Making the Effort

We do our best to attend smachot (celebrations). 

Years ago, after attending a friend's funeral, we realized that if we drop everything to attend something so sad, then it is just as important, if not more so, to drop everything in order to attend celebrations.

From that point on, we really made it a priority to attend smachot whenever possible.

That said, over the past few years, we have missed several happy occasions, primarily britot (marking the birth of a son), due to the early hour of the celebration combined with the event being held some distance from our home.

Well, this morning, Moshe's first cousin, RH, celebrated the birth of his first son!  Moshe and I agreed that we would make every effort to attend the brit, despite the distance and the early hour. 

When we arrived, we really felt that the "new" parents appreciated that we made the effort to attend.

Due to heavy traffic, the trip took much longer than we expected and we arrived a bit late. The family made us feel so welcome and appreciated, that we really we felt it was worth the effort!

The simcha itself was very emotional and moving.

Moshe's cousin and his wife already had four wonderful, healthy daughters.  Now, they gave birth to their second set of twins: their fifth daughter and their first son!

The father's father (moshe's uncle) passed away many years ago, when Moshe's cousin was just a little boy, only four years old.  Now, Moshe's cousin could name his new son after his father, and his son's grandfather.  Everyone had tears in their eyes, when Moshe's cousin spoke about passing on his father's legacy to his newborn son.

We all felt the absense of Moshe's aunt, the "new" grandmother, who could not be at the brit because a different granddaughter (the "new" father's niece) is getting married tomorrow in the US!

Thank God for so many simchas!

The brit was such a meaningful experience.  I really appreciate the time we spent with Moshe's cousins; they are all so special.  I really feel blessed to have "inherited" such a warm and caring family.

I am so glad we were able to share in this simcha!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Only Good Things -- Just the Beginning (There's more....)

So, as some of you already know, our blogger friend, Jameel, just had a baby boy.
(MAZAL TOV!!)

Well, to be technically accurate, Jameela is the one who actually gave birth... but those details are not relevant right now. What is important is that Jameel and Jameela are really good friends of ours and they do not live close by. When traffic is good, it takes almost two hours to drive there. In Israel, that is FAR! (Remember, the country is smaller than NJ and you can drive from the top to the bottom in just over 5 hours!)

So, when Moshe told me that davening (morning prayers) were at 7:15 and the brit (circumcision ceremony) would be at 8:00, I pretty much figured it was a non-starter that we would not go. As most of you know already, neither Moshe nor I are morning people and we would have to get up at 4:45 to get there on time! Maybe we could have gotten up at 5:00, but we already established, in a previous post (read the comments), that 5:00 am only exists in an alternate dimension!

Well, this would not be the first time that Moshe and I processed information differently!

"Let's go the night before." Moshe suggested, "We can sleep there and wake up at a normal time."

Now, let us ignore, for the moment, that for me 6:45 in the morning is not normal either. If you know me long enough, you know not to even call me before 9:00 in the morning! If I am up, and I know that you are a morning person (strange as that may be...), I'll call you! Still, for something important enough (this brit counts), I could wake up around 7:00.

The thing is, this is the first week of school. And, despite the fact that our kids are all super independent, and act as if we are just bothering them when we want to spend time with them at home... they all really want us to be home when they go to sleep. They won't admit to it, but they sleep easier (and better) when we are home.

To make matters more complex, the previous night (Monday), we were also out (for Danny's Frei's Yartzheit Shiur (memorial lecture)), and the kids did not get to sleep on time.

Normally I would not worry so much. But didn't I mention this is the FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL??? No pressure there!

Never mind that our son is in a new school and has all these crazy ideas about riding his bike (see previously mentioned post) to school. Besides the second day of school (after the shiur), when his alarm did not go off, he has been biking to school every day!!

So, it just did not seem like such a good idea for us to be out, two nights in a row.

I suggested that Moshe go on his own. Moshe and Jameel have been friends forever, and I could see that it was really important to Moshe to be there. I could see right away that Moshe really wanted to go with me. (OK, all together now: "awwwww, that is sooooo sweet!" )

Then I suggested that maybe we should just get up early and make the drive. There is certainly no traffic at that hour of the morning!

Moshe could not believe I was willing to get up that early. To my chagrin, in all honesty I was not so sure I would still be willing to do it either. The world looks a little different at five in the morning... and not much looks important enough for me to wake up at that bizarre hour!

Then, when another friend, and neighbor of Jameel's, actually offered to host us.... it just seemed like the stars of fate had aligned themselves....

I did stipulate that I would not leave the house unless I was convinced that the kids would be OK without us. Read: that the kids would all go to bed on time (more or less); that they would be able to fall asleep; and that they would be able to get up in the morning!

By 8:30, the kids were totally set and I was totally exhausted! I just wanted to go to bed and sleep.

Another friend had called for a ride and I again suggested to Moshe that he could go on his own, since he would have company. (In the end, the friend did not join us, but we did not know that then.)

Moshe suggested I could just as easily (almost) sleep in the car. He assured me that I did not need to stay awake for him.

So, I shoved some clothes in a bag and off we went!

Well, needless to say, I did not sleep in the car at all!

Besides that fact that spending time driving together is about the only time we have to really talk with no distractions or interruptions, almost as soon as we got in the car Moshe casually mentioned that he does "not really remember how to drive there."

Now, Moshe has been driving there for YEARS!! And when we first started driving there, together, many years ago, Moshe pretty much knew the way on his own; I just helped navigate a bit. So, how is it that now I am the one who knows how to get there without thinking?!?

*sigh*

By the time we arrived, at around 11:00, I got my second wind.

When we got there, Moshe noted that all the windows in our hosts' home were dark. I pointed to one of the downstairs windows, which was lit, and said confidently, our hostess "does not sleep." I know this for a fact because, besides the fact that she has mentioned it several times, every time I am up late on line, she instant messages me!!

Clearly, we are both insane!

The bottom line: we sat down for a drink (vanilla ice coffee, yummmm); after about 45 minutes, Moshe excused himself, and my friend and I sat up talking and laughing (and watching 1960's music videos on YouTube) until 2:00 in the morning!

Honestly, and truly, INSANE.

And TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

This friend just makes me LAUGH!! For the record, her life is not any simpler health wise than mine. She has different problems, yet surprisingly similar feelings about all sorts of health-related issues. And she deals with everything with a bitingly sardonic sense of humor. I love it!!

By the time I went to bed, I was in a great mood, but not sleepy. So I read a bit; it did not take that long for me to wind down....

Seven o'clock in the morning came around too fast.....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Purim -- The Final Chapter

I have a post that comes before this one chronologically. However, since it is primarily about my daughter, I want to get her approval before posting.

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After Megillah reading at my daughter's school, we raced home to prepare mishloach manot (food baskets that are delivered to friends).

In past years, we did a lot of the prep work the day before (on Purim day, as opposed to on Shushan Purim). This year, on Purim day, I took one of my kids to a specialist (everything is fine -- it was just an opporunity to make the appointment without the kid needing to miss school).

So we were even less organized than normal, which is quite a feat, since we are not that organized to begin with!

I was anxious to get everything ready, because we were on a tight schedule. Moshe noted that I seemed a little stressed and suggested that I try to relax a bit more. As if on cue, my eldest daughter announced "Ima, it is so much fun preparing mishloach manot with you!!" (sometimes, if you are very lucky, your kids say exactly the right thing, when you need to hear it the most!!)

Friends started knocking on our door before we were ready! Had we had our mishloach manot ready, we could have given them on the spot, saving ourselves a few stops when we finally went out to deliver....

We were under pressure, because we were invited to a brit (brit milah -- ceremony welcoming a newborn Jewish boy into the Jewish community), and we really wanted to arrive on time.

We had only delivered about a third of our mishloach manot when I had to inform the kids that we would not have time to deliver all of the mishloach manot we had prepared.

At that point, my youngest piped up, challenging, "Whose brit is this anyway?" Clearly, attending the brit of someone she did not know did not interest her.

I tentatively offered the children another option. "Would you like to deliver more mishloach manot by foot and then join IS and her family for Purim Seudah?" (the festive Purim meal)

As one, the children vehemently responded, "Yes!"

When I had discussed this option with IS, she was certain that the children would rather be with us. I was not nearly as sure. Perhaps my instincts were correct, or perhaps it was just that important for my kids to deliver their mishloach manot. Either way, they were happy to walk around together and to have their seudah with their friends.

Even with the greatest of intentions, they could not deliver all the mishloach manot. So, later, when we picked them up, we delivered most of the remaining mishloach manot. (better late, than never...)

We still have a few that never made it to their destination. That happens to us almost every year.... *sigh* One year, I will be more organized!! (b'li neder!!)

Maybe tomorrow I will post this year's maskanot (the lessons I learned).

In any case, at the end of the day, we all had a wonderful Purim.

As they say in the Holy Language:

!היה טוב, וטוב שהיה

Haya tov, v'tov she'haya! (literally: "it was good, and it is good that it was," meaning: it was good while it lasted, but I am glad it is over!!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA