tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post3865779556119715402..comments2024-03-12T10:20:01.684+02:00Comments on Coffee and Chemo: Feeling Way Better Today!!RivkA with a capital Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09411034058195730044noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-71976723884280804662010-06-08T00:24:08.974+03:002010-06-08T00:24:08.974+03:00Hey RivkA!
As you know, I'm going through a d...Hey RivkA!<br /><br />As you know, I'm going through a divorce, and have been dealing with guilt about its effect on our son. A friend gave me some great advice about this that he received from the Bostoner Rebbe <i>zatz"l</i> for his own divorce. (It has relevance ... you'll see.)<br /><br />The Rebbe asked him if he believed in <i>hashgacha pratit</i> (divine intervention in daily life) and he agreed. Then the Rebbe asked if he believed that H.P. was just for him or if it was for all Jews and my friend of course agreed that all Jews have their lives "adjusted" by the Master of the Universe according to a Divine Plan. The Rebbe then pointed out that "<b><i>there are no innocent bystanders in Judaism</i></b>." <b>Everyone</b> in a divorcing family is <b><i>meant</i></b> to undergo that process, each one for his or her own personal <i>tikun</i> (in this case, personal growth.) The children <b><i>need</i></b> to be in that divorce for their own parts in the Divine Plan. Ours is not to understand that Plan, but only to accept that it exists and there is The Big Someone Running the Show.<br /><br />Well it seems to me that what applies to divorce also applies to cancer. Your three kids are <b><i>meant</i></b> to see the example you are giving them of overcoming adversity - even as you focus on yourself you are giving them such a powerful lesson in personal <i>middos</i> (values) that their spirits are gaining great things from being in your family.<br /><br />Who knows? It just could be that what seems to be <i>hefkeruth</i> (abandonment) of MD might be just what he needs to develop this math gift that you are talking about. It so happens that math geniuses are by nature solitary and introspective, and if you and Moshe were well and constantly "helping" him and interacting with him you could be interfering with his gift! So thirty years from know when you watch him getting his Abel prize, (like the Nobel, but for Mathematics,) you can say "I'm glad I had cancer back then so that I let him become the genius that he is today!" :)<br /><br />- EAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-50241198996478066662010-06-02T20:40:00.383+03:002010-06-02T20:40:00.383+03:00You sound a lot better today. I'm glad!
I'...You sound a lot better today. I'm glad! <br />I'm sorry you're not doing what you think you should vis-a-vis MD's education but it sounds like he's doing wonderfully. <br /><br />I just borrowed a library book re math - it isn't my thing but who knows? Maybe it'll convince me. <br /><br />Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I hear you re the guilt and it's good you try to let that go.mrg & grmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697818417053097756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-5585993636515294482010-06-02T09:59:07.902+03:002010-06-02T09:59:07.902+03:00Glad you're feeling better.Glad you're feeling better.michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13867062282650501107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2782551808324372235.post-30072843358306284952010-06-02T06:22:32.731+03:002010-06-02T06:22:32.731+03:00So glad you had a good day!
For the record, I oft...So glad you had a good day!<br /><br />For the record, I often feel bad as well about dropping the ball on my kids' education, and I don't really have an excuse:)<br /><br />But really, my support group was yelling at me (politely) tonight about accepting what we can and can't do, and that Hashem gives us circumstances and we do the best we can. It sounds like your son is coming up with his own ideas, and in the long run, his emotional development and personal strengths will drive his future. And y'all put so much work into those.Staying Afloathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06228636990839399469noreply@blogger.com