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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Paying the Piper

My life has been very busy these past weeks, and even more so these past few days.

Yesterday, I attended the La Leche League Conference in Israel.

I actually considered not attending, but I realized I would be so sad if I missed it. I am so glad that I went!

The topics did not interest me so much on paper, but the lectures were fantastic! I gained new insights and information.

Towards the end of the day, I started feeling really tired. During the last two lectures, the rooms were too warm and I just could not keep my eyes open any more.

I realized that I had hit my limit.

I had the idea that maybe I would join Moshe for the second day of the Star Trek convention, but I really was too tired.

Instead, I went home and spent the afternoon with my daughters. My friend, FB, who drove me home from the conference, came in for a bit and the four of us played this great board game, Cartagena. (thanks ABH!!)

Today, Tuesday, I slept late and did very little. I fully intended on napping during the day but, just as I was about to lie down, I remembered that the kids come home early today. I felt like I needed to be around for my kids. So, I forced myself to stay awake.

I am really tired. But I feel really good!

I know that I need to find my balance. I can go out and do things. But I do need time to "catch up" and rest afterwards. I think the ratio is 1:2 (activity:rest).

I have never been good at slowing down.

This is perhaps my biggest challenge.

Maybe I'll find time to rest tomorrow....

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


Cheryl Pitt said...

With no disrespect to your cancer, I've often wondered if this was one of the positives to a chronic illness. The forcible slowdown.

We moms have such harried lives and are always saying we need to slow down, but do we? I don't. It's not until our kids are grown that we realized how much we missed by not slowing down a bit, and then kick ourselves.

RivkA with a capital A said...

I cannot agree with this one, both because the implication is that parental activity is diametrically opposed to quality time with our kids (about which I fundamentally disagree) and because chronic illness takes so much away from our kids, not the least of which is our time.

Many of the things I like to do most, I do with my kids (or want to do with my kids).

Moreover, one of the greatest values that I hope to pass on to my kids is the value of activism. I want them to be involved and committed. I want them to volunteer and give to others. I want them to learn and to see learning as something that we continue to do, even as adults (perhaps especially as adults).

And I want to continue to model these values for my kids for as long as I can.

Cheryl Pitt said...

Good points. I think you're doing a great job modeling those values for your kids. You do so much.

The activism, having a servant's heart is something I've been trying to work on with my kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm busy with all the "wrong" things.