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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Medical Update (Brain Mets -- Stereotactic Radiotherapy)

May 26th.

That's the day -- all day.

They will drill 4 little holes in my head, they will screw my head into a frame, they will send me for a CT, they will do some calculations, and then they will zap each of the two tumors in my head, for about half an hour each.

I will be there from 7 in the morning (just getting up that early is torture!) until some time in the evening. 

One day.  One hour.

One day in the hospital.  One hour of radiation.

No big deal, right?

So, why do I just want to curl up under my covers and cry?

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


Devorah said...

Fear. Of course you are afraid! It is only normal to have such feelings!

Keep in mind that just like Hashem was with you until now, holding you, hugging you and taking care of you, He will continue to hold your hand and pull you through this. May you feel Him close to you all the time!

I'm davening for you and hope that May 26th will be a successful, productive day and you come out clean and healed!!

mikimi said...

fear and even more so the fear of the unknown - "will I be cured?"

G6 said...

Dear RivkA -
I'm praying that Hashem gives you the strength to face the day and that you feel him beside you all the way.
Don't concentrate on the things you cannot control.
Concentrate on the blog posts you will compose afterwards :)

adena said...

ugh! that does not sound like a fun day at all! no wonder you want to hide under the covers! first, they weren't even supposed to look into your brain...then they found something...now you have to deal with this? feh!

Liba said...

We are davening.

Minnesota Mamaleh said...

sending so many good thoughts your way. just know that they're coming from everywhere and imagine them surrounding you, from the inside out. as always, all the best.

Mottel said...

Thinking about you . . . Stay strong - we love you!

torontopearl said...

May your kavanah, may your readers' tefillot, and may Hashem's
lovingkindness help you get through the next difficult hurdle.
Sending you strength through the blogosphere and may you have a refuah shlema.

Batya said...

Refuah Shleimah, darling. G-d willing it will be very successful.

Bernie said...

Fear of the unknown is normal my friend and they are radiating your brain.....I know you will do very well, you have been so strong and we are all praying for you.....Hugs

Shelly said...

Refuah Shleima. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Robin said...

Refuah shlema my dear friend. You'll get through this and get your groove back and be on to bigger and better things before you know it - you have to, I've already got your tent site picked out for next year's festival and I'm not taking no for an answer ;-).

toby said...

It certainly seems reasonable and logical to be afraid of something like that! We will be thinking of you all day on the 26th. You are one of the strongest people I know - you will make it through this! Happy, healing thoughts coming at you, full speed ahead!!

Anonymous said...

((RivkA)))) - that meant a hug.
Love Ariela

Anonymous said...

I pray for you everyday....and will be thinking of you

rickismom said...

Of coarse you feel like crawling under the covers!

rickismom said...

it said HHUUGGSS!(my comment above)

Leah Goodman said...

Ach. It's a Wednesday! :(

Which means I will probably be in Haifa with Ephraim that day.

I'll know for sure this Wednesday. If you'd like I can come after. Or I can come Thursday, just to hang out post-trauma... whatever you want.

Let me know anything you need... I'll do my best to provide.

And to be honest, just having an MRI of my brain was enough to throw me into a tailspin without other scary goings-on...(they were trying to find a cause for my migraines) so you're pretty much a hero.


Gila said...

As everyone else said--because it is frightening!

Anything I can do to help? Do you need a lift to the hospital?

Rahel Jaskow said...

RivkA, I'm sending hugs and prayers and good energy your way. Will you be wanting company before? After?

Bee said...

because you are human and it is human to fear this unknown. RivkA, if you can, concentrate all the positive and loving thoughts that are and will be beaming your way and they and the radiation will do amazing things. Sending you positive happy healing thoughts.

Staying Afloat said...

I've got the first 10 perakim of tehillim. Who's next?

Rahel Jaskow said...

Anyone care to join me in Perek Shirah?

Linda said...

holding you in prayer, RivkA -- God loves you and will lift you up!

Anonymous said...

Bring your laptop - there is wifi in the dept. Bring books. Bring a cd - we can put it in for you when you're having the treatment.
It will go well, and in 2 weeks it will all be over. Try not to worry about it too much. There really is excellent, experienced staff involved.
Until I can give you a real hug, here is a virtual one:)
Love tamar

Sarah said...

I have experience with wanting to curl up under the covers and cry, though not because of fear or dread for a serious procedure like this. "I suggest" (remember? "I suggest"?) that you let yourself curl up under the covers and cry. Don't ignore your feelings. Let yourself vent them. Then after an hour or three of crying you'll feel better and get up and do stuff and start to feel more calm.

Praying for you!

RivkA with a capital A said...

Devorah, TorontoPearl, & Batya -- amen!

Mikimi, Liba, Minnesota Mamaleh, Mottel, Bernie, Shelly, Toby, Ariela, Anon, Bee, & Linda -- thanks!

G6 -- thanks for the bracha and the laugh!

Adena -- yeah! feh!

Robin -- nice! but do you have someone who will drive us??

Ricki's Mom -- *snif*

LeahGG, Gila, & Rahel -- Wednesday, I'm covered. But Thursday might be nice....
1. Leah -- you're in charge of milkshakes
2. Gila -- you're in charge of making me laugh
3. Rahel -- you're in charge of massages

Staying Afloat & RAhel -- THANK YOU!

Tamar -- THANKS!!! I did not know about the wifi. That's all I need!! Who needs books when you've got internet? (though I'm reading a great book right now)

I never thought to bring my own CD! Now I need to decide what to listen to!!

Sarah -- I wish I could do it. I can't. I wish I could just cry and cry and cry and get all that sadness out. The tears just don't flow.

I wonder if you can laugh out all that sadness.... I know you can laugh out stress.

Leah Goodman said...

Ok. Thursday is reserved for you.

Will you be home? Do you have a milchig blender?

RivkA with a capital A said...

Leah -- you are the best!

I should be home, but it's always a good idea to call first!

And, yes, I have a milchig blender, though we have to use a plate to cover it, 'cause the top broke.... (we have three semi-working (i.e. broken) blenders, all broken in different ways, and all incompatible with each other!!)

Leah Goodman said...

ok... I'll give you a call mon-tues for some logistical issues.

in the vanguard said...

Dearest Rivka,

Israel medicine, likes much of Israeli culture, likes to follow America, like a dog follows its master.

America has for well over 60 years now encouraged radiation, surgery and pharmaceutical drug-pushing chemotherapy to fight diseases, especially cancer. So much faith is given the medical establishment, to the extent that should someone come and try to suggest a money motive that lies ulterior to this policy, they'd think the person nuts.

Anyhow, to cut to the bone, on this issue, then, I'll blurt it out, despite the little tolerance I have for time spent doing it. There ARE better ways to treat AND cure cancer. I suggest you look up, study and understand the therapy proposed by Dr Max Gerson. Therein you'll find a window of opportunity to once again believe in Hashem's miracle of a body He gave us. With the right therapy, the body can cure itself, without resort to chemo, surgery & radiation. It's only that you never get to hear about this unbelievable man because, like so many others who tried to buck the system with non-patentable formulas, their proponents are shunned, made out to be quacks, legally harassed and even killed - to shut them up.

Kol tuv.

RivkA with a capital A said...

At The Edge -- Israel is actually one of the leading countries in cancer research.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about Max Gerson's therapy: "The therapy is considered scientifically unsupported and potentially hazardous,and has been blamed for the deaths of patients who substituted it for standard medical care."

Complementary medicine (treatment in conjunction with conventional medicine) might be helpful; alternative medicine (treament excluding conventional medicine) can be dangerous or, worse, fatal.