tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post6488894117407005337..comments2024-03-12T10:20:01.684+02:00Comments on Coffee and Chemo: ExposedRivkA with a capital Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-63735328088182509382009-10-08T01:16:03.881+02:002009-10-08T01:16:03.881+02:00I also found davening this YK very difficult, afte...I also found davening this YK very difficult, after losing my mother earlier this year. Actually, I found myself suddenly incredibly angry. Why had her prayers not been answered last year??? It was a very emotional day. <br />The thing is, I clearly remember my mother crying in shul on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur after her own mother died, 15 years or so ago. I was a teenager and incredibly embarrassed; a friend of my mother's saw my reaction and put her arm around me, telling me not to be, that my mother's reaction was completely normal. Sadly, I understand now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-72753016552055345072009-10-03T20:00:47.186+02:002009-10-03T20:00:47.186+02:00RivkA - it is a different situation, but I can rel...RivkA - it is a different situation, but I can relate to you being embarrassed. After a number of years trying unsuccesfully to get pregnant, I found myself crying on Yom Kippur too. A lot of the women around me did not know my specific situation, but I still felt exposed. The lack of privacy is a difficult thing to deal with. Just remember, everyone has "pekalach" (as my grandmother used to say).westbankmamahttp://westbankmama.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-99582244688577062009-10-01T20:59:38.312+02:002009-10-01T20:59:38.312+02:00Well, to tell you the truth, after hiding in my ho...Well, to tell you the truth, after hiding in my house for 3 years I've picked myself up and gone out to the working world. I can only do this by not thinking about the cancer that I had. If I let myself think about it, the fear of it returning seems to take over my life. I can only function by detaching myself from it and going on. I suppose that's one of the important things we learn from dealing with cancer. Life is finite here on earth. Make the most of it now. We realize that. Not everyone does. For that I am thankful. For every day that I can wake up and enjoy life I am thankful.S. I. Goodmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01279547888926321554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-10644416378191045702009-10-01T14:51:43.768+02:002009-10-01T14:51:43.768+02:00Crying is healthy; I wish I had the knack.
Refuah ...Crying is healthy; I wish I had the knack.<br />Refuah ShleimahBatyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09402874037427009327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-65094773776110956982009-10-01T00:56:01.678+02:002009-10-01T00:56:01.678+02:00I think it is a gift that we get to deeply feel wh...I think it is a gift that we get to deeply feel what it means to daven for our lives. A few months after having survived the flesh eating bacteria, having been in a coma with system failure, I found myself all-out crying at the Rosh Hashana service with the part about "who will die and who will live, who will die before their time, who by fire, who by stoning, ...and so on. I bawl at that one still, 2 years later.<br /><br />Thank Gd we can cry. It shows exactly how alive we really are.<br />And you, my friend, are very, very alive. And you can cry if you want to. :-)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04944081107347417231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-6608182126302567102009-09-30T21:55:29.953+02:002009-09-30T21:55:29.953+02:00You are a very brave woman and an example for many...You are a very brave woman and an example for many. Hope you no longer feel so bad about being exposed during the YK davening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-39757614764209380172009-09-30T21:08:11.066+02:002009-09-30T21:08:11.066+02:00I can't relate to the reasons *why* behind the...I can't relate to the reasons *why* behind the crying, but for different reasons, I found myself bawling during one point in the service. Tears were streaming down my face, and I felt like everyone must be staring at me. <br /><br />Of course, no one was, I'm sure no one noticed, yet I still felt embarrassed and exposed. And of course, no one knows my reasons for crying. And no one would have any cause to think they knew my reasons. That must be a big difference, I'm sure.<br /><br />Thank you for that quote; it is comforting. It also, for some reason, reminded me of a quote I used to keep on my computer monitor (back in my desktop days), <br />"do not ask a child what is a miracle,<br />she will ask you, 'what in all the world is <i>not</i>?' "<br /><br />It seems totally unrelated, but my mind is connecting the two.Alissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00846819414972534465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-31725104119164871822009-09-30T18:46:59.978+02:002009-09-30T18:46:59.978+02:00RivkA, none of us knows how long we have, you'...RivkA, none of us knows how long we have, you're just more aware of it than most of us are. All of us should have the same difficulty praying for life that you do. I have the most trouble blessing my kids before YK, because I can deal with whatever happens to me.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13915399347177829566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-5361360789417624692009-09-30T16:14:20.113+02:002009-09-30T16:14:20.113+02:00Yes, the prayers were extremely hard for me too th...Yes, the prayers were extremely hard for me too this year, losing my Tamar to cancer only 6 weeks ago.<br />Praying for life was close to impossible.<br />I stopped caring about everybody see me crying long ago.<br />(It did bother my daughters, though..)<br />I wish you many many happy years.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998143696942948568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-51124235998505385862009-09-30T03:26:32.026+02:002009-09-30T03:26:32.026+02:00Rivka,
I found Yom Kippur difficult this year as w...Rivka,<br />I found Yom Kippur difficult this year as well...somehow, dealing with cancer, the prayers took on a new (and more difficult) meaning. I think you were brave to open yourself up enough to really pray, and to cry, even if you felt embarrassed. I'm sure others were not judging you.<br />Shana Tova to you.adenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04084488953399687768noreply@blogger.com