The last meeting. I thought everyone would be there.
But, this is a cancer support group.
E, P, Tz, and Y all could not make it because they were not feeling well.
There is a risk in a group like ours.
We all have metastasis. We are all living with cancer. And we are all battling cancer, in our own private wars.
As part of this group, we bear witness to each others' battles. We witness the wins. We witness the losses.
We all know, in the deepest recesses of our hearts, that we will face similar battles.
We all know, that eventually, barring a miracle, we will lose the war.
We lock these thoughts away.
We don't think about the final battles.
We live our lives and pretend we do not have cancer.
In our support group, we do not pretend. We talk about living with cancer, how it affects us, our families, our friends. We talk about the rollercoaster of ups and downs. We talk about our fears.
We laugh a lot. Sometimes we cry.
In our support group, some women are having a harder time than others. Some women are not doing so well.
At our last meeting, one women questioned: "is this good for us?"
I understand the question.
We try so hard to live as if our lives are "normal." Does it help us to expose ourselves to other women, whose situation may be worse than our own, and, therefore, force us to confront a future that we wish to ignore?
It is complicated. It is a package deal.
Clearly, we do think it is worthwhile, because we keep coming back.
Who else can understand what it is like to be living with cancer?
What is the alternative?
To handle this alone?
It is too much. It is too hard.
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,