Tummy Breaks

My stomach is just not happy.

My oncologist advised me to take a break from the drugs for a few days.

I have to be honest, I skipped the drugs this morning because I just could not deal with my upset stomach.

I am so wiped out that I had to cancel swimming lessons today!!  I just could not drag my sorry little *** out of bed!  I also worried that teaching in the hot sun might cause dehydration.  I really do not want to end up in the hospital, and I am losing a lot of fluids....  I am drinking all day long, but I do not know how much I am retaining.

I felt so good yesterday, and today I just feel like a wet dishrag!

I slept for several hours and still feel drained.

At least, I am catching a few extra moments with my girls!  (my son is on tiyul with sayarut)

My stomach feels so awful! (I have not even mentioned my cracked hands and mouth sores!)

I hate this!!


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

First Cycle: Xeloda & Tykerb (Medical Update)

The magic number for cancer seems to be 3.

So far, all my chemotherapies seem to be based on 3 week cycles (with the exception of the bone drugs, which are on a 4 week cycle).

Today, I completed the first 3 week cycle of Xeloda and Tykerb (Lapatinib).

Xeloda is taken every day, twice a day, 4 pills each time, for two weeks straight, then one week off.

Tykerb is taken every day, once a day, 5 pills each time, for the entire three weeks.

I meet with my doctor tomorrow to evaluate the first cycle.

I imagine things will continue pretty much the same for the next cycle.

I am super tired, but I do not know if that is from this regimen, or the radiation, or the previous chemo, or the Bar Mitzvah, or having a house full of guests for almost a month, or the beginning of school, or whatever. There are so many possible explanations; I don't even know how to figure it out!

Besides that, I have the following side effects:

1. Low appetite (not the worst thing for me at this time)

2. Mild nausea (not too bad; no need for drugs)

3. Mild stomach upset -- sometimes constipation, sometimes diarrhea (not too bad; when necessary, I take drugs to prevent diarrhea)

forgot to include: I have swelling in my ankles again. I think. It can be hard to tell.

I am also very thirsty, but it might just be the heat.

I had a week of migraines, but they might have been because I was not drinking enough.

I keep forgetting things. That might just be because I have a bad memory. I feel like it is getting worse, but I cannot tell for sure.

I am still bald. I am getting used to it, but I still wish my hair would start growing back.

The bald thing is really hard on my kids.

I am in a bit of a slump emotionally. It could be from the whole brain mets thing or from my family leaving. Who knows?

I am so tired of having cancer. I hate the way it sucks up my energy.

For every hour of activity, I need three hours to recover. (There it is again, the magic number)

I just wish I did not have cancer.

I want it to go away.

The longer I live with the cancer, the more I am forced to face the fact that it is not just going to go away.

Tomorrow, I have to start taking all those pills again.

I hate it.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

I'm Done with Radiation!!! (Medical Update)

I started counting down last Wednesday, when I had just 5 more to go!

Well, I am done!! Today was my last time!!

I started saying my goodbyes yesterday. It is a fascinating thing, meeting the same people every day for several weeks, becoming intertwined in each others' lives, and then parting, perhaps never to meet again.

Anyway, though I am finished with the treatments, the effects keep on going for a while longer. My head/scalp might get redder over the next two weeks. (oh, joy)

The main thing is that the effects of the radiation continue inside my brain for at least another month and a half. We'll do another MRI at that time to see what the radiation accomplished.

Meanwhile, I am still experiencing the side effects: fatigue, loss of appetite (particularly in the evenings), occasional nauseu, itchy scalp (from dryness -- the nurse gave me), and tired eyes (making it difficult to read small print). I think there are other side effects, but I cannot remember them.

My memory has flown out the window over these past few weeks. The doctor said that it is too early for that to be a side effect of the radiation. I am not convinced.

I am having difficulty remember things as simple as street names. This is not my usual forgetfulness.

I just hope the exhaustion goes away soon. It can take a few weeks; but I have stuff to do NOW!!

(Have I mentioned that we STILL have not invited everyone to the Bar Mitzvah, which is now LESS than a week away?!?!)



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Tummy Troubles

(from last night... I can't post from my bedroom. One day, we'll hook up that second router...)


My tummy is so sad.

No, not sad… upset.

That’s it.

My tummy is upset.

Apparently, Taxotere does not agree with my stomach.

They have been disagreeing with each other all week!

I do not have nausea… at least, nothing to get worked up about.

But I do have… well… I guess there is no way to say this nicely…

I have diarrhea.

(Those of you who know me can just pretend that you did not read these intimate details about my digestive tract)

What can I say? I have had a miserable day, most of which was spent in the bathroom.

I slept for several hours this afternoon and, when I woke up, I did not feel any better.

I sat down to dinner with my kids, but then I needed to excuse myself.

I asked my eldest to take care of cleaning up and putting her siblings to bed.

She had a teenage moment and quite articulately expressed her resentment about doing “my job.”

She was right. But what could I do?

Moshe was not home yet and I needed to go back to bed.

In the end, she did everything I asked.

I called her into my bedroom. She came right away and flopped down on her Abba’s (father’s) bed. When I asked her to do one more thing for me, she responded, rather dejectedly, “I thought you were calling me in to talk.”

Clearly, she needed some attention. (I may not always “get it” right away, but you don’t need to hit me over the head with a hammer!)

We started to talk about this and that and then I remembered. We needed to think of a name for our camp.

Now, our camp is a subject for a different post, but I will just share with you what happened while we were brainstorming.

We got the giggles.

Seriously!

You know how it is when you get the giggles…. You just cannot stop laughing.

Every silly suggestion makes you laugh even harder.

Well, we were rolling with laughter!

I answered the phone several times in the middle and I know we sounded quite loony! That just made us laugh even harder!

When we finally finished, we were both in really good moods.

Just then, my youngest came in, rather contrite.

My eldest, having received the attention she needed, gracefully exited the room and made way for her little sister.

I invited my youngest to sit on my bed and offered to comb out her long hair. There is something very nurturing about combing out hair. (I think my feelings about it stem from when I read Cheaper by the Dozen)

I tortured combed her hair for about 20 minutes, in the middle of which she apologized. (No need to elaborate about forgiven sins)

When I finished, and her hair was all shiny and smooth, and we had a nice reconciliatory hug. Then several more hugs, just because we love each other.

Lest you worry that my son was left out of all these good feelings, in between one of my trips between my bathroom and bedroom, I made sure to give him some positive feedback and get, of course, a nice good night hug!

Not too bad for a mom suffering from stomach problems.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Medical Update: Two Down -- Now What?

So, I have just "used up" my second chemotherapy.

I will not be receiving treatment tomorrow. Instead, my doctor is squeezing me in for an appointment, so we can determine what my next treatment will be.

This past week, I noticed the chemo (Taxol) affected my hands more than I realized. In addition to a loss of dexterity, I lost much of the strength in my fingers. I find it very difficult to open up a bag of nuts or chips. I have to ask my kids to do it for me. I also have difficulty opening bottles and need to use a grip to give me added strength. Usually, I just give the bottle to someone else to open.

My hands feel more or less the same as they did last week (pudgy), and I do experience periodic tingling in my fingers and hands.

My grip is affected and I constantly feel like I am about to drop things. When I had to put eggs away in the refrigerator, I was so careful, lest I inadvertently drop an egg and have to clean up the gooey mess. (It is yucky, just thinking about it!)
My hands are definitely not so happy. I do not see an improvement from last week to this. I do not want to risk this becoming a permanent condition.

I would not be happy if my hands felt like this for the rest of my life.

That was really the deciding factor in finishing with the Taxol
My tongue is also still not happy, but it is better than it was. At least I feel that it is improving.
My feet are still bothering me, but I cannot tell what discomfort is coming from the inside. They are so swollen, and so very uncomfortable.

I saw my GP, about my cough and about my feet. He still thinks the cough is caused by acid reflux. He put me on a stronger anti-reflux medicine (Pantoprazole) for the next two weeks. I am wondering if the reflux will lessen when I get off the Taxol, and if that will affect my cough.

He also sent me for a chest x-ray, an EKG, and an Echol (which I already did for my oncologist). I think everything is normal.

The CT that I did before Pesach also appears to be normal. The areas of the bone tumors appear bigger, but this is also consistent with the extra bone density caused by the bone strengthening drugs (Zomera/Denosumab).

My markers are normal, so we are not worried.

I am doing an MRI in a few weeks and I will do some sort of full body scan so we have a baseline before starting with the new drug.

And, of course, that is the big question now: to which chemotherapy will I switch?

The two drugs my doctor is considering are Taxotere and Xeloda.

He told us to check them out on the internet. We did. Moshe spent most of today reading up on these drugs and some other derivatives of Taxol.

We did our homework.

We have lots of questions for when we meet with the oncologist tomorrow.



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA

Medical Update -- Side Effects of Taxol

Tired all the time

Split nails

Feet are tingly

Left foot is a little numb, especially around the toes and the ball of my foot

Menopause 10 years too soon, including HOT flashes and night sweats

Keep getting colds

Hair is falling out (slowly)


I could post about all of these things, but I thought I'd sum it up for now....



Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,
RivkA