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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"I don't need to talk with anyone else. I talk to you."

Unlike me, my kids are pretty private about my cancer.  They want to be like everyone else.  They are normal teens.

More than anything, they do not want anyone's pity.

My cancer is not a secret;  they just do not talk about it.

Last night, my eldest and I had one of our infamous, late night, heart to hearts.  At one point, she threw out a sentence mentioning the cancer.  I picked up the ball, and threw it back in her court, gently asking her to elaborate.  She caught the ball.

I cannot share more details.  Like I said, my kids are private.

I am grateful that she talks to me.  I am impressed by her maturity and her ability to identify, and share, her feelings.  She knows she can talk to me about anything.... and she does.  I am so thankful.

My daughter once asked me to delete a few lines I had written about her.  "Your blog is about your feelings," she clarified, "not mine."

She's right.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

7 comments:

SuperRaizy said...

She IS right. She also sounds smart, mature, and thoughtful.

Baila said...

I think we all walk a fine line when it comes to our families and blogs. They are so much a part of our lives that they give our blogs more depth...and yet we have to respect their privacy.

Yoga Unites for Living Beyond Breast Cancer said...

So glad you posted this entry--it's good to hear things from a different perspective. So often kids are left out of the discussion, but they need support too. Thanks for this reminder!

Batya said...

Wise mother, wise daughter and wiser mother.
Refuah Shleimah!

Alison C. said...

So lovely! Great mom and clearly a great daughter. I hope my daughter and I will be able to communicate like this as she gets older - and I hope I can be as respectful of her as you clearly are of your daughter.

rivster said...

I'm with Baila. It is a line we all straddle as bloggers. And, like in my case, as rabbis. How much of my kids' lives do I use in sermons, articles, etc?

What I got out of this was the trust that you and your daughter have established with one another. I hope that my kids feel this comfortable sharing their concerns with me as yours do with you.

RivkA with a capital A said...

Raizy -- She is!

Baila -- yup, that basically sums it up.

Yoga Unites for LBBC -- my pleasure. thanks for visiting my blog! I checked out your blog too, but couldn't "find you."

Batya -- please clarify "wiser mother" -- do you mean that my daughter will be a wiser mother?

Alison -- I constantly remind my children that they can tell me anything. I want them to know that the door is always open, even if they choose not to enter. Good luck.

Rivster -- It's true for "regular" conversations as well. Sometimes, I find myself about to share something with a girlfriend and have to stop myself, because I realize my child would not want me to share that story (no matter how cute it is).