Erev zikaron for Rivka: Details and some thoughts

As previously announced, we will be having an erev zikaron (memorial evening) for Rivka on the evening of the first anniversary of her passing. Everyone who would like to participate is welcome and invited to attend.

Here are the finalized details:

Date: Thursday evening, 21 Marheshvan / November 17
Time: 7:30 pm
Place: Shalom Hartman Institute
Main Beit Midrash
Rehov Gedalyahu Alon 11
Jerusalem
Directions are available here, and on Google Maps here.

In addition, we will be making an aliya l'kever (visit to Rivka's grave) on Sunday morning, 23 Marheshvan / November 20, at (tentatively) 9:00 am. (This is the date on which Rivka's yahrtzeit will be formally commemorated this year.) Details regarding the location and prayers can be found in the post about our last aliya l'kever, here.

I want to thank all the people who responded to my request for photos of Rivka, to be used in the presentation we're making. I apologize that I haven't had the time to thank everyone individually. And to anyone who has some good photos but hasn't sent them to me yet: I'm still interested, and would be very happy to receive them.

Finally, a few thoughts that I'd like to share about the upcoming evening:

All of us miss Rivka tremendously, so it is obvious (and fitting) that we will feel sadness and loss on the night that we gather to remember her together. But at the same time, I hope very much that there will be happiness as well, and an opportunity to smile and laugh as we remember all the good times that we had with Rivka.

In her blog post entitled No Droopy Eyes Please, Rivka wrote the following:

"Okay, so here is the deal: I don't want people to look at me with sad, 'droopy' eyes.
I don't want people to think of me and feel sad.
...
I know that when you first hear the news, it's a bit of a shock. So it's okay to be sad in the beginning... But don't stay there!
...
So here's what I want:
When you think of me, be happy.
When you see me, smile."

Of course, Rivka wrote the above words in reference to herself during her lifetime. But as all of us who knew Rivka understand, she would most definitely ask for the exact same thing after her passing as well.

Now don't get me wrong: On the evening of the erev zikaron, I don't expect that any of us will be able to fully comply with Rivka's request for "No Droopy Eyes". But even through our "droopy eyes", we can and should remember to also be happy when we think of her, and to smile when we see her (in photos, or in our memories).

I look forward to seeing you all in two weeks.

-- Moshe


P.S.: I am sending this message by email to a long list of Rivka's friends, but it is far from being an exhaustive list. So please, make sure to pass along this message to anyone who might be interested.