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Sunday, December 30, 2007

Coffee Klatch (read: Chemo Klatch) -- Final Chapter

I went for a CT today.

I don't get the iodine injection, since I am now allergic to iodine. And, half-way through the disgusting barium drink, I was told that it wasn't necessary to drink any more. So, the process was much easier than in the past.

My mom kept me company, which was nice.

We finished so early, we decided to go visit our friend, in the oncology ward.

We went up to her room and she wasn't there.

Her bed was empty (without sheets, even) and there did not seem to be any personal effects.

I went to the nurse's desk. "Where's S?" I asked, uncertain if she had changed rooms or if the family had decided to take her home.

"Who are you?" asked the nurse.

"Friends," I answered.

"You'd better speak with her daughters," the nurse answered.

I asked another question, and the nurse repeated: "you should speak with her daughters."

I thought to myself, she must have gotten worse, so they decided to take her home.

On our way out, I met someone else who works there, and knows me as well.

She told me directly.

S passed away this morning, a few hours earlier.

It was so fast. Her diagnosis, her deterioration, her death.

Cancer is really a horrible disease.

I am different.

I have a different type of cancer.

My cancer is responding to treatment.

I am young.

I am strong.

I have a great attitude.

Blah, blah, blah....

Cancer Sucks.

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


Robin said...

I'm so sorry RivkA. My thoughts will be with her family, and with you as well. Even with all the differentiators, that's got to be a hell of a kick in the teeth.

Anonymous said...


you are young you are strong, and you have a great attitude. keep going, mourn your friend with love and all the wonderful things you have shared... it absolutely sucks, it is scary, and you are doing THE BEST YOU CAN, which is amazing.

i read everything you post and your strength gives me strength, and teaches me, and lots of others, a lot.

keep going....

artist in aderet (you know the one!)

RivkA with a capital A said...

thanks Robin.

it's just sad....

Hey artist from aderet,

yup, I know who you are!


Anyway, I'm ok.

Anonymous said...

Hi RivkA,
I don't know if you remember me - I worked with Moshe a few years ago.
I read your posts regularly, and know what you're talking about - We're fighting cancer with our 11 year old daughter for over 2 years now (treatment, 4 quite months, relapse..).
A month ago we've lost a friend (from the kids department in Hadassah) who died from the same cancer my daughter has.
This was one of the most difficult days we've had.

What keeps us all keep going is the fact that we have no other choice, and our daughter's endless spirit.

RivkA with a capital A said...

Hi Na'ama,

Please send me your daughter’s name so that I can add her to my tefillot.
(You can email it privately to coffeeandchemo@gmail.com)

As hard as it is to deal with cancer myself, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have a daughter with cancer.

My sister is constantly reminding me how difficult my illness is on our mother. (And I am an adult)

I am sure your daughter must be quite an extraordinary child.

Without a doubt, your love and support help her keep her spirits up.

Living with an illness is certainly a challenge. If we are lucky, the good days outnumber the bad. Thank God, children are unbelievable resilient. They can get used to anything. And they can enjoy life under the direst circumstances.

As a parent, it is hard for me that my children will have a “mother-with-cancer” for most of their lives. But they are real troupers, and are doing OK.

It’s hard to have cancer. And it’s hard when someone else has cancer. And it’s probably the hardest to have a child with cancer. But children are strong. And they are remarkable. And they teach us more than we can ever teach them.

I wish your daughter good health and long life. Refuah Shlaymah!

Thank you for sharing.