We were in the hospital for FIVE days!
How much do you really want to know?
Friday, we were in the ER, where the surgeons and urologist deliberated over the source of Moshe's pain and which department should be managing his case. This went on for HOURS.
I was relieved that the head surgeon, on duty, insisted we take things slowly and not rush into surgery.
At 1:30 AM, they finally decided to keep Moshe in the ER. At around 2:30 AM, the nurse (an angel!) broke "protocol" and let me sleep on an extra bed. (Thank God!!)
Just a few hours later, EARLY Saturday morning (5:00 AM is an ungodly hour!), Moshe was moved to the surgical ward. Thus ended of my sleep for the night! (if you can call 2-3 hours a "night's sleep"!)
Shabbat morning, Moshe still felt pain, but, by the afternoon, he "only" experienced mild discomfort.
I was convinced, based on his dramatic improvement, that he would be released on Sunday morning.
Saturday night, Moshe's parents came to visit, and I went home to get a good night's sleep.
I actually felt so confident that Moshe would be OK, that, after I took care of our kids, I went out to a special Melaveh Malkah at our shul.
In the morning, I woke up early, at 6:00 AM, (still an ungodly hour, if you ask me) to wake up the kids. Then, still exhausted, I went back to sleep....
Only to be woken by a phone call from Moshe. "I had the most miserable night," shared my husband, the man who never complains.
Oh, the flood of guilt!!! (Never mind that Moshe would not want me to feel guilty! I was out having fun while he was suffering! I should have been there to help and protect him!!)
I jumped out of bed, and started gathering what I needed to take to the hospital. I was really tired, and not moving so fast, when I got another call. "They doctors want to do this procedure...."
I dropped everything I could and did my best to get to Moshe, as soon as possible. It still took me over an hour! By the time I arrived, the doctors had already left the ward.
We learned later, that the doctors interpreted Moshe's questions as objecting to the procedure. In fact, Moshe asked questions simply to try to understand what the doctors wanted to do, and why.
The delay turned out to be a gam zu l'tovah (good thing).
Moshe had had a low fever on Saturday night, indicating an infection and possible danger to his kidney. That was why the doctors wanted to rush him into this procedure. But, having "missed" that first available slot, he had to wait. By the end of the day, there was no time and we were informed that the procedure would be the following morning (unless he had more fever, in which case they would rush him to surgery, even in the middle of the night).
I stayed with Moshe that night. (I was not about to abandon my husband a second night in a row, when he clearly might need an advocate!)
I was prepared to sleep in a chair all night (not so good for my back, but what can you do?). No need; God was really good to me. There was no patient in the bed next to Moshe's, so I put on sheets, and crashed.
We pulled the curtains around us, and I took off my headscarf -- it was so hot in the room, I would sleep better without it. I also knew the nurses would see my bald head and, hopefully, be less quick to evict me.
At one point, a nurse came in and gently explained that it really was not acceptable, as they might need the bed. I assured her that if a new patient needed the space, I would move right away. God bless her (another angel), she let me stay, and I was able to sleep through the night (mostly).
Monday, since Moshe had no further indication of a fever, the pressure was off, and the doctors decided to "wait and see."
Monday afternoon, Moshe's parents came again, and I took a break to teach swimming.
I planned on returning to the hospital right after I finished teaching.
When I actually finished teaching, I dreaded the thought of returning to the hospital. I felt utterly and completely exhausted!
God bless Moshe, he assured me that it was ok for me to stay home.
I took care of the kids, who appreciated a little parental attention by that point, then CRASHED.
This morning, I again woke the kids at 6:00, then went back to sleep. Moshe called when he woke up (as I had asked him too), and assured me that I could return to sleep. I did.
I woke up, at 10:27 AM. I could not believe I slept so long! I rushed to call Moshe, who was cool as a cucumber.
I made my way to the hospital and, within a few hours, Moshe was released. Yay!!
It is so good to be home, together!
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,
The Face of a Hypocrite
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