tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post1419232653712137431..comments2024-03-12T10:20:01.684+02:00Comments on Coffee and Chemo: Not for MeRivkA with a capital Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-81864636144411213302010-05-02T10:15:21.259+03:002010-05-02T10:15:21.259+03:00Ester -- thanks. I think writing the blog post wa...Ester -- thanks. I think writing the blog post was enough for me. I not harbor any negative feelings for this man. The opposite, I feel sorry that he did not have any room in his heart for sensitivity.<br /><br />The only reason I would pursue this issue would be to prevent someone else from being hurt.<br /><br /><br />Andrea -- I did cry... almost. The tears welled up, but, thanks to the support of my friend and my oncologist, I managed to hold them at bay.RivkA with a capital Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-1333908873893736432010-04-28T07:32:16.166+03:002010-04-28T07:32:16.166+03:00Oh my goodness! Unreal... totally unreal. I woul...Oh my goodness! Unreal... totally unreal. I would have cried!<br /><br />I'm so sorry that you had to endure this experience, RivkA! How dreadful... awful!!<br /><br />Love~ Andrea<br />xoxoxoxoxoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-71184333453456860372010-04-22T17:41:05.197+03:002010-04-22T17:41:05.197+03:00You might want to write a letter to the psychologi...You might want to write a letter to the psychologist. Don't censure it. Get it all out, and then burn it. This way you have said your piece (peace). The most important thing is for you to be happy. You may or may not want to address this to him or the hospital. Ultimately it is your decision whether you want to take this on. Remember the most important thing is for you to be happy and at peace. In the Torah Aaron HaChohen (the High Priest) was the one known to “Chase Righteousness”—“Zedek, Zedek Tirdof.” This actually means he pursed peace; he did this by making peace between people, and not that he pursued the need to be right. Again, I love you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13127437239948770289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-78982363998053181092010-04-22T11:19:53.437+03:002010-04-22T11:19:53.437+03:00Thank you all so much for your concern and advice!...Thank you all so much for your concern and advice!! <br /><br />I really appreciate all your comments!! (please forgive me for not responding to you all)<br /><br />Ester - I am especially touched by your approach. I will pray for him (b'li neder), specifically that God will guide him towards greater empathy and compassion.<br /><br />David -- I am impressed with your advice. Of all the suggestions, this might be the most effective, as my goal is to help prevent future incidents of this sort. Perhaps, by raising his awareness, that might be enough.<br /><br />That said, if this guy is so clueless that he can say those things in the first place, I really wonder if he will be able to hear my message. He responded defensively when I was NOT being critical. If I write to him, I will be critical.....<br /><br />Any thought?RivkA with a capital Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-26288880174044243272010-04-22T07:07:09.682+03:002010-04-22T07:07:09.682+03:00a psychologist without empathy is like an engineer...a psychologist without empathy is like an engineer without geometry. <br /><br />I don't think sensitivity can exist only when the clock is ticking.<br /><br />Even on a bad day i can't imagine such a response sounds unusually cruel. i think you met a real live tin man -- if he only had a heart. Maybe we should all feel sorry for him instead of being angry.<br /><br />if you don't want to report him to anyone else, report him to him--with a letter marked personal and confidential. You may remain anonymous or let him know who you are. I think anonymous might be problematic--if he is not a sociopath, he will feel guilty and should have an opportunity to do teshuva for what he put you through. If not, well, then you might consider whether you owe it to others to take it further.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14649051688569775885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-12344789864511813522010-04-21T08:22:10.451+03:002010-04-21T08:22:10.451+03:00This post has been on my mind since I read it yest...This post has been on my mind since I read it yesterday! I even had a dream about it.<br /><br />I agree that you have a great attitude about what happened, and that for your own sake, if you don't feel a need to complain, then you don't have to. You have other things to focus on.<br /><br />But what a shame for the next person! You have an opportunity to suggest to him, or to the hospital, that he himself get therapy or in some other way work on how he deals with stress. Obviously he has frustrations with the bureaucracy at the hospital or with his caseload, but he shouldn't be telling patients they "don't exist." That is what one of my friends calls "beyond beyond."<br /><br />If you don't want to spend too much time on it, just print a copy of your blog post, attach a note, and drop it by the oncology department the next time you go in.<br /><br />Please let us know if you do it. I don't know why this touches a chord, but obviously a lot of us here are riled up, as you say, and I just want to go to the hospital and throttle that guy!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12012646103361709320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-79137588130218299922010-04-21T01:29:12.118+03:002010-04-21T01:29:12.118+03:00I'm so glad you had a witness to the incident ...I'm so glad you had a witness to the incident just for your own peace of mind. May the rest of your week be full of rational humans:)Rieshyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01480054293869865269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-92081844079496296122010-04-20T17:22:05.683+03:002010-04-20T17:22:05.683+03:00I am humbled by your forgiving nature. We should a...I am humbled by your forgiving nature. We should all learn from it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-40237860352255950132010-04-20T15:38:17.594+03:002010-04-20T15:38:17.594+03:00I am so sorry you had to deal with this - and wast...I am so sorry you had to deal with this - and waste two hours of your precious time.<br /><br />I know you may not want to complain, and you seem to have an awesome attitude about it (not surprised bc you totally rock) but if it happens to another person who isn't as level headed as you, there could be a major upset. So complain to save the next person some stress.<br /><br />You have an aweseome attitude. Keep on keeping on.HSaboMilnerhttp://hadassahsabo.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-73358085955857873252010-04-20T00:25:43.900+03:002010-04-20T00:25:43.900+03:00Complain to the hospital the oncology department e...Complain to the hospital the oncology department etc all in writing. He sounds like the worst possible government clerk.<br /><br />The complaint is two-fold:<br />1- appointment procedure<br />2- the rude "creep"Batyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09402874037427009327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-23011198753902309902010-04-19T17:21:19.428+03:002010-04-19T17:21:19.428+03:00I agree with the others that you should report him...I agree with the others that you should report him, but I understand if that isn't your way of dealing with it. However if you had decided that talking to a psychologist might help you, don't let this incident change that. I'm not familiar with the mental health services offered through the kupah but I assume you can get a certain number of visits, especially in your situation. I know, it's another place to shlep, but it doesn't sound like we're talking about long-term therapy. It sounds like what you need to hear, more than anything, is that your feelings are normal. I'm guessing that they are, and that most people with your diagnosis take it a lot harder than you do. But go get yourself checked out, and hopefully you'll get some coping tips too. (If you want to go private I know some great people, but I don't know if they have experience with these specific issues.)<br /><br />If you want to address the problem without looking like you're consciously getting the guy in trouble, you could call the patient advocate, or whoever the appropriate person is, and ask whether the therapists rotate or whether you could see someone in a different department of the hospital, since this guy is such a putz. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone else comes in on a different schedule.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13915399347177829566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-37157763715535964442010-04-19T15:07:47.455+03:002010-04-19T15:07:47.455+03:00I am so sorry you had to go through this! And I t...I am so sorry you had to go through this! And I think your attitude of not wanting to punish him, is healthy for you - but I would tell someone what happened,along with mentioning your understanding that he does often help people - someone should talk to him so he doesn't hurt other people - it's not justified by the fact he sometimes helps.<br /><br />I hope you can find someone good to talk to.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444647725731481144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-69465894203414738732010-04-19T04:47:51.290+03:002010-04-19T04:47:51.290+03:00I am so sorry that you experienced the worst possi...I am so sorry that you experienced the worst possible behavior from a man who took an oath to heal.<br /><br />You are not at fault. So many doctors have egos that could fill a stadium. It's sad that they lose their drive to help others, or never really had it at all.<br /><br />Is there someone else you can see other than him? Keep trying, the right doctor has got to be out there.<br /><br />You are in my prayers, dear friend.<br /><br />Love HasyaHasya Ya'arahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17277283281453966588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-23864709683556575902010-04-19T02:47:51.024+03:002010-04-19T02:47:51.024+03:00Rivka,
A great way to be empowered by this situat...Rivka,<br /><br />A great way to be empowered by this situation is to pray for this person on a regular basis. Ask for blessing for him and his family and all his endeavors. In an unconscious manner he has dumped his angst on you because he knows on a soul- level that you can handle it and he knows you could help him. What this person is saying is "help me." Imagine that he is your brother and you desire all the best for him. It is obvious he choose you because you are a beacon of light (isn't that what your fist name means anyway...) I promise you that even though you will be doing this for him later on you will realize what a gift this was because it will bring you to deep peace. I have done this many times and have always benefited greatly. I love you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13127437239948770289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-13732401303559307112010-04-19T01:54:04.673+03:002010-04-19T01:54:04.673+03:00This doctor was not only rude and insensitive he w...This doctor was not only rude and insensitive he was very wrong. No one should be treated the way you were. You absolutely should write a letter stating exactly what you have told us, it may not help you sweetie but it may help someone else. This man (I refuse to call him Dr.) needs to be taught that other people's time is just as important as his is.....wonder how he would feel if he had been the patient and you the doctor or even if it were one of his loved ones being treated so rudely as you were. It is just wrong........:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-84168298878781847232010-04-19T01:16:59.879+03:002010-04-19T01:16:59.879+03:00I think the laws of shmiras haloshon kick in here,...I think the laws of shmiras haloshon kick in here, so you might want to consult a rav. my personal opinion is that this episode needs to be reported. how can this man make tshuva if he doesn't know how much harm he did? he appears to be clueless, which means he'll do it again. you would be helping him, as well as his clients.malkahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12741152368539921820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-82229899764098882762010-04-18T23:27:52.069+03:002010-04-18T23:27:52.069+03:00ooo -- that's terrible!
ABHooo -- that's terrible!<br />ABHAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-64498541295813754202010-04-18T22:47:01.661+03:002010-04-18T22:47:01.661+03:00I realize that you don't want to get him into ...I realize that you don't want to get him into trouble, Rivka, but still... what he did was unacceptable. I'm sorry you had to go through that.Rahel Jaskowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05626844724417933492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-24359364735291187442010-04-18T22:34:07.712+03:002010-04-18T22:34:07.712+03:00Wow, who knew this would get you all so riled up!!...Wow, who knew this would get you all so riled up!!<br /><br />Thank you all for your support!!<br /><br />Let me emphasize that this pychologist has helped several of my friends (and I imagine many others as well).<br /><br />I am assuming this guy just had a bad day.<br /><br />We are all human, after all. Everyone has their bad days.<br /><br />It is true that his behavior was unacceptable. And I would appreciate a sincere apology. But I'm not looking to punish this guy.<br /><br />That said, I am not going to spill my guts to him either.<br /><br />On my way out of the hospital, ran into my oncologist and let him know what happened. I think I told someone else too (maybe one of the nurses). <br /><br />That's enough for me. <br /><br />In the scheme of things, this is really not that important.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />To answer the question about why the secretary did not know: The regular secretary was out and the substitute just did not know. It was an innocent mistake.RivkA with a capital Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-82482755736519714132010-04-18T22:31:28.020+03:002010-04-18T22:31:28.020+03:00I'm speachless....I'm speachless....rickismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07817042750959998664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-14761184114457852222010-04-18T20:24:34.635+03:002010-04-18T20:24:34.635+03:00nothing new to add, except my own support - i wond...nothing new to add, except my own support - i wonder if anybody in HR (or PR for that matter) at the hospital keeps tabs on patient satisfaction/complaints on the internet - maybe someone could bring your blog entry to their attention.<br /><br />big hug<br />BWAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-13830414456929423362010-04-18T20:16:39.904+03:002010-04-18T20:16:39.904+03:00Report him . That is unacceptable behaviour.Report him . That is unacceptable behaviour.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-79817895540757440172010-04-18T19:36:43.906+03:002010-04-18T19:36:43.906+03:00And why didn't the secretary know he wouldn...And why didn't the secretary know he wouldn't take you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-65161547036692447262010-04-18T19:35:57.664+03:002010-04-18T19:35:57.664+03:00I am appalled. I am so sorry you were subjected t...I am appalled. I am so sorry you were subjected to that.Libahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10457458986446840678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-45493571463216279502010-04-18T17:39:52.143+03:002010-04-18T17:39:52.143+03:00Ditto, ditto, and ditto.
REPORT THE GUY!Ditto, ditto, and ditto.<br /><br />REPORT THE GUY!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com