I am so tired. It's really quite amazing.
I felt pretty good on Tues (chemo day) and also on Wednesday... until about 1:00 pm. Then I started to crash....
I would have gone to sleep right away, but I had to go to Sha'are Zedek (SZ) for a CT. My friend, NT was able to take me and it was nice to hang out for a while, even though I am sure I was a little fuzzy.
By the time I got home, I crawled straight into bed and went to sleep.
Somehow, I managed to wake up and attend my book club. It was a real effort to wake up, but well worth it. I had finished the entire book (Arthur & George, by Julian Barnes) and was quite eager to discuss it. And I had a great time. I love the book club. The discussions are always interesting, as are the women who attend (all graduates of Barnard).
I once said to my husband, about my book club: it's such a diverse group of women (referring to the various ages and ideologies of the women who attend). He looked at me and said: I see.... you are all women, you all went to Barnard, you are all Jewish, you all made Aliyah, and you all live in Jerusalem.....
Well, we now have alumnae who come from Beit Shemesh, Modi'in and Givat Ze'ev... so there!
It really is a great group of women. And I read books that otherwise I wouldn't have read, so that's good too. Sometimes I feel a little pressured to do my "homework". Especially when I don't enjoy the book so much.... But I've really enjoyd the exposure to alternative literature (in my case, that means anything that isn't science fiction, Jewish historical fiction, or books about parenting).
I must add that I am very appreciative of AP, who gave me a ride there and PG, who gave me a ride home. I was too tired to drive and would not have been able to attend without their assistance.
This morning, I was super tired as well. I woke up. Did a bit of what I had to do. And crashed again. I only woke up because I had to get to the pool.
Swimming classes were great! Then I came home, had dinner with the kids, and tried to accomplish a few other "things-to-do" before leaving for a Chanukat HaBayit (housewarming party).
I was really tired, and my mom suggested I skip the party. But I didn't want to. I am not prepared to give up the things I want to do. If I stay home every time I feel tired, I will miss out on all the good stuff and just be stuck with the bad stuff. That's no good either. I'd rather feel tired and have fun, than stay at home and feel sorry for myself.
The evening began with a bit of Torah Study, which was almost over by the time we arrived. Then there was a seudah (festive meal), during which RS (the husband) gave an amusing d'var Torah and shared all sorts of interesting tidbits about the apartment and its furnishings, then dessert and benching (blessing after the meal). I was really tired and ready to go at this point. But them Moshe got into a discussion with the CLS's (the wife's) father, and we were there a bit longer.... Lo Nora (it's not so bad) -- I hadn't really had a chance to talk with CLS before, so we sat and chatted too. And that was the nicest part of the evening!
Earlier, Y pointed out to me that this would be the third night in a row that I was going out. Good for me!
I haven't been out this much in a long time!
I'm ready to sleep now!
Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.
With love and optimism,
Reaching the end of my strength
4 hours ago