and the legumes are a little too crunchy, I cheat. I take out my zapper and blend the soup.

Once, I left the leftovers in the pot, added more vegetables, and kept it cooking. The stew was even better the next day.

I have this idea that in the "olden days" people used to do that -- keep a pot over the hearth and just keep adding more vegetables.

The constant cooking heats the house as well.

Warm stew in a warm home -- what could be better on a cold winter day?


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven’t made my Monday stew in a while.

Since my recent diagnosis, getting a nutritious dinner together became even more of a challenge. As tired as I was before, there is no comparison with the tiredness I feel from the chemo.

Then, it got easier -- thanks to friends who help out by making dinner for my family. Now I know that at least once or twice a week, the kids have a proper dinner, including vegetables.

We also hired someone, who helps us out with cleaning and a bit of cooking. She makes really good soup, with plenty of vegetables. And fresh salad too.

Recently, in addition to trying to provide balanced meals, I’ve made more of an effort to sit with my kids and have a “sit-down meal” together (rather than “catch as catch can” meals with everyone fending for themselves). I don’t talk on the phone and I sit with them, even when I’m tired, even when I'm not hungry. It makes a difference.

Yesterday my son actually thanked me for serving “real dinners” lately.

It made me feel good.

I don’t succeed every day. But it’s nice to know that there are some successes along the way, and that someone notices the difference.


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

What a Day!

Today started off with great promise!

I managed to get up and get out this morning. I went to a 9:00 art class at Ma'agan. I was running late, and arrived at 9:30.

Lucky for me: the class only begins at 9:30. I wasn't even late!

I wondered if my friend, who had her last chemo session yesterday, would make it to class. She did. That made me happy too! We spent the next 2 1/2 hourse working on our next art project. Fun!

Then I met a cousin, who is in Israel for a visit. We went to lunch and had a GREAT time! She is such an interesting woman!! I really enjoy spending time with her.

I had such a good time, that I lost track of the time, and had to run to pick up my kids and get to the pool.

I should have known that the tide was turning when I ran into three different traffic jams on the way to the pool. Needless to say, I was late. This time, for real.

It wouldn't have been so bad (I was only a few minutes late), had there not been a few more surprises along the way....

My discovery:

A had left her favorite purple fleece sweatshirt in school.

Lucky for A: she remembered and ran back to school to get the sweatshirt.

Unlucky for A: she left the sweatshirt on the sidewalk when she got into my car.


Next discovery:

MD had found the library book he had left at Ofek (gifted & talented program, where he is learning all sorts of cool things), turned that book in, and took out a new book from the library.

Unlucky for MD: he left the new book on a stone wall when he got into my car.
(he doesn't remember the name of the book, but it did have rats on the cover)


My dilemma: do I ignore all this and dash into the water?


NOOOOOOOOOO!


I went straight to the office to call Moshe for help.

Unlucky for me: the office was locked!

Did I mention that the battery in my mobile phone had died?

So I went searching for another phone. Found one. Then spent over five minutes trying to describe to Moshe where the kids left their belongings so that he could call someone else (some friend or family living in the Rova) and describe to them where to search for our kids missing items.

By the time I made it to the pool, I was a full 15 minutes late! (which might have been worth it, had the friend actually found the sweatshirt or the book. However, despite her valiant efforts, she did not find either). Meanwhile, I am grateful to the very understanding mom, whose child only had half her lesson! (although it was an EXCELLENT 15 minute lesson)

Maybe things were looking up? Not.

Despite having GREAT classes, there was more "fun" in store.

Next discovery:

When we arrived at the pool, I noticed that MD was about to leave his winter coat in the car.

Lucky for me: I reminded him to bring his coat to the pool (so he would not be cold later in the evening).

Unlucky for me: Someone took his coat (by mistake?).


Did I mention that it was a really nice coat, in good condition, with a hood still attached?

Please note: the hood was detachable and it was still attached!
(If you have kids, you know what a miracle that is!)

We searched for an hour! Nothing.

Then I insisted on driving to the Rova to see if the kids could find their other stuff (even though my friend had searched very thoroughly). Nothing.


We arrived home tired, hungry and discouraged.


I called my cousin, to let her know that I had discovered her nice hand-bag in my car.

(nice to know that we are not the only ones who leave things behind....)

"The only thing I need from the bag is my book," she told me, "my husband and I are reading it for our book club."

Did I mention that, on the way to meet her, I picked up a copy of the book my book club is reading? (how cool is that?)

"If you could mail me the book," she continued, "I would appreciate it. Keep the bag."


What a day!
Net Gain: 1 hand-bag
Net Loss: 1 sweatshirt, 1 library book, 1 winter coat


And the day started out with so well....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Positive Parenting Moments

In the middle of an interesting conversation, I excused myself from our Shabbat table. I was so tired; I felt that I couldn't sit up any longer. I just wanted to lie down on the couch and participate from there. That lasted a few minutes. Inevitably, the need to sleep prevailed.

I slept soundly for a while, waking occasionally to settle backgammon disputes between my two youngest children. (The eldest was away this Shabbat)

Eventually, the heavy weight of exhaustion lifted. By now, my two kids were playing nicely by my side. I realized that I had the opportunity for some precious “quality time” with my kids.

I had already played backgammon with them earlier in the day, so I called out: “who wants to read to me?”

My youngest jumped at the opportunity. She read one of her short, 8 page English booklets that she received from school. She even read it the full three times, which meant that by the last reading, she read smoothly, with expression. Great!

Now for the real challenge: could I get my son to read to me too?

I went to the bookshelf and picked out one of the books that I had borrowed from friends who somehow managed to get their sons to read in English. Meanwhile, my son brought another book – one of my Bloom County collections.

I started to question his choice, but then thought better of it. If he chose that to read, then go ahead. (why squash his enthusiasm?) He read the first comic strip. He smiled a bit, but didn’t laugh (not surprising, the humor is way over his head). I turned to him and asked: “did you think that was funny?” He answered: “not really.” Gently, I suggested that the humor in that book was for grown-ups and that he might enjoy a kid’s book more….

I picked up the book that I had chosen and, wonder-of-wonders, he read two and a half pages before requesting that I read as well. Wow! I read the remaining two pages of the chapter. And we both felt great! (and curious about what happens next)

Progress!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Advantages to Cancer: #1 Family Comes to Visit

Towards the end of his last visit, my father announced that he intended to visit again, during Chanukah.

I wasn't certain what triggered his desire to come again, so soon. Was it because of the frustration he felt about not having had enough "quality time"? Or was it because he realized how important these visits are for my kids (and me)?

When my kids were born, my mom came to visit every year, but my dad only came once every two years. As Y neared four, my dad determined that he had to visit more often, in order to build a close relationship with the kids.

For a short while, he came to visit, with my mom, twice a year. But then the visits dwindled to once a year, and occasionally once every year and a half.

Maintaining these long distance relationships is tough!

Of course, email helps. And now the kids are old enough for real phone conversations. But nothing is like being there in person.

So I just assumed that my dad was now returning to his previous decision that more frequent visits are good for maintaining long distance relationships.

And then…. it occurred to me that maybe he was coming because I have cancer.

So I asked him.

Well, what do you know?

He decided to come because I have cancer.

I wasn’t really happy about that reason… but I was still happy for him to visit.

I get the bad stuff no matter what. I might as well enjoy the good stuff.

Advantages to Cancer:
#1 family comes to visit

(one day I’m going to make an actual list)


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Computer Problems

I couldn't post for a while.

First, something mysterious was wrong.

Then, when that was solved, some virtual "spam-prevention robot" blocked my blog.

Finally, a "real person" checked out my blog and "cleared" me.

So, there you have it.

Hope to get back to posting more regularly (2-3 times a week).


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

First Time for Everything

This Friday, for the first time EVER, my Shabbat Table was actually set (thanks to my kids) before candle lighting!


Even more amazing, all the food was cooked and on the plata (hot plate) with time to spare!


OK, so I had help.


But still, everything was ready when we lit candles for Hanukah and Shabbat.


When my family (Moshe, the kids, my parents and my sister) gathered around our Shabbat Table, the atmosphere was calm and relaxed.


I wasn't feeling so well, so I lay down on the couch and listened to my family singing Shalom Aleichem (special song welcoming the Shabbat angels) and the other special Shabbat songs that we sing before our Shabbat meal. (it was so relaxing, I even fell asleep for a few minutes)


I awoke as my eldest daughter leaned over to receive her bracha (blessing). I gave brachot (blessings) to all of our children. Then, I (reluctantly) started the process of really getting up.


I was still lying down, wrapped warmly in my blanket, when the words "the plata isn't hot" penetrated my haze.


Oh, no!


I could hear myself informing everyone: "We forgot to plug it in."


I could not believe it, even though I was the one stating the fact.


We had done everything.... except plug in the plata.


This was another "first" -- I never forgot that step before. (Usually, I am neurotic and check the "on-light" on the plata, after I plug it in, just to "make sure")


A few seconds of panic seemed to seize all the grown-ups.


Then, in my quiet haze, the solution was simple; no one would starve.


The food for the evening was piping hot; we would have plenty of hot food for dinner. And, for lunch, we would eat cold food. It would be fine.


It wasn't ideal, but no one complained.


Moshe made kiddush (the blessing over the wine); we washed (our hands); and I made hamotzi (the blessing over the bread).


As we were munching on the delicious whole wheat challot (special Shabbat loaves) that my sister brought, I had an epiphany: we could put the chullent (unique traditional stew that remains on the plata all night and is served for Shabbat lunch) on our neighbor's plata.


Moshe went down to make the request and our neighbor's graciously agreed.


We would have hot food for lunch, after all.


But it really didn't matter.


With my father, mother, sister, husband, son and daughters all around me, I didn't need hot food to feel warm inside.




Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA